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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
And we’re back. Actually we seemed to be back last night after the evening storm passed, but that’s life. Went on a trip over the local “roads” to bounce a draft of my proposal for taking over that brush maintenance … Continue reading
Every time we get weather the connection goes all wonky. That’s always been the case and it was much worse back when I depended on the satellite dish. Back then sometimes I lost connection for days. Now I have this … Continue reading
Getting dressed, and over my second cup I’m getting ready to go out for morning chores. Check to see if my belt knife needs a touch-up, and… …are you f’ing kidding me? Monsoon’s been on for what? A week? And … Continue reading
It stormed like crazy yesterday afternoon. Storm came out of the north, which I’ve been kind of hoping for because I wanted to see how fixing the north edge of the roof would finally get the front window to stop … Continue reading
Until recently I’ve had a long and relatively happy relationship with Amazon*. Then I got a smartphone and it all went to hell. Naive and unknowing, I made the mistake of logging on to Amazon with a second device, which … Continue reading
And she assumes she’ll be getting all this largess from…who? Slaves? Or maybe I’m misreading her, and she thinks she’ll marry some sugar daddy then spend her life eating bon-bons because she carries paradise in her crotch? That’s not the … Continue reading
Thanks to a cash infusion from Big Brother I was able to fill all the gasoline cans. Next Monday if all goes well I’ll fill my two empty propane bottles. then I’ll be stylin’. Had a bit of an unexpected … Continue reading
I have grown dependent on Former Weekender Neighbor L in the past two years because she has a washing machine and (especially) a water softener. I can wash my own clothes – actually find it kind of relaxing – but … Continue reading
Most people, upon first moving to the desert, are in for a lot of unpleasant surprises. Even I, who had been in a desert or two before moving to the high desert permanently, had quite a learning curve at first … Continue reading
Which Handgun Is Right for Your Wife Based on Her Favorite Store? If you’re anything like me, you’re tired of reading handgun recommendations that can be summed up as “small and pink.” After all, smaller handguns are harder to control, … Continue reading
Landlady came up this weekend with a pile of swag for Uncle Joel… Get a load of this! I’m a member of the Claire Cabal, and out of the blue a few weeks ago a member there said he was … Continue reading
The few people who visit the Secret Lair immediately notice a major difference between the two rooms: The main room looks improvised and utilitarian, because it is. It was made from salvaged and often unconventional materials by someone who barely … Continue reading
On the first of June I put up the new Lair porch’s structure. Having tired of getting hit in the head with things, I followed through on something that had been on my mind lately and borrowed a hard hat … Continue reading
I don’t know how people who live in places where there’s actual rain put up with it. I really don’t. Water that falls out of the sky and makes everything…wet! Over and over! I’m sorry, that’s just bad design. I … Continue reading
I haven’t made rosemary bread since March, when I was concerned about the woody winter leaves. I was afraid it would be like eating shards of treebark, and that the taste of the herb wouldn’t come through. Now I’m a … Continue reading
Rummaging around in my junk drawer last evening I found a gadget I completely forgot I owned! That’s a cute little pen-like digital Total Dissolved Solids (TDS) meter sold by the company owned by the father of my old neighbor … Continue reading
…and then I’ll study how to clean bird shit off a newly-painted wall. She has been a very busy and diligent mom but she did not like me standing there fiddling with the camera for so long. I’m surprised she’s … Continue reading
Starting on the new 12 volt line from the powershed to the cabin. Needed a short, shallow trench, shouldn’t have been ten minutes’ work. Felt fine yesterday and the first part of this morning, but halfway through this little thing … Continue reading
But our elected leaders are the finest among us! They’re our representatives, our chosen legislators and guides! If they don’t tell us honestly and up front the truth about their personal policies and beliefs as they relate to laws they’ll … Continue reading