Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

An Updated American Tune…

I wish I had half this lady’s talent for snark. Oh, beautiful for drone-filled skies A tax code so arcane! A voting class on their fat ass From Houston to Fort Wayne! America! America! You voted stuff for free You … Continue reading

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Gettin’ it done between t-storms

The walls were too wet to paint when I came out this morning, so I figured I’d better dig for a while.The little gully that empties into my front yard just needs some help encouraging the water to turn right. … Continue reading

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That “Oh, Shit!” Moment…

Once in a while the desert chooses a propitious moment to remind you that it can kill you any old time it wants. Went to town this morning to buy paint. Stopped at the convenience store on the way out … Continue reading

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“Muad’Dib, your plan worked!”

Okay, a number of commenters suggested that I rig the live trap with only one side open, and although it clearly isn’t supposed to work that way it turned out it’s possible with just a little non-destructive rod-flexing. So I … Continue reading

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My god. This is your tax dollars at work, America.

If I get invited to a July 4 BBQ (won’t happen) and I meet a person who has taken this advice, I will kick him or her right in the knee and flounce my outraged ass right home. Tips for … Continue reading

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Figures…

Turns out I don’t have enough paint to finish the walls. Guy said two gallons would cover 600 sq. ft. so I bought three. I’m less than halfway through and more than halfway out of paint. Good news is I … Continue reading

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Okay, so that happened…

I’m such a jerk. The part of this that most bothers me is that my oldest sibling actually hopped into a car and drove the length of the country to my father’s bedside. The thought of doing that never once … Continue reading

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If you’ve put in four hours’ work before ten…

…that’s a good morning. No good pix, because the walls are still in shadow. But I started the painting today. I picture the Lair slowly disappearing into its background…

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Scott Adams has clearly never lived off-grid…

Last night we had one of those T-storms that spend hours building. You don’t know where it’s going to hit but somebody’s going to get blasted and you hope they have really good lightning protection. And that it’s not you. … Continue reading

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Came home this afternoon to an email from my older brother…

Dad has gone downhill rapidly the last few days. We had a long and weird Sunday after he fell out of bed at the rehab facility. He was transferred to an ER (the one you know all too well), and … Continue reading

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On the success rate of the new squirrel trap…

The second squirrel has apparently learned not to get all the way inside, so the door can’t latch down on it. It doesn’t always get the bait, but the trap never gets it. This morning I lay in bed thinking … Continue reading

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Morning Chores

This being the first of the month I made my rounds of the powersheds under my protection, topping off batteries with distilled water. First stop, since his shed gets the hottest the fastest, was Former Neighbor J. I went armed … Continue reading

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What happens when you run out of other people’s money…

or, “Can I have Greece, once it’s been emptied of people?” ATHENS — Retirees throughout Greece mobbed banks as they tried to withdraw a maximum of 120 euros ($134) in pension payments on Wednesday, as the country teetered on the … Continue reading

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Impressive!

The live-trap has been tripped three times so far today, with no prisoners taken. So I tried something different, having just finished baking bread. Less than half an hour later my foe managed to snag the bread without tripping the … Continue reading

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This is clear asteroidophobia

I suppose these puny lifeforms think they get all the rights? Probably won’t be happy until we all burn up in their abusive atmosphere, will they? AIA* Is Rape! Yes, when I heard about “Asteroid Day,” I thought at last … Continue reading

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Poultry and livestock, livestock and poultry…

The past several days have been free of Other People’s Cattle, a blessed state which ended abruptly yesterday morning. Before going to town I had to dismount Ian’s big propane tank and load it into the trailer, and this time … Continue reading

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New Arrivals at the Gulch!

I’ve been hoping all season to get some new Rhode Island Red pullets, but the chicks at the local feed store are strictly first-come-first-served and I always missed out. Finally this past Sunday I talked with Landlady about having her … Continue reading

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First belly laugh of a busy morning…

Words to live by, courtesy of Claire. I dunno where she found it.

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We have taken our first prisoner!

The new trap, while difficult to set up, seems to serve its purpose. After this storm passes I’ll question the prisoner about his unit’s troop movements. I’m fairly sure a full and fair trial will subsequently find him guilty of … Continue reading

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The War Escalates

Hoards of fast, stealthy giant Hessian squirrels have invaded the Lair’s grounds – I think they’re probably crack mercenary squirrels hired by the local packrats. I got one a few days ago, but he was so wily I had to … Continue reading

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