He forgot the kukri and/or tomahawk, or – gods help us – the sword.
But seriously, I’ve seen kids show up at militia meetups with 100#+ loadouts that would make Burt Gummer blush and actually try to move fast. Sometimes a wooden leg serves as a good excuse.
H/T to Kevin Wilmeth.
I did see something useful. The tactical toilet paper. Now that I can use.
There’s a reason for carrying one carbine mag high on your weak-side chest, and that’s… uh… not it.
That was the most bizarre part to me; the rest was all ha-ha-I-get-it, but seeing that was like seeing someone use the CD tray on their computer as a coffee cup holder.