I wonder if this is Peak Redneck?

So several years ago I made a couple of signs for the spot where the “road” officially becomes a driveway.


I was quite proud of them. They looked nice when new. And yes, I was aware of the inherent problem with planting wooden posts in the ground here, that you’re just feeding the termites. I planted them in concrete and thought that would be good.

The termites thought it was good too. Last autumn the other post just fell over, eaten right off at ground level. Yes, including the part surrounded by concrete*.

In the meantime I had scrounged some metal fenceposts but by the time I put the old sign on the new post it was getting cold. I leaned it against a juniper and put it off till…


…this morning.

And it occurred to me as I worked that “gnarly old hermit digging in the desert to repair his ‘stay off my lawn’ sign” just might at last qualify as Peak Redneck.

Now if I could just get my big mean-looking dog to stop singing Unchained Melody to random trespassers…

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*And yes, long-time readers, I am aware of the implication of that for the longterm health of my woodshed. I have actually devised a plan for when it inevitably detaches from the ground.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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7 Responses to I wonder if this is Peak Redneck?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Unchained Melody…..that’s a great mental image.

  2. Robert says:

    The signs look rather well done, if you ask me.

    Unchained Melody is a good name for a perimeter-roving guard dog that looks friendly as long as you stay on the other side of the property line.

    From the photo, “dirt” might be more accurate than “yard”.
    I usta live in a semi-arid area; didn’t own or need a lawn mower. One neighbor “planted” his front yard in Astroturf. It had all the appeal of an aluminum Christmas tree.

  3. Old Trainer says:

    Maybe a nice sign sort of based on the US Army style warning about ‘mines’ and ‘unexploded ordnance’ – maybe this???
    https://www.walmart.com/ip/Danger-Unexploded-Ordnance-Metal-Sign-9×12-inch-Vintage-Look/112985698?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101031866

    Just kidding! However it would be fun to see the reactions.

  4. Jean says:

    One of my neighbors has some nice signs that say “No trespassing, I own firearms and a backhoe.”
    On another note, marinating a wood post in used engine oil is said to be very helpful in delaying the dastardly termite beasties. I would not know anything about this if somebody from the goobermint asks.

  5. Ben says:

    Jean, one old-time use for used motor oil WAS to dribble it around termite-vulnerable buildings to discourage the underground critters. If done today, this could make your home a Superfund site.

    Another common use was to oil unpaved roads for dust control.

  6. waepnedmann says:

    Nope.
    Peak Redneck is when a new acquaintance comes over to visit for the first time and you start pulling out your various and assorted firearms to be admired.

    The entry hall serves as a library, so at least they know an educated Redneck is in residence.

To the stake with the heretic!