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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Little Bear 2009-2018
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Previous OPSEC Violations
I don’t know why the name Wiggins struck me until I recalled the Tim Conway – Carol Burnett skits from way back. Yup – old enough to remember those.
Hey, I don’t blame the chick for being traumatized. Put yourself in a box and have something shake the crap out of it and I’m be freaked out too.
Uh, yeah, the name is really supposed to be Wiggum. Also you never know, once Landlady gets the idea of a big blue bird as cock of the flock, she may not let it go. Chief Wiggum may live again – in some other bird, of course, we’re not stuffing this one or anything…