What is it?

My brother has been sending me monthly care packages for several years now. Mostly gifts of canned meat or other things too expensive or just too non-rural for me, like honey or chili sauce but every now and then the box contains something … shall we say whimsical. One time he sent me a Koran, just because he had suddenly acquired one and – I dunno – thought maybe I’d appreciate it more than he did? Don’t remember. This summer, during the hottest month of the year, he gave me a dayglo thermal balaclava I haven’t had opportunity to use just yet.

Anyway – whimsical is nice. This morning I rode to town, found November’s box, and inside there was…

It appears to be basically Spam. Danish Spam. Huh – now I know that exists.

Here’s something new I had to send away for, which kind of pissed me off a little…

This seems to be my year for replacing sink drains. In July I unexpectedly had to replace both of the kitchen sink drains in Ian’s Cave, and that’s when I found out that the single local hardware store only sells cheap plastic ones. Good enough for a sink hardly anyone ever uses, at least as placeholders, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be happy with them in the Lair. So – I had to send Jeff Bezos a buck.

There’s nothing really wrong with the old drain but the strainer has to be screwed down to plug it, and that cross-handle just broke loose from the shaft for no apparent reason leaving me with one plugable sink – ironically the one I don’t usually plug so I had to reverse the way I’ve been washing dishes every day for the past 12 years. An incentive to fix it without my usual procrastination. I’ll go back to procrastinating tomorrow.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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7 Responses to What is it?

  1. Robert says:

    “I’ll go back to procrastinating tomorrow.” Or maybe the day after.

    Knowing that “jamon” is Spanish for “ham”, I immediately thunk Joel has canned Mexican pig. Then I read further. Huh. Not Spanish.
    Google says “jamonilla” is Finnish for “with jamon”. I’m so glad that’s cleared up.

  2. Anonymous says:

    The koran is for target practice, silly.
    (after peeing on it first, of course)

    -champ ferguson

  3. matismf says:

    But that only works, Anonymous, if you at least first bookmark it with bacon strips!

  4. Anonymous says:

    @matismf: why defile good bacon like that? Plus, that would make all that bound toilet paper greasy.

    — jabrwok

  5. RCPete says:

    A websearch says it’s precooked ham. So, Danish pig.

  6. Anonymous says:

    That can is funny as heck to me. The name of the contents is sort of bastardized Spanish, Jamon is ham, and Jamonilla sort of implies “this is kinda a ham product”. 🙂 The ending Illa is common to many foods, frutilla, semilla and so on (strawberry, seed). No clue who came up with the ham with “illa” moniker (oh, yeah, a Dane).

    Hope your neighbors recover quick. Getting old is not for sissies, ask me how I know (have about 10 years on ya).

To the stake with the heretic!