It’s kind of a charming custom, when I think about it…

I got a Paratus Day card from Commander Zero yesterday!


Which reminds me this is the third year in a row he has sent one…


He always adds some small appropriate gift for the season, which is appreciated…


Last year he gave me a 20-round Magpul AK mag, which I didn’t even know Magpul made AK mags – and that gift gets used, since it solved a small problem I had with hanging a ‘backup backup’ AK in a place I’ll bet most houses don’t have AKs – which in turn may be very much in the spirit of the holiday.

So he’s done this for me three years in a row, I’m clearly on a Paratus card list, and every year I get to wondering about the obvious question…

“What the hell is Paratus Day?” Seriously, did I miss some extremely viral survivalism meme? Is there a special pastry I should learn to bake? And like a total putz I try to look it up on the internet, right? Because even boomers know to go right for Duckduckgo whenever presented with some social reference that’s sailing over their heads. Paratus is a thing, but Paratus Day seems to be niche strictly for us weirdos.

It’s just a Commander Zero thing, but I still kinda like it. Maybe I should be spreading the cheer. Prepare! Prepare for what, exactly, you ask? Hell, look around. You’ll think of something.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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5 Responses to It’s kind of a charming custom, when I think about it…

  1. Robert says:

    “a pleasant and quiet descent” Aww, what a sweet sentiment. I always thunk CZ was a big softie.
    And he has his own sigil. How cool!

  2. Actually, according to the world famous Paratus FAQ (http://www.commanderzero.com/?page_id=2390):

    What are the traditional Paratus foods?

    Paratus is a gastronomically flexible holiday. You can either do a ‘real’ dinner with your fellow celebrants where the cuisine is whatever you want – pizza, Chinese take-out, home-cooked turkey, whatever – but the more orthodox celebrants will enjoy meals that are exclusively comprised of long-term food and/or homegrown/harvested foods cooked using a non-grid-connected cooking device. Whereas Halloween has candy corn, St Patricks Day has corned beef and cabbage, and Thanksgiving has turkey as traditional food, Paratus supports the notion of ‘do what you can with what you have’. However, anything freeze dried would probably be considered a ‘traditional’ Paratus food. The little marshmallows in Lucky Charms do not count.

  3. Robert says:

    I made Paratus soup of TREET (I detest SPAM) three years past the best-by date, a dented can of beans likewise aged, and some not-quite identified veggies. With sufficient herbs ‘n spices, it was pretty darn good.

    “The little marshmallows in Lucky Charms do not count.” Dammit!

  4. Johan says:

    Because most houses have back up, back up ARs. /sarc.

    We celebrate by cleaning out checking the food storage. The meal is a hearty stew made from all the half servings of meat from the bottom of the freezer and partial bags of dried goods from the corners of the pantry.

  5. Hanging one in the outhouse, Uncle Joel?
    Wouldn’t blame you. My bathroom is indoors, so I just keep a .357 in there. Should get me to my rifle.
    I happen to come from a white-trash background. Bathroom’s the smartest place for an occupant to be, if you’re going to hit a place. They’re either naked, wet, and inattentive, or inattentive & with their pants around their ankles (being interrupted mid-shit is, of course, disconcerting in itself); the main thing is that almost nobody keeps a weapon in the bathroom. Nobody normal, anyway .

To the stake with the heretic!