You know what a one-legged man looks forward to? Yeah – his other leg going lame on him.
Sweartagod it’s true. Day before yesterday my right knee – which is no virgin, it’s had two surgeries and a bad accident involving a big stainless steel pin – just started hurting really bad whenever I bent it. Didn’t hurt to walk on, particularly. Everything was fine when the leg was straight. But getting up and down stairs and in and out of chairs was a bother. And it kept getting worse until by last night I could barely bend it at all. Which made just taking my boot off an exercise in teeth-gritting pain. No obvious swelling or redness or damage, just pain.
Then this morning it’s much better. Not all better by any means, but better. Arthritis? Gout? I don’t know. Maybe I need to think about that ramp after all.
In eerily coincidental mobility news, I got some bad news yesterday about what’s left of the other leg. In the last care package a friend of the blog enclosed a $100 check with the note, “Buy something you want, not something you need.” I’m sorry not to follow that instruction to the letter but my needs and wants tend to blur together.
I don’t really have a way to process a paper check, which is why the Secret Lair has a financial manager – to whom I handed the check, with the request that it be turned into cash and two suggestions as to how the cash should be spent.
One of those suggestions has been followed, and I’m told the Lair is richer by ten pounds of frozen lean pork. My friend attempted to follow the second suggestion, but came back with an irritated text…
OMG They won’t let me buy them (stump socks). “He needs a referral from his doctor and he has to come in and be evaluated and measured for us to order them.” FOR SOCKS. Jesus, how f’ing ridiculous.
Then after some back and forth concerning work-arounds…
I found a store that sells the stump gel socks online. No problem at all, I’m just … infuriated. “Hey, this guy’s missing a leg, so let’s make his life harder. Because bureaucracy.”
Just in case you thought I’d really found a way to be completely free of it…