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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Search Results for: song
The song in my head goes full Greatest Generation…
It never fails – every morning I wake up with a song in my head. Sometimes there’s an obvious reason for this, like if it’s something I was listening to the night before. But usually I couldn’t begin to tell … Continue reading
My song to the sun
The sky finally lightened enough for me to see what I already knew: No sun today either. And it’s about that time that I realized the sun has left me forever, it has dumped me for another hermit. And I … Continue reading
Do you have a song that brings you to tears?
I think most of it is the voice. When she was young she had such a voice. Maybe some of it is that I have no memory of my mother. But at least a little of it is the … … Continue reading
Sometimes the song in my head doesn’t let me down.
In the seventies the three greatest voices in country music were Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton, in any order you like. They all worked together often and any time you get two or more of them on a … Continue reading
I’ve got an S&G song stuck in my head…
“Then I’m laying out my winter clothes and wishing…” What? That I was gone? Nah. I hate winter but not that much. Just this minute got word from Big Brother that the hurricane missed them; I guess it didn’t officially … Continue reading
I thought I’d seen all this guy’s funny songs…
Gets a little TMI at the end there, but the trip to the uncomfortable place is funny. Actually as I approach old age this is one reason I’ve gradually come to favor revolvers…
Seymour sings me the song of his people – at four in the morning.
I’ve often speculated about whether the hens throw him out of the coop around then, since he’s incapable of shutting up. I mean he does this every single morning but mostly I don’t care because most evenings I remember to … Continue reading
Private to domestic terrorists: You’ll need a theme song.
Allow me to be of service. Be aware that this song may actually be NSFW. It’s incredible to me that they got away with recording it in 1963. Many years later Leslie Fish recorded a greatly expurgated – almost entirely … Continue reading
Bummer. I always liked that song.
Okay, so there’s this Bernie Sanders ad… It only tangentially mentions Sanders, which is funny given that he’s not a premium brand quite yet, and will forever ruin one of my favorite S&G songs in memory. I saw it a … Continue reading
The Song of My People…
Yeah, allow me to retort by introducing you to the cuisine of my people. Landlady sent this to me this morning…
The song in my head uses an unfortunate word…
I looked up the daily earworm on Youtube just to get the lyrics right. It’s a perfectly inoffensive little sad song by a perfectly inoffensive little band, has a nice pace and rhythm, reasonable lyrics … and never gets any … Continue reading
The same old song…
Gun-grabbers need to get some new arguments. They’ve worn the texture right off all the old ones. Here’s a law professor at Stanford University, going on about the country’s crying need for more victim disarmament… He argued that the Second … Continue reading
Needed to work on the Shit-Shoveling Song…
Tam’s got her fun show song, so clearly no blog can succeed in the modern market without its own theme song. Since the management and staff of TUAK don’t get many chances to attend gun shows, this one seems more … Continue reading
The problem with waking up with a weird song in your head…
…when you’re not musical at all, is that the same subconscious which planted it there may also feel free to revise and extend the lyrics. And so Talks To Himself may tend chickens while muttering “‘What a daaay for kickin’ … Continue reading
I dedicate this song to the world I left behind.
Ex-wives and traffic lights Busted pipes and busted hopes Politicians and lying bosses (but I repeat myself) Who promise whatever it takes for you to crawl in that bear’s cave But all you hope is the paycheck don’t bounce And … Continue reading
Sometimes the song in my head makes me sad.
Click is the last of the original cats. By far the smartest – the desert could never get her. But she’s got something wrong with her hindquarters. I’m trying to get her to a vet, but it’s hard to get … Continue reading
Location-appropriate songs for the season
You guys enjoy your Christmas. I’m just going to enjoy feeling my fingers soon.
The Last Song in the World
Courtesy of Bear, here are a couple of young folks who might have given a bit more thought to prepping ahead of time. Not that it would have helped, probably…
What preppers need is a theme song.
Something … not very like this one. Guy’s got a million of them. I like this one much better. Sigh. It’s guys like this that make me wonder where all my bandwidth allotment’s gone. Poopy service provider, anyway. Yes, poopy. … Continue reading
Sometimes I get a song stuck in my head…
…And I want to hang on to it for a while, because it might make good relish for a post about something else. But I usually forget. So today’s Song in my Head is dedicated to most of mankind. Present … Continue reading