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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Author Archives: Joel
Yesterday morning he disappeared to go hang with Landlady. Possibly having enjoyed as much of Dharma’s company as he cared to, he wandered over to S&L’s and spent the night there. As they were packing to leave ahead of the … Continue reading
I checked to see if this article was a parody, it’s that perfect. A serial rapist was killed by a runaway trailer while distracted by pornography on his cell phone in Tennessee – just half a mile from where he … Continue reading
Yesterday I went out to the county road to pick up Landlady, because given the forecast only an idiot would drive her little townie car to the wrong side of what’s likely to be miles of mud by tomorrow. I … Continue reading
With the opportunity to make chicken pies arising suddenly out of the ruins of a bread bake gone bad, I had to plan on the fly. Since I’m also still learning this, results were bound to be…uneven. First one out … Continue reading
Never saw much more than a glimpse of the sun today, and the weekend is supposed to be pretty wet. So it looks like we’re back on an austerity budget with the juice. End of April, and I’m blessing myself … Continue reading
I think the main lesson we should take from this is “Ian and Karl have a flamethrower now.”
Woke this morning playing out all the things that needed to get done. It’s been an awful week for weather, as I gather it is all up and down this longitude. I’ve been out in it rather more than I … Continue reading
h/t Yeah, some day you guys will be sitting around the internment camps saying, “Hey, remember Joel? And that time they found that picture on his computer? Man! I didn’t know you could squash a person that flat.”
The chickens normally go in and out of their coop from a small high door, as is traditional to give them some protection from wind and cold. I made the ramp from a long piece of scrap, of course, but … Continue reading
…within which we can find a barrier of stunning – and eviscerating – antiqued whirling blades, and of course the traditional sharks with frickin’ laser beams… Most transparent administration in history, my ass… The U.S. Secret Service plans to raise … Continue reading
What the hell good is it? I keep reading the titles of articles I can’t bring myself to actually click on, assuring republicans that the People Have Spoken and the repub nominee will be Donald John Trump – in spite … Continue reading
…that any vehicle I drive for an extended period of time becomes undrivable by anyone else. This is because as things wear out or break, I just find workarounds rather than spend money and time to repair the problem. So … Continue reading
If you send a comment with an unusual number of links (hasn’t happened yet) and it doesn’t show up ever, I probably bulk-nuked it. I’m getting lots of love from the usual suspects today, is all. Also, it’s cold and … Continue reading
Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy stylings of Barack Obama: “I want to begin with an observation that, given the challenges that we face in the world and the headlines we see every day, may seem improbable but it’s true. We … Continue reading
Factors in favor weren’t hard to find, I was down to a heel of bread that might go moldy tomorrow and it was a cool windy day anyway, far too windy to want to work outside. Gusts to 60 on … Continue reading
They exist to break your heart. Yesterday I wore my favorite pair to S&Ls so as not to attend one of their famed neighborhood breakfasts in ragged BDUs. And the worn fabric just spontaneously tore, just from a little tug. … Continue reading
Monday mornings I usually go to town with D&L for drinking water and groceries. But this morning they had rather more extensive chores and I didn’t feel like spending hours sitting around. So I gave D my empty bottles and … Continue reading
Allegedly – I don’t know because it’s dubbed in Spanish for some reason – in the video linked here Hillary accuses Donald of…well… “He’s somebody who lives in a very protected environment. I don’t think he knows that many people … Continue reading
She likes the 22/45, I don’t think she’d find the Lite version an improvement. One nice thing about living here, you don’t need to “go to the range” just to try out a gun.
Wish me luck.