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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
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The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Author Archives: Joel
A reader just dropped this in my inbox and I got a kick out of it… And it’s funny I should have opened that email at that moment, because I was just mentally composing a post acknowledging that another reader … Continue reading
Oh, it got hot yesterday. And humid, even though the rain squalls never came near us for once. I was in a dreadful muck sweat: Just going out for a minute to check waterers was enough to get the sweat … Continue reading
I think maybe Beretta’s latest antics have gotten under somebody’s skin. Not sure why else anybody would write a hit piece as poorly conceived as this one. Beretta’s New Super Rifle Gun company Beretta is tone deaf when it comes … Continue reading
Yeahhh. That would be great. M’kay? Thaaanks. ETA:
I’m short on word count, but it seems like all I can think to add to my draft at this point is just bloat. Maybe more amusing stories will emerge, but I’m going into the editing phase in the next … Continue reading
It’s hot. I’m hibernating. Here’s a funny picture. h/t
Past few days I’ve been in the Jeep rather more than is good for my fuel budget. My entertainment choices this far out are talk radio, “country” music and a couple of guys yammering about sports celebrities. On the talk … Continue reading
You can lie in bed at 4:30 in the morning fulminating about the constant noise that’s keeping you awake, saying to yourself “I’m going to kill that bird” – and actually mean that. If it’s your neighbor’s dog that’s doing … Continue reading
When you’re transferring speed dial numbers to a new phone, and you realize the only retailers in your phone list are a feed store and a junkyard? (and btw, is there a drearier chore anywhere than building a new phone … Continue reading
Claire Wolfe on the calamitous 17th century. When I’m in a, shall we say, mellow mood with friends, I can occasionally launch into accounts of politics in seventeenth-century England. This usually results in incredulous stares, followed by, “Oh, so sorry. … Continue reading
…so I won’t be retiring my low-resolution digital point’n’pray any time soon. On the other hand the small file size may help the whole ‘couldn’t send this pic with the cell phone no matter how badly you want’ thing. Atmo … Continue reading
Ever since the state where I live dropped the requirement for a license to carry concealed pistols, I’ve started covering mine whenever I go to town. It’s not for any big tactical reason, it’s just that I’m never at my … Continue reading
So a friend of the blog sent me a nice nearly-new qwerty phone to replace my old faithful Tracfone whose battery has gone perilously tired. Unfortunately it turned out it wasn’t actually a Tracfone at all but something from Not-Quite-Tracfone … Continue reading
…and whether it’s related in any way to Tracfone? A reader sent me a nice used cellphone last weekend, which asfaik both of us believed was a tracfone. But when I tried to activate it I was informed that it … Continue reading
A couple of days ago there was a nice big flood that tore up all the wash crossings. Most were back in service within hours, as whoever lived closest with a tractor went out and did his or her thing. … Continue reading
I Shall Return.
Tryna make some money.
And all the time I was working on arsenic caps this morning I worried about LB flooring the Lair with liquid shit because he didn’t do his chores first thing this morning. He didn’t, thank heaven. And he still didn’t … Continue reading
So I’ve got a paying gig making arsenic caps, which ought to be done Friday or even tomorrow if I push. That’s about $150 in my pocket but it’s already spent because I’m running out of glaucoma goop. So that’s … Continue reading
1. Clean Water 2. Dirty Water 3. Salt Water 4. Fresh Water 5. Chlorinated Water Just piling on.