I’M RICH!!!

Received this email yesterday, which I’m convinced is totally legit…

Dear Friend.

Good day and God bless you. I feel quite safe and satisfy dealing with you in this charity project. My name is Mrs.Virginia Dumitru a merchant in Romania. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, According to medical experts.

I have decided to give aims to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS $12,000,000, That I have with a finance/Security Company abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations.

I have set aside 25% for you and for your time if you want to help me to collect this Funds and also invest this money.

N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO CONTACT THE ATTORNEY IN NETHERLANDS IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE’S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS NAME AMEN.

Name: [redacted]

Email: [redacted]

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

[redacted]

Ha ha! I will totes “help” the poor lady collect this funds and “dispatched them to charity organizations,” yes sir. I’m off to give all my banking info to an “attorney in the Netherlands!” Nothing bad ever resulted from doing that, I’m quite sure. Then it’s a simple matter of acquiring my private island in the Caribbean – I understand there are some going cheap right now. So long, suckers!

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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4 Responses to I’M RICH!!!

  1. Ben says:

    Take a lesson from Richard Branson and be sure to include a sturdy concrete wine cellar in your building plans for that island. Who knew that he was a prepper?
    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/07/richard-branson-holes-up-in-wine-cellar-as-hurricane-irma-batters-his-home.html

  2. Mark Matis says:

    You mean you STILL have not sent her the info for your ex? Are you secretly still in love or something???
    }:-]

  3. MJR says:

    Hey Joel you could always have a little fun with this guy. Here’s an example:

  4. Zelda says:

    The TED talk MJR referenced is a hoot and there are more. The message Joel got is a lot more creative than the ones I’ve had, which are always from Saudi princes willing to pay me for helping them get money out of their country. Wonder how long it will take for the kids in Estonia, Romania, Azerbaijan, Belarus etc. to give this stuff up. Call me out of touch and old fashioned but I really miss the days when kids were chopping wood, killing and preparing something for dinner, tending livestock and sometimes playing !games! outside instead of using up electricity and Internet time generating this stuff.

To the stake with the heretic!