How does one become a “forensic expert?”

Seems easy. Good hours. Allows you to gas on subjects about which you really hilariously know nothing. And you get paid!

While I’m asking questions, where are these supermarkets where I can buy these exotic guns she’s talking about? A whole bunch of FFLs have been lying to me for a very long time.

Finally, and then I’ll let you go,…
Please help clear up my confusion: Is this an assault rifle turned hunting rifle, or a hunting rifle turned assault rifle?

Thanks for your help.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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12 Responses to How does one become a “forensic expert?”

  1. czechsix says:

    It could be either one, but it really depends on whether or not it has the double shot mod, and possibly the 30 round clip feeding 30 magazine.

    It does have the sniper scope though, so I’m leaning towards sniper rifle.

    I stayed at a Holiday Inn. Once.

    Got bedbugs from that too. Bastiches.

  2. Matt says:

    Hmmm, it might be a little to homely to be called a rifle. I think it needs a classification all of its own.

  3. Jay says:

    That’s not a salt rifle, gotta be a pepper rifle…..

  4. Mike says:

    I get embarrassed for them when I listen to that kind of tripe. That kind of ignorance shouldn’t be allowed off the porch.

  5. IM Jones says:

    I’m sorry, I cannot resist, especially as I am a brunette.

    She’s a blonde. 🙂

  6. Sweartagod, there must be some kind of die-press for this sort of thing; it’s hard to imagine cramming that much stoopid into that small a space, without one.

    I saw an interesting meme earlier today; it said “I can’t wait until actual morality and intellectual honesty come around to being the trendy new thing.” Interesting point there–at some point it may become literally the only way not to step on well-trodden ground any more.

    FFS, where do these people come from? I’d say that if they didn’t exist we’d have to invent them, but they freakin’ line themselves up; that fruit hangs so low it’s not even fun any more.

  7. anonymous says:

    Holy crap, I’m gonna go to the grocery store and buy one of those double shot guns myself, they can’t miss cause all them bullets !

    Comedy Gold !

  8. Ben says:

    It’s Fox “news”. ‘Nuff said.

  9. Goober says:

    I honestly thought this was an onion parody when I first saw it. Poes law. It’s really hard to differentiate between stupidity and parody, too.

  10. Goober, I can hardly even read the words “The Onion” any more, without recalling this gold nugget from some old desert hermit cracka:

    I’ve been waiting for years for the staff of The Onion to just throw up their hands and give up trying to keep up with reality. In a world with such absurd people in it, what use is satire?

  11. MJR says:

    After watching this “expert” on Fox I did a little checking. As far as I can tell, Barringer is currently suspended from the practice of law by New Jersey. ‘Nuff said…

  12. MJR says:

    Sorry about the previously posted link. Here is the Disciplinary Review of this “expert” Jennifer Barringer

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