Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

End of an era…and a paycheck…

The last two horses shipped out Saturday. I did a final shit-shoveling and hauled away last week’s pile, and I’m out of the business. Sigh. Gonna miss those guys. Not to mention the steady employment.

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“Vengeance is mine!” saith the reloader

This is Serenity, the very first inhabited structure on Landlady’s property. It long predates me. In early 2009 Landlady, sick of looking at it, requested that I make it go away. She was non-specific as to how or where. Seemed … Continue reading

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In fairness to the bureaucrats, a flock of Canada Geese can really mess up a lawn.

But Kevin D. Williamson is siding with the enemy. If there is to be a plague of goose poop befouling an American city, it really could not happen to a more fitting municipality than our national capital, … that eternal … Continue reading

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Ever find yourself wondering, “What would Jesus do?”

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Nice try, guys. I don’t think it’s going to work.

Those cattle guys came by on Friday, and yesterday I wandered over to see what they’d been up to… And I guess we’ll find out if they did any good. Doubt it. Curiously, through all this they’ve ignored the original … Continue reading

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All hail diversity, I suppose…

Though I must confess the only Spam I ever really cared for is Spam-flavored Spam. Every attempt to spice it up I’ve ever encountered just made things worse.

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For those wondering what happened to Joel’s Cabin Siding Bleg…

Officially it’s on hold for another week or two for administrative reasons. The person who handles my vast financial empire is on the road and it’s just not a good time. I’d blame it on the people howling for Hardie … Continue reading

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To be fair, DC residents don’t get a lot of practice at parking cars. Just at driving fruitlessly around and around looking for a space.

But here’s congressional delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton giving it the old college try. I think this may be the only Slate piece I ever linked to. I would have thought they were on her side? But I guess everybody likes … Continue reading

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Disaster through Irony: Remember that time John Hinckley missed Ronald Reagan six times?

Seriously, look it up. Reagan might have escaped the assassination attempt unharmed, except for maybe getting squashed by a Secret Service side of beef, if his limousine hadn’t been so heavily armored. The bullet that got him was deflected into … Continue reading

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Making the desert bloom…

At least this tiny bit of it. Now if only we can avoid any hard freezes for a while, maybe this little thing will do something this year.

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Here’s a pretty good summation of the whole “microaggression” thing we’ve heard so much of in the past few months…

‘Microaggressions’ And ‘Trigger Warnings,’ Meet Real Trauma If your psyche is so fragile you fall apart when someone inadvertently reminds you of “trauma,” especially if that trauma consisted of you overreacting to a self-interpreted racial slur, you need therapy. You … Continue reading

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Funny how your priorities change…

I was cleaning out some old gear the other day, in a tub that had deteriorated to the point where something else had to be done with the contents. Most of it had migrated to other places or been used … Continue reading

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On rat traps

The traps I use, marketed under the names Tomcat and T-Rex, are fine for quick kills on large rats but they’re not outstandingly durable.

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I’m such a girly-man…

It has been such a mild winter, with such an early spring, that I haven’t lit the fire in weeks. This morning just before dawn it actually got down slightly below freezing… And rather than going to the trouble of … Continue reading

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Did you know Steve Martin is an excellent bluegrass banjoist?

I played a little banjo myself many years ago, and was also a fan of Martin’s stand-up routines, and was delighted to learn that we had that in common. Except that Martin didn’t ‘play a little banjo.’ He kicked ass. … Continue reading

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From the “people throw away the damndest things” file…

Over the weekend I spent several hours helping J&H pack for their move, in return for which they gave me first crack at some stuff they didn’t want to keep or move. Much usefulness, including one ‘want.’ J bought this … Continue reading

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Also, Bob Fosse routines cause me to experience anxiety.

Some day I need to take myself to a feminist conference. I have no idea what they do there except pass resolutions denouncing all the things that upset them, but clearly that is also entertaining. Seriously, these people are missing … Continue reading

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Private to the bot that advertises the Online Book Club…

Much as I appreciate receiving spam for products I would have found at least momentarily interesting if you hadn’t spammed me – because that’s extremely rare – was it really necessary to hit me with 20 at once? Uncle Joel: … Continue reading

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Oh, how many federal agencies would this thing piss off?

It’s really cool, largely for that one reason. The rocket would be a big hit at any TRA launch I ever attended, though the method of ignition would never ever be allowed. Oh dear god never. Not even at the … Continue reading

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Ted Cruz – ‘Stand for Liberty!’ – and not, apparently, for irony.

‘Stand for liberty!’ presidential candidate demands of captive audience. The choice of venue was all I needed to know. Liberty University is famously run by Jerry Falwell whose notion of ‘liberty’ has never been similar to mine. He stands for … Continue reading

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