The deer in Texas have changed religion, it seems.

On his way east, Big Brother was attacked by a suicide collider.

Antlerhu Akbar! Or maybe it thought BB insulted its mother.

BB speculates that its method of crossing the road involved closing its eyes and trying to get it over with quickly. But I suspect that if the SPLC hears about this it’ll probably try to get BB charged with a hate crime.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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13 Responses to The deer in Texas have changed religion, it seems.

  1. Robert says:

    “Antlerhu Akbar!” That’s funny!
    I was just reading “The Life and Times of Muhammad” by Sir John Glubb and I found myself saying out loud, “Aloha Snackbar!”.

    My suicide collider had already made it across the road and doubled back. Quite the sight when a deer slides up your windshield… Stupid deer.

    Did BB keep the meat?

  2. Mike says:

    I hope that your Big Bro is OK. I know what it’s like being hit by a dear. Back a decade and a half ago one came out and smacked into the side of my car. The insurance guy wrote it up as being hit by a flying object.

  3. Joel says:

    I doubt it. He still has two days on the road to go – or did, before this.

    Getting a deer in the front clip and possibly (Allah forbid) into the windshield was the most common way of having a deer wreck your car when I was young in Michigan. Doubt it’s changed much since then. But I don’t remember ever hearing of a deer colliding with the side of a car.

  4. Flatbilly says:

    Been hit in the side twice in broad daylight by deer that thought that could fit through the side window. They were wrong, and it sucked more for them than for me. Glad the window was up both times. Would have been quite an adventure otherwise.

    Also worked with a tow truck driver that was towing a car for a couple of German tourists that hit a deer. They were riding in the truck, making polite conversation, when the tow truck clipped another deer. Lots of high speed Germ-glish was spoken as the driver locked the brakes. Driver got out and dispatched the crippled deer with a tire iron, having no other weapon handy. Very quiet the rest of the ride.

    Always wondered how that story was told when they got back to the Fatherland.

  5. Kentucky says:

    Yep, coulda been a lot worse.

    Had a friend who had one come right in thru the windshield of his people van and land, alive and kicking, in his, his wife’s, and their young son’s laps. He said it got pretty exciting there for a couple moments while the tried to steer and stop the vehicle while also keeping the deer from kicking his wife in the face and rearranging his personal parts with its antlers. Said antlers rather complicated the use of the steering wheel. And when he did get the vehicle stopped, the deer jumped back out of the car and ran off. They were hurt worse than it was.

  6. Judy says:

    I have lost count as to how many deer we have hit in Kansas. And ever damn one of them got up and walked off!

  7. bravokilo says:

    We’ve been in Texas for almost 30 years now and very rarely even see a deer.
    Maybe there’s something to that ‘deer whistle’ thing. Maybe the two cars we’ve owned have made a noise they don’t like? Some kinda whistling, keening noise from our clunkers? Or maybe just blasting Rush Limbaugh is enough?

  8. Zelda says:

    Antlerhu Akbar…Yo what a hoot to read that with morning coffee. FOMCL and ROTF

  9. Kentucky says:

    Mike, I’m wondering why St. Peter was in the back seat of that car.

    😉 😉 😉

  10. Robert says:

    Flatbilly: “…dispatched the crippled deer with a tire iron, having no other weapon handy. Very quiet the rest of the ride.” The tourists were wondering how to survive telling the driver they couldn’t pay…

    KY: Groan. Grammar/syntax be important sometime.

  11. polimath says:

    Had a deer hit my truck at the junction of the 1/4 panel and door, couldn’t get out until I put both feet against the door and heaved. Another time a 10-point white tail hit me in a snowstorm and I flew off the road at 60 mph and kept the truck on its wheels but what a ride. Had to drive to a farmer and borrow a rifle, He was glad for the meat. It fed him and his kids that winter. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.
    Gramps killed one with his bare hands once. Broke its neck. Korean war vet.
    Sometimes you can’t tell which way they’ll run. They can bolt in any direction.

  12. Terrapod says:

    Yup, I am in SW Michigan and that pic WAS actually used by a customer up here. Have had many close calls and one that in fact did same as to your BB, hit my fender and critters front teeth put a 3 ft scrape along the side of the car. My subdivision has maybe 10 to 20 of the beasties wandering about seeing we have ravines on 2 sides and a river on the third. Of course hunting is prohibited here so they multiply like crazy. Back when I was commuting 35 miles each way daily, the DOA deer count to the side of the roads was usually 2 or 3 a day from November through April. Car repair shops around here get very busy these next few months.

To the stake with the heretic!