Decoding 21st Century Bull(crap)

On Monday I was in the crappy little food market in the crappy little desert town nearest where I live, and I saw a package that I thought was funny and also perplexing…


“What,” I wondered, “could popcorn possibly be based on other than plants?” I took the picture intending to mock the simpleminded word salad, but then I wondered if maybe it means something after all and I’m the clueless one here.

When I make popcorn, I pop it in butter. It’s the only way, other than salting the living hell out of it like I did when I ran the popper in a movie theater I worked at in high school, to give popcorn any taste. And I’d never serve my popcorn to a vegan, because butter isn’t “plant-based.” It would be like serving porkchops to a rabbi. So maybe the package labeling that was silly to me makes perfect sense to a vegan? I’m not sure but that’s my hypothesis.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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8 Responses to Decoding 21st Century Bull(crap)

  1. jed says:

    Nothing there but virtue signaling.

    I remember popcorn made on the stove, using peanut oil. Also drenched in butter. Good stuff, Maynard.

  2. Mike says:

    Pop Zero cooks their popcorn in algae oil that is farmed, and grown in large airtight vats and then pressed for oil. Yum… 🤮

    I’ll stick to my over the stove in a Whirley-Pop popcorn popper with butter and a little salt, thank you very much.

  3. Ben says:

    You should have bought that bag. It could be a collector’s item in the fullness of time.
    https://www.popzeropopcorn.com/password The company seems to be shutting down.

  4. DAN says:

    maybe try poping it in BACON GREASE, been doing that for years & it adds a bit of salt along with bacon taste try it!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I’m with DAN. . .but with the addition of swiping the popcorn through a bowl of avacado/sour cream mixture. Don’t forget to have your favorite brew at hand.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I would have looked at where it’s made. That looks like a ‘made in china’ line.

  7. taminator013 says:

    Decades ago I would do it in a pot with oil at the bottom and then melt butter in a cast iron skillet to pour over it. Then someone bought me a microwave popper that works great. No oil in it, just popcorn. One day I wasn’t paying attention to the butter and it got pretty well browned and foamed up. Dumped the popcorn in a container and used the butter anyway. Man, was that a taste treat. My wife didn’t care for it, though, so now I’ll make a batch for her with melted butter and one for me with browned butter.

  8. Judy says:

    Bacon grease? Browned butter? I’m going to have to give those try.

To the stake with the heretic!