Drawing Mohammad while getting rolled under the bus…


Y’know, I’ve stayed away from the whole Islam thing for the past nine years. It hasn’t always been easy. But the fact is I’ve always been of two minds on the subject, and the most prevalent of those minds is a lot less negative on the subject than your average neocon Muslim-hater.

In another life I spent time around the Persian Gulf. Most of the people I worked with preferred “Arabian Gulf.” I was in Saudi, Bahrain, the UAE, Oman. A few times I wasn’t entirely sure where the hell I was. I met a LOT of Muslims, and though some of them took their religion as seriously as any Baptist (some didn’t) they were also about that fanatical about it, even in Saudi, where religion is as serious as a heart attack. At no time did anybody swing a scimitar at me and say “convert or die,” okay? In fact, the closest thing to a religion-related incident occurred during an otherwise very pleasant supper in a Shi’ite house where our host was going on about the wonders of Husayn and my American partner thought he was talking about Saddam Hussein and got all hot under the collar. This was very shortly after the first Gulf War. Having read a book before my travels, I knew a Shi’ite was about as likely to serve roast pork as have anything good to say about Saddam, but it wasn’t the time to say so and fortunately my partner held his tongue until I could explain later. Husayn bought the farm almost 1500 years ago, but compared to Muslims the Irish have the memories of mayflies. Muslims can really hold a grudge – I admire that, having a few of my own – but I never met any Muslim who was holding one against me.

Er…granted that was a long time ago. My reception might not be quite as friendly these days. But my point is, in general I’ve got nothing against Muslims. I’d rather they kept their fanatics under better control, but I also don’t deny that there’s been a lot of provocation.

Which doesn’t mean I advocate sitting around while anybody picks on innocent people. Even if they’re not too bright.

Remember Molly Norris? Yeah, she’s the lady who – apparently without thinking things through very carefully – announced May 20 as “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day”. Now I’ve got nothing to say about that, if that’s what you want to do it’s your business and all, but she apparently did this without considering possible repercussions. Like death and stuff.

How she failed to notice what happened the last time a cartoonist pissed off a bunch of Muslims, I truly don’t know. It was in all the papers. But when reality came back from its vacation, instead of following through she bailed on the idea. It does kind of indicate a certain lack of seriousness about the whole thing, but the damage was pretty much done by then.

In June this shithead called for her to be killed, and you might say her life went downhill from there.

Well, it hasn’t gone away. Today I read that Molly Norris has gone underground “on the advice of the FBI.” The Seattle Weekly, the paper she drew for, courageously issued a brief press release in which the publishers said, “Who’s Molly Norris?”

I’m being driven to the belief that religious tolerance, like any other good thing, can be taken too far. This is pissing me off.

No, I won’t join the “%$#@ All Muslims” crowd. But I am definitely wondering where all the sane Muslims are, and why they’re keeping so damned mum. This isn’t happening in Iran, it’s happening in frickin’ Seattle. If you can’t take a joke there, where the hell can you take it?

So I, Joel Simon, Editor-in Chief of TUAK, have decided to declare September 16 TUAK’s “Hermits Drawing Mohammed” Day. Since I can’t draw, I had to improvise.

I won’t tell you where I am, but you’re welcome to look. No, I don’t have FBI or police protection, though I have taken consultation with the security firm of Browning, Garand and Kalashnikov. I’m not a Muslim or a Christian, I celebrate the sacrament of The Three Eshes: Shoot, Shovel, and Shut Up.

So quit picking on cute, dumb city girls and come get a piece of a smelly old hermit. Mssrs. B, G & K assure the public their production will be second to none. Come one, come all.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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9 Responses to Drawing Mohammad while getting rolled under the bus…

  1. Mayberry says:

    Great post. But unless you are posting from a library or something, they can find out where you are. But like you said, you have defences. And I’m pretty sure they’re not going to come disembowel you in the middle of the night for your “infidelity”. Bravo sir, I admire your logic, and your intestinal fortitude.

  2. Pat H. says:

    The real issue is that Molly Norris is a progressive/fascist that believes the government can protect her, therefore she’s anti-self defense rights and not only does not own a gun, she knows nothing about self defense as far as I know.

    Jeff Snyder wrote a series of essays about that some years ago,
    Nation of Cowards, which describes Molly Norris perfectly.

    She’s fobbing off protecting herself, which she refuses to do, on to a surrogate, in this case the same agency which failed to prevent the attacks on 11 September, 2001.

    While I don’t like anyone being threatened by what are, in western culture, savages, morally Molly Norris is as much at fault as that rag head you’ve pictured.

  3. CorbinKale says:

    You know, you may have just hit upon the solution to ‘drawing’ out the radical muslims. The best aspect of your attempt to bait them out to your location is that no innocents will be harmed, no matter what happens. lol

  4. Mayberry says:

    I’ve just posted my own pic of Mohammed. Guess we’ll die together, ha ha…

  5. Joel I would have to echo part of your experiences with Muslims. I grew up next door to a lovely family that treated me like a treasured daughter (they had no females offspring). I had only wonderful times with their kids. I always felt respected and it never crossed my mind that I wasn’t considered an equal to them or their male children or By extension from the rest of their extensive community.

    Sadly over the last 15 years I have lost touch with the family and often wonder what they think, if they would speak of how crazy the world has gotten….not all Muslims are evil woman stoning rat bastard nutbar fanatics. Unfortuately I have had the displeasure of meeting them too and would never care to repeat the experience.

  6. Very nice post. Hope you don’t mind if I copy it to my blog and my face book?

  7. Joel says:

    Mayberry – hardly “intestinal fortitude”. Nobody’s going to come looking for me here, there’s no notoriety in it for them. But you never know – I may get lucky! And now I have access to a nice big backhoe, and won’t have to break my back digging, er, holes.

    PatH – I didn’t say she was smart.

    CorbinKale – “No innocents will be harmed” – LOL! Too true, alas. I have been accused, justly, of many things. Innocence is not among them.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Great Post!

    I may have to join you in your efforts sir!

    -Bubba Man (One of the Bubbas of the Apocalypse)

  9. Anonymous says:

    The good news is that Molly Norris will soon own a gun and probably get a concealed carry permit. The terrorists are converting liberals to conservatives one at a time…

To the stake with the heretic!