If I can’t have decent coffee, I don’t want to be in your apocalypse.

Regular readers know I’m addicted to one import from cities far, far away…

Trader Joe’s house blend, only whole bean need apply. Normally we keep around three cans in stock here, but with one thing or another we’re down to a single unopened can. Landlady’s bringing another but that’s not for three weeks. It’s time to either open the last can, or…

Hm. Well.

Okay. I pride myself on how carefully I rotate my food stock, but I have to admit that Plan B can (marked “emergency use only”) has been on the shelf a long time. In fact…

er, um…okay, it’s good that we’ve managed, through the continuing generosity of Landlady, to fend off the emergency this long. I put up that single can of store-brand ground coffee against a St. Famine’s Day that never really came. The vacuum seal is intact, it’s probably, er, “fine.” but four years past the best-by date is not a good sign to find on a can of coffee, which unlike canned corn has a definitely finite shelf life.

Ah, well. The sacrifices we must make in the name of inventory management…

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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9 Responses to If I can’t have decent coffee, I don’t want to be in your apocalypse.

  1. Judy says:

    You have my sympathies. There are certain food items that if I can’t have that specific brand; no thank-you, I’ll just do without.

  2. jed says:

    I have, on occassion, succumbed to using store-brand coffee. It delivers caffeine, and I’ve had worse, though not often. Folger’s is better than Kroger, I know that. I’m looking forward to the day when the budget will allow the splurge on better stuff more often.

  3. MamaLiberty says:

    I get whole bean coffee from Amazon in five pound bags. Coffee Bean Direct Poor Man’s Blend Coffee, Medium Roast http://tinyurl.com/y7q334q2
    Only about $6.60 a pound if you subscribe. This is some of the best coffee I’ve ever had. Don’t know what Trader Joe’s coffee might taste like, never had it. No Trader Joes anywhere here. 🙂 But Amazon delivers to my door! 🙂

  4. Edward says:

    Just up the amount in the perk pot by 50% and add a dash of brown sugar, that will overcome any concerns on palate deterioration 😉

  5. Edward says:

    I mean, you did say this was an emergency (and you did not want to dig into your last can of TJ)

    A TJ just opened up in Kalamazoo, first one in relative near distance from me, went to scope it out and had to fight my way through hordes of hippies and college riff raff (kind of the same thing actually). Will go back and look into those 1 LB Belgian chocolate bars, and maybe the coffee.

  6. So 1) I never saw whole beans in a can. I thought they had to be in a bag with the one-way air valve and 2) what Ind of coffee grinder do you use? I grind whole beans sometimes, but with an electric grinder. Doesn’t seem like the kind of gadget for your power system, especially before the upgrade.


  7. Joel says:

    Jerry, the only electric kitchen tool I own is a coffee grinder. I also have a backup electric coffee grinder. And in case of total power failure, I have a backup backup crank coffee grinder. I am prepared to grind coffee.

  8. Ben says:

    “Will go back and look into those 1 LB Belgian chocolate bars, and maybe the coffee.”

    If you are a wine drinker, their $2.99 private branded wines are legendary. We buy by the case. And their brand of high-bran cereal literally keeps me going, and at a fraction of the price for All Bran.

  9. Andrew says:

    Friend of mine swears by Black Rifle Coffee Company, likes all the different beans, and it helps that their commercials (as seen on Youse-tube) are funny as all heck (especially “My Dishwasher is broken.”)

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