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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Author Archives: Joel
The last two horses shipped out Saturday. I did a final shit-shoveling and hauled away last week’s pile, and I’m out of the business. Sigh. Gonna miss those guys. Not to mention the steady employment.
This is Serenity, the very first inhabited structure on Landlady’s property. It long predates me. In early 2009 Landlady, sick of looking at it, requested that I make it go away. She was non-specific as to how or where. Seemed … Continue reading
But Kevin D. Williamson is siding with the enemy. If there is to be a plague of goose poop befouling an American city, it really could not happen to a more fitting municipality than our national capital, … that eternal … Continue reading
Those cattle guys came by on Friday, and yesterday I wandered over to see what they’d been up to… And I guess we’ll find out if they did any good. Doubt it. Curiously, through all this they’ve ignored the original … Continue reading
Though I must confess the only Spam I ever really cared for is Spam-flavored Spam. Every attempt to spice it up I’ve ever encountered just made things worse.
Officially it’s on hold for another week or two for administrative reasons. The person who handles my vast financial empire is on the road and it’s just not a good time. I’d blame it on the people howling for Hardie … Continue reading
To be fair, DC residents don’t get a lot of practice at parking cars. Just at driving fruitlessly around and around looking for a space.
But here’s congressional delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton giving it the old college try. I think this may be the only Slate piece I ever linked to. I would have thought they were on her side? But I guess everybody likes … Continue reading
Seriously, look it up. Reagan might have escaped the assassination attempt unharmed, except for maybe getting squashed by a Secret Service side of beef, if his limousine hadn’t been so heavily armored. The bullet that got him was deflected into … Continue reading
At least this tiny bit of it. Now if only we can avoid any hard freezes for a while, maybe this little thing will do something this year.
Here’s a pretty good summation of the whole “microaggression” thing we’ve heard so much of in the past few months…
‘Microaggressions’ And ‘Trigger Warnings,’ Meet Real Trauma If your psyche is so fragile you fall apart when someone inadvertently reminds you of “trauma,” especially if that trauma consisted of you overreacting to a self-interpreted racial slur, you need therapy. You … Continue reading
I was cleaning out some old gear the other day, in a tub that had deteriorated to the point where something else had to be done with the contents. Most of it had migrated to other places or been used … Continue reading
The traps I use, marketed under the names Tomcat and T-Rex, are fine for quick kills on large rats but they’re not outstandingly durable.
It has been such a mild winter, with such an early spring, that I haven’t lit the fire in weeks. This morning just before dawn it actually got down slightly below freezing… And rather than going to the trouble of … Continue reading
I played a little banjo myself many years ago, and was also a fan of Martin’s stand-up routines, and was delighted to learn that we had that in common. Except that Martin didn’t ‘play a little banjo.’ He kicked ass. … Continue reading
Over the weekend I spent several hours helping J&H pack for their move, in return for which they gave me first crack at some stuff they didn’t want to keep or move. Much usefulness, including one ‘want.’ J bought this … Continue reading
Some day I need to take myself to a feminist conference. I have no idea what they do there except pass resolutions denouncing all the things that upset them, but clearly that is also entertaining. Seriously, these people are missing … Continue reading
Much as I appreciate receiving spam for products I would have found at least momentarily interesting if you hadn’t spammed me – because that’s extremely rare – was it really necessary to hit me with 20 at once? Uncle Joel: … Continue reading
It’s really cool, largely for that one reason. The rocket would be a big hit at any TRA launch I ever attended, though the method of ignition would never ever be allowed. Oh dear god never. Not even at the … Continue reading
‘Stand for liberty!’ presidential candidate demands of captive audience. The choice of venue was all I needed to know. Liberty University is famously run by Jerry Falwell whose notion of ‘liberty’ has never been similar to mine. He stands for … Continue reading