Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

The key to joie de vivre in hand-washing…

…is frequency. I’ll remember that advice with a bitter sneer in a few months when I’m heating water on the stove and trying to pound sweatshirts clean in my kitchen sink. But for now, a sunny day without (or even … Continue reading

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After almost four days with no more than peek-a-boo sun…

A day earlier than predicted, but this area seems to take pleasure in confounding weathermen. Anyway I heard on the radio yesterday that that tropical storm down south had fizzled out. I must say my tiny little solar power system … Continue reading

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Here’s something far more interesting.

Here’s Karl Kasarda in a Red Skull haircut waving a submachinegun around! Because who wouldn’t find that a confidence-builder? Seriously, Ian and Karl got a lot of comments about the trailer for the first episode of their new InRange show, … Continue reading

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Do you know what I care about even less than what-all some celebrity was seen wearing at some party?

Romney will run, top Wall Street backer predicts: ‘I think he’s going to do it’ Fade further into obscurity already. Geez. Nice hair, though.

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Did you know…

…that water can fall right out of the sky? For hour after hour? For, like, days? I’m in charge of weather around here, and the boys are becoming increasingly critical of my mismanagement. Personally I have several books I could … Continue reading

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The Gulch’s running gag…

…is that a visit from the two actual property-holders, Landlady and Ian, is more likely than not to bring horrid weather where before there were clear skies and fair temps. Over the past couple of months their visits have set … Continue reading

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Some days…

I’ve got care package acknowledgements to make, observations about synchronicity to bloviate about, posts that will transform your life for the better in utterly cosmic ways. But I feel like crap and it’s been a lousy day and all I … Continue reading

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On Inrange.tv

Ok, you guys know Ian is a close friend of mine. So if his new offering of Inrange.tv were a total failure, I’d just sort of go silent. Obviously I hope he does well, but first he’s obligated to do … Continue reading

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When “Don’t Tread on Me” becomes…

“Don’t Drone Me, Bro!” Virginia’s special “Don’t Tread on Me” license plate featuring the Gadsden flag has exploded in popularity since its introduction. It has quickly overtaken many other specialty license plates in the Old Dominion. If anybody out there … Continue reading

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I’m not your dad, so you kids do what you want. But…

I’m just sayin’: If you’re doing it this way, you’re doing it wrong. At Ohio State University, to avoid being guilty of “sexual assault” or “sexual violence,” you and your partner now apparently have to agree on the reason WHY … Continue reading

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Me so exploited

While the Alpha-Plus citizens are forced to tend to the needs of smelly, nasty horses… …we happy Epsilons seek hearty exercise in the rock gullies. We practice our boy scout knots on the wood snags… …then jerk them into the … Continue reading

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In several states, killing a K9 dog is a serious felony. It’s universally a crime of some sort. Unless…

Ah, you already guessed it. If you’re the cop who’s actually responsible for the dog, it’s apparently a minor disciplinary matter. And the “have mercy, I’m an orphan now” defense actually works. Duplin County Sheriff Blake Wallace says Dep. Kevin … Continue reading

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InRange TV!

You all know my buddy Ian, who runs Forgotten Weapons. For some years now Ian and I have had a running love/hate relationship with gun-related “reality” TV shows like Top Shot or the lately-infamous Sons of Guns. We love the … Continue reading

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Introducing Passionate Gun Love Magazine!

So this morning – just so you wouldn’t have to – I read a Mother Jones article long-form advertisement for Mothers Demand Attention. I dunno why – it was six in the morning and I was already bored, I guess. … Continue reading

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Why can’t it ever be simple?

So…day two hauling increasingly large wooden things out of Neighbor J’s rock gully. Recall that this was supposed to be just a pile of brush, with maybe a few big chunks near the bottom. Uh huh. I cut out the … Continue reading

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Query: Why oh why would anybody ever, in a billion zillion years, believe a single syllable of a single word this guy ever said on any subject, no matter how mundane or uncontroversial?

Just wondering. You wouldn’t hire me as a voice of youth, or to write a fashion & glamour column, or as an athlete in any track & field event whatever. Why not? Because as an old one-legged raggedy hermit I’m … Continue reading

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The expression “I’m getting too old for this…”

…does come to mind. Neighbor J, by far my most dependable employer, has for years been bothered by two big piles of roadkill juniper. When clearing and leveling a space for a house, it was the most common practice to … Continue reading

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On the .22 crisis, a question…

Over at the Adaptive Curmudgeon there’s a discussion about hoarding and its effect on .22 price and availability. The Mudge, like many people, assumes the shortage is caused by hoarding but I’m not sure I buy it. I looked for … Continue reading

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This is probably in very bad taste…

But I try not to ever let that stop me. H/T to Vanderboegh.

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D&L’s all-around veranda

Regular readers will recall that this spring I helped neighbor D dig and pour the columns for the all-around veranda they planned for their earthbag & strawbale extravaganza. Two years ago they spent all season mudding the strawbales, and last … Continue reading

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