Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

“The rolling in shit can stop.”

I’m pleased that Ghost has come to some new normal in the matter of the cattle. Unfortunately it does involve rolling in fresh cowshit and then coming inside to share the experience with me. But at least if he’s chasing … Continue reading

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Googleapis(dot)com is my sworn enemy.

I don’t know what it is, but it’s my enemy just the same. For weeks now, Wildblue has decided that dialup speed is good enough for the likes of me. No, there’s nothing wrong with the modem or the satellite … Continue reading

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So this is how the range wars started?

There’s gonna be another one before long, the way things are going. You remember two weeks ago I said that cattle operation did something witless with their new well pump, and now they’re pumping water all over the ground? I … Continue reading

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Cows prowl at night*

So last night around eight the boys got very interested in going outside. Since that’s about the right time for their last chance to empty the tanks, I thought nothing of it. Until Ghost launched out the door, and I … Continue reading

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Gives me new respect for .22 Shorts.

In the course of a long life I never had opportunity to personally use a “powder-actuated driver”* before yesterday. I’ve seen them before, of course, even seen them used. But I never loaded and whacked one. Now, through a serendipitous … Continue reading

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Being POTUS would drive me crazy.

Seriously, if I had to spend my days on bullshit photo ops, pretending to take seriously the people who are pretending to take me seriously… …I’d just flip completely out one morning and carpet-nuke Liechtenstein or something.

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Okay, that’s humbling…

A cliche’ among us small hobby bloggers is the Tamalanche, in which Tam at View From The Porch links to something you posted and your page views spike briefly into big-boy numbers. It’s a rush. I don’t really know anything … Continue reading

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Consider the humble driver bit…

So this afternoon I was playing with my new cordless drill, putting in some new upper handholds for the loft ladder. The originals weren’t terribly well engineered and had worked loosish, and some groggy morning one was going to pull … Continue reading

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Me so well equipped

Got a care package today! Check it out… Oh, this is gonna get a lot of use this summer. In fact there’s an interior job I got the parts for yesterday that just went to the front of the queue … Continue reading

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I did my part for the Ayn Rand Fan Club yesterday…

Found it on a sale rack at Wal-Mart. A cheap sale rack – somebody in store management apparently didn’t expect to sell them otherwise. Thanks to Ian I’ve already seen the first two installments: I reviewed the first one here, … Continue reading

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Two cows with calves showed up in the yard this morning…

And they lumbered out of the brush just as I was loading the boys to go do an early chore at J&H’s place. Everything stopped while Ghost ran off to explain a few things. To his credit he herded them … Continue reading

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To the person who sent me that Slime tire inflator…

So this afternoon I arrived home later than planned, tired and frazzled and in a very bad mood because I had just learned I was somehow issued an old man’s eyes and then I spent an hour in a crowded … Continue reading

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Posterior Vitreous Detachment…

…is nothing to worry about, according to my offensively-cheerful ophthalmologist, unless it proceeds to a detached retina. Which ‘rarely’ happens. So don’t get all freaked out or anything, Joel. And when it happened to my right eye last month I … Continue reading

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There’s one line you don’t ever cross.

I’m off to the big town today and won’t be back for quite a while. Headlines having failed me, here’s something from a couple of years ago which I cynically put up last night to fill space this morning… There’s … Continue reading

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Yeah, okay, that’s not creepy at all…

And we’re back. Sorry about that, the host took one of its little vacations there for a few hours. Seems fine now, though. At the moment I’m on the lookout for the rodent from hell, which left me a little … Continue reading

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Any freegans out there?

Via Claire, a tale of How to live a middle-class life in New York City on less than $5,000 a year. Chapter One, in which we meet Marie the Freegan Frenchwoman. The opening scene… Marie was mixing basil for pesto … Continue reading

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I have gazed into that abyss myself.

C’mon, you know the feeling. You need to get that wheel off your car and four of the lug nuts cooperated well enough. But the fifth one, hell, somebody must have welded that thing on. And you sweat, and you … Continue reading

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Uncle Joel the beneficent, the gruesome…

A couple of years ago I piled tons of horseshit on a patch of land rumored to belong to the BLM, just because it seemed fair to give back to my great nation’s government as good as I got. After … Continue reading

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Well yer not gonna believe this…

Just got an email… “One thing I’d like to acquire soon is a reasonably good cordless drill.” The one from your Amazon wish list arrived at your mail drop on April 29. Your blog is faster than your mail, sometimes … Continue reading

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If she scores, the universe owes me about twelve brazillion dollars.

Al Sharpton’s daughter sues city for $5M after spraining ankle She learned at the feet of a master. Shakedown artist Al Sharpton’s eldest child wants $5 million from city taxpayers after she fell in the street and sprained her ankle, … Continue reading

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