Sorry, really wasn’t doing well yesterday…

You know what a one-legged man looks forward to? Yeah – his other leg going lame on him.

Sweartagod it’s true. Day before yesterday my right knee – which is no virgin, it’s had two surgeries and a bad accident involving a big stainless steel pin – just started hurting really bad whenever I bent it. Didn’t hurt to walk on, particularly. Everything was fine when the leg was straight. But getting up and down stairs and in and out of chairs was a bother. And it kept getting worse until by last night I could barely bend it at all. Which made just taking my boot off an exercise in teeth-gritting pain. No obvious swelling or redness or damage, just pain.

Then this morning it’s much better. Not all better by any means, but better. Arthritis? Gout? I don’t know. Maybe I need to think about that ramp after all.

In eerily coincidental mobility news, I got some bad news yesterday about what’s left of the other leg. In the last care package a friend of the blog enclosed a $100 check with the note, “Buy something you want, not something you need.” I’m sorry not to follow that instruction to the letter but my needs and wants tend to blur together.

I don’t really have a way to process a paper check, which is why the Secret Lair has a financial manager – to whom I handed the check, with the request that it be turned into cash and two suggestions as to how the cash should be spent.

One of those suggestions has been followed, and I’m told the Lair is richer by ten pounds of frozen lean pork. My friend attempted to follow the second suggestion, but came back with an irritated text…

OMG They won’t let me buy them (stump socks). “He needs a referral from his doctor and he has to come in and be evaluated and measured for us to order them.” FOR SOCKS. Jesus, how f’ing ridiculous.

Then after some back and forth concerning work-arounds…

I found a store that sells the stump gel socks online. No problem at all, I’m just … infuriated. “Hey, this guy’s missing a leg, so let’s make his life harder. Because bureaucracy.”

Just in case you thought I’d really found a way to be completely free of it…


About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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11 Responses to Sorry, really wasn’t doing well yesterday…

  1. Mike says:

    These trials and tribulations sure do add up over time. It looks like the laws of entropy and social entropy have decided to get together and work you over. That issue with the gel sock is really silly. especially since you can by them on Amazon. As for the knee, good luck with that. I hope it’s something minor, but I know that at our age things can escalate quickly.

  2. One thing that helps me with knee problems similar to what you are experiencing is the 8 hr extra strength arthritis version of the standard walmart pain killer. Doesn’t cost a lot and it does help.

  3. Andrew says:

    Maybe you need to put in ramps instead of steps at Casa de Hermit. Would save wear and tear on your knees and be better for LB, too.

    Also, if this continues you might consider raising the height of your bed and chair to where your knee flexes at most around 90 degrees. My wife, who had her left leg almost ripped off by some asswipe while she was motorcycling to work one day, can’t handle low furniture at all. And now that I’m getting old I can’t handle short furniture either.

    Seriously. Put lifts on your bed and your chair. Even 2 inches will help some, 3 to 4 is usually better.

  4. David says:

    I’m currently laid up with tendonitis on one knee, they seem to take turns in going wrong. No problem when it’s bent, or straight, but when I try to move it; agony.

    That should go away with rest (proper rest, not hobbling around extra slowly rest) and anti-inflammatories (ibuprofen, for example).
    In my case, I think they going to inject a load of wd-40 or surgical 3-in-1 tomorrow. Last time it hurt like the devil.

    I hope they don’t have to do it to you as well.

  5. Same B.S. trying to buy a CPAP (basically an overgrown fish tank air pump for sleep apnea) or supplies — face mask, nose pads, etc. You can get the headgear, masks, pads on Amazon now no problem. Try it at a local supply and they won’t even speak to you until the Sleep Study industry gets their 1,500 bucks out of the deal.

    I had a torn meniscus a couple of years ago. The little piece that tore gets in the knee joint and kind of locks it up at inopportune times. Wasn’t so much painful at it was a bit shocking for your leg to suddenly not bend when you told it to. At my age they just removed the piece, but that’s not a big deal when you live in a town with two major hospitals, a huge clinic, and a med school.

    Good luck with yours, whatever it is.

  6. B says:

    At least you have some lean pork….

  7. Judy says:

    As someone with knee problems, walking down a ramp/slope just kills my knees. I want/need steps…shallow steps with a handrail is ideal.

  8. Tennessee Budd says:

    Joel, I still feel the ground through both feet, but one leg doesn’t work well, when it works at all. The knee is more or less for decoration, and it ain’t much to look at; still, they pieced it back together the best they could.
    I hate the days when my good leg (for certain values of good) goes south. I have yet to figure out how to limp on both sides. I run a combination of ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and naproxen, washed down with alcohol. YMMV.
    Best of luck, and I hope it gets easier soon.

  9. vorkosigan says:

    Careful, there Bud, that acetaminophen/ alcohol combination can really screw up your liver, with potentially fatal side effects….ummm unless your just having us on? Naproxen too? hhmmm

  10. jn is correct. every layer of bullshit adds another layer of fees.
    husband has bi-pap. never thought of looking on amazon! now i know, thanks to your coterie.
    pain killer–just got aspercreme with lidocaine for shoulder. high dollar [20+ $] lotion but works much longer than the plain aspercreme.
    the lifts can be found in almost any place with furniture. got some for the sofa. very handy.
    i have some trouble going down ramps. up is okay.
    maybe shallow steps on one side and a ramp on the other.
    good project for the future. none of us are getting any younger or spryer.

  11. Jim Collins says:

    Bastards. I still have about 1 and 3/4. of my original issue feet (bus, not teh diabeetuz). Medical supply place wanted to do all sorts of shit, because some asshole stole my cane. A STICK! Okay, my favorite level of technology save perhaps the knife and fork. Went to Walgreens. No problemo. Ordered another from Amazon. Inherited my old man’s. Got some from friends. Good lookin’ canes!

To the stake with the heretic!