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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Okay, look. Enough. Sick of it now.
Every morning for the past three. Never warms up past the mid-forties. It’s still coming down as I type this, so… I don’t know how much we got this morning, I’m going with something over an inch which makes this … Continue reading
Once again, weather and timing…
Cool and very windy today. Early snow, then all day it’s been sometimes sunny and sometimes threatening rain. But always with the wind. I’ve had to burn the woodstove 3 times, which meant I needed to clean out the ashes … Continue reading
D&L Generator Service: The weatherman let me down…
Today was supposed to be sunny and warmish until evening, when we’re due for another 3 days of sloppy weather. Neighbor L has been after me for the past two weeks to help service their generator but we kept having … Continue reading
The telephone rang…
The telephone hardly ever rings. When it does, chances are better than even that there’s an issue somewhere that somebody wants me to lend a hand with. Which means Uncle Joel is about to get off his ass and go … Continue reading
Big scary thunderstorm!
And Tobie did not like it, not one little bit. Showing every sign of stress short of pissing himself, he stayed close to make sure Uncle Joel was safe. And that was when the hail started pounding on the bedroom … Continue reading
Equinox! Again.
Only one person pointed out that Uncle Joel can’t read a calendar, causing the 2024 Spring Equinox to occur twice this year. I was testing you. This time I mean it. The space between the false and true equinoxes has … Continue reading
Okay, so Plan B was unacceptable…
It’s a little small for the purpose anyway, I guess. He would lie in it, under orders and under protest… …but he got right back up the minute I turned around. And when I gave up and put the old … Continue reading
You always hurt the ones you love…
And Tobie has always really loved his bed, a gift from Generous Reader MM. Alas – he has a habit of being kind of hard on the things he loves. Not as destructive as during his Hell Puppy phase, but … Continue reading
Another sloppy day…
According to the forecast the next sighting of the sun has been pushed back to Tuesday, which is not good news. Ian’s batteries are suffering and I’ve turned off his pressure pump and refrigerator. There’s something wrong there, probably in … Continue reading
Wow, we really got snow.
It snowed all afternoon and evening without stop. Started at one, and when I lost the light at 6:30 it was still snowing just as hard. Can’t say for sure how much because we lost a lot to slumping but … Continue reading
We were promised mid-forties and rain…
Instead it’s 32o and… It’s not normally this cold on a January afternoon, though it wouldn’t be that unusual. And I, like an idiot, was thinking of taking up the mudboards just the other day. The older and wiser voices … Continue reading
New Gadget…
I’ve had several problems with the Lair’s gas plumbing in the past few months and more than one involved leaks I didn’t detect with my Mk I nostrils. Since at the moment both the kitchen and bedroom are running on … Continue reading
My good boy…
Just ’cause I think he’s handsome… He’s something over three years old now, maturing fast and therefore a lot easier to live with, and I like him.
Equinox!
It’s officially Spring! Which is always nice, though I always thought assigning the season changes to the equinoxes and solstices was kind of silly in practice. I know control freaks gonna freak over control, and I suppose you have to … Continue reading
I know, I know, I’m not supposed to do this anymore…
I know nothing about what goes on outside my little Gulch and therefore am not qualified to opine on any of it. But virtually nothing is going on here at the Secret Lair except multiple walkies per day, daily emptying … Continue reading
Spoiled Boy
I just ate a pot of chili with chicken in front of Tobie, then got up and washed the pot without giving him any, all in the light of his expectant and then unbelieving gaze. Because… …he didn’t eat his … Continue reading
A Great Day…
Yesterday evening marked a great day here at the Gulch… As the Real Townie Shower came temporarily into service for the first time since late November. Ian’s Cave never gets very cold in winter, being made of lots of concrete … Continue reading
oh my god that took so long…
The rabies vaccination was available from 9 to 1. We got there about 9:30 and the line… …had already doubled up on itself. We were there for well over 3 hours, the line of vehicles ever so slowly creeping forward … Continue reading









































