In which Uncle Joel uses a plastic straw to kill cute animals more efficiently

Y’all remember when I posted a picture of the new bucket trap’s first confirmed kill…

See something wrong with that picture? I did not, and I was standing right there. I set up the bucket right next to that blue plastic tub deliberately, to give mice two routes to destruction. But when the first mouse rolled off to a watery grave it took a bit of revenge: It caused the bottle to skitter over toward the tub allowing a successor to eat peanut butter without climbing on to the jar. And eat peanut butter somebody did, the very next day.

I had in mind a small modification that would prevent this in future, but needed a trip to town first. Being a decent human being and exemplary steward of Our Blessed Mother Gaia, I of course do not normally possess the evil, vicious, murderous, never-sufficiently-damned Plastic Straw.

Not normally. But I make exceptions for situations where I’ve been out-thought by mice.

Having acquired an evil plastic straw (at a local Subway store, and may I saw there were very few protesters there – and plastic straws right out where any child could have grabbed a handful) I hurried to Landlady’s place to do my evil deed. The presence of the straw was like an insidious voice in my mind: “Innocent wild animals! Kill! Kill!”

Two snips with a pair of scissors…

And voilà!

I wish I could claim to have thought up this clever little hack myself, but I didn’t. An Indian guy on Youtube does it this way. 🙂

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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15 Responses to In which Uncle Joel uses a plastic straw to kill cute animals more efficiently

  1. Judy says:

    LOL – Zelda would approve! The only good mouse is a dead one.

  2. terrapod says:

    Good solution, I used two small rubber grommets I had in the bins to hold the rotating part centered by sliding them onto the rod on either side. I do like your use of a plastic rod ir pipe as an axle. I may adopt that as it gives the rodent an easier path to the rolling bait.

  3. ZtZ says:

    What Judy said. YESsss!!! Here’s to Joel’s continued success and a pile of dead rodents.

  4. Kentucky says:

    Out of curiosity . . .

    Since mice are such carriers of foulness, what does one do with the corpses to prevent innocent non-infected mousies from getting the badness? Bury them? While wearing full hazmat gear, facing downwind?

  5. Joel says:

    Throw them out into a bush.

    (Alternate universe version) Then put on armored hazmat suit with internally supplied breathing apparatus and napalm the bush and surrounding area to a radius of 500 meters.

  6. Judy says:

    Joel, in Zelda’s world that is how it is done.

    Zelda, I’m ribbing you a little.

  7. ZtZ says:

    Judy, FOMCL and ROTF
    Kentucky, there is no such thing as innocent, non-infected mousies. They are all carriers of enough diseases to end life on earth and happy to share them. I wish Joel were doing what he described above. Full hazmat gear would be very sensible. Given where he lives and the lack of available potential rescuers it’s frightening to me how casual he is about mousies. But I hope that whatever incurable disease he gets it will be named after him. Cranky Desert Hermit – itis.

  8. Joel says:

    I hope that whatever incurable disease he gets it will be named after him.

    😀 Zelda, it may please you to know that you really have had an effect on the paranoia level around here. A couple of weeks ago Landlady suddenly got a bad case of flu, shortly after we spent all that time breathing through masks while cleaning rat crap out of Ian’s powershed. As you can imagine she did consider the possibility of a connection and took herself to the emergency room to get the actual cause of her condition diagnosed. Was never so happy to have caught the flu.

  9. ZtZ says:

    Hmmmmm… flu shot??? County health departments often offer immunizations free, except for the shingles shot. Pneumonia, tetanus, typhoid, shingles, booster for the diphtheria/whooping cough shot you got as a child, booster for polio. There may be others recommended for where you live. Some people may have a bit of acquired immunity, but why take the chance? Full coverage cheap painter’s suits, nitrile gloves and shoe covers are available at Lowe’s and Home Depot. You take them off outside and leave them. Landlady, wherever you are, so glad for your happy outcome. Given your indoor mouse infestation you might want to bring disinfectants and wear a mask and gloves when you clean anywhere you’ve had mice. And mice aren’t the only danger – any rodent, prairie dogs and birds carry a variety of interesting diseases you wouldn’t like to have. You can’t be too paranoid, especially living in isolation far from medical care.

  10. Kentucky says:

    Nuke ’em from orbit . . . it’s the only way to be sure.

  11. “(Alternate universe version) Then put on armored hazmat suit with internally supplied breathing apparatus and napalm the bush and surrounding area to a radius of 500 meters.”

    Seems like maybe a bit of overkill.

    I mean, it’s not like you’re changing a CFL bulb.

  12. Joel says:

    Zelda, LL got a flu shot this year. And then promptly got the flu. It’s kind of a sore point…

  13. Mark Matis says:

    That seems to be a fairly common occurrence, Joel. Add to that the fact that they are only GUESSING at which strain of flu will make the rounds in a given year, and that the vaccine is worthless if they choose incorrectly. If your situation routinely exposes you to fluphoid Marys, then a flu shot might be worthwhile. On the other hand, if your exposure risk is low… Rug rats are a primary source of disease transmission. Your current situation would make exposure to them unlikely.

  14. ZtZ says:

    If LL got a flu variety not included in this years’ shot that’s really interesting because where did she get exposed? It may be that the contents of Ian’s power shed included a leftover lurking opportunistic flu strain or other virus, but it does take about two weeks for your antibodies to build up after a shot. So glad she was prompt about getting a medical evaluation. BTW the worldwide Spanish flu pandemic of about 1918 killed off almost all of my family. It was so interesting to me when about 20 years ago I got Spanish flu – which is every bit as dangerous now as it was then. Whowouldve thought?? No idea how I was exposed, but there it is.

  15. Will says:

    This one seems to be more effective:

    Various videos show the rotating ones are not 100%, but the magnetic trapdoor bucket trap seems to be near foolproof.

To the stake with the heretic!