Once upon a time there was this thing called the “Libertarian Party…”

Sounded great when I was a kid. I mean you’ve got Johnson in the top seat for the Dems and Nixon for the Repubs: Any budding young anarchist is gonna at least look around to see if somebody left any other choices laying on the ground. Right?

Yeah. Problem was I went pretty much straight from “believes everything he was told in Social Studies” to “Bloody-Minded Anarchist.”* So my first question about the Libs was “Why would you campaign to get the top job in an institution you think ought to be abolished?” Of course the answer came clear very swiftly: The Libertarian Party isn’t anarchist, never claimed to be. Back then, at least, they wanted to be kinder, gentler republicans with less welfare and warfare and legal weed. I could agree that those are three steps in the right direction, but what the hell? When you’re resigned to spending life as a political whacko, you may as well go ahead and keep your goals completely unrealistic. I was halfway through my twenties before I stopped training for that spontaneous violent revolution that was going to kick off any day now, so my goals were unrealistic as they come.

Where was I? Oh, yeah! The libs. Yessir, they’ve come a long way. Guess who they nominated as VP.

I asked Weld to swear to me that he wouldn’t screw us. And he did. He seemed sincere.

Gotta give them credit, they’ve got this political process thing down.

Which I suppose is why everyone is shocked! Shocked! To learn that…et cetera…

“The five-shot rifle, that’s a standard military rifle; the problem is if you attach a clip to it so it can fire more shells and if you remove the pin so that it becomes an automatic weapon, and those are independent criminal offenses,” Weld said. “That is when they become, essentially, a weapon of mass destruction. The problem with handguns probably is even worse than the problem of the AR15.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Weld, the former governor of Massachusetts and new single-shot gun-loving VP on the Libertarian ticket.

Yeah. Can’t wait to vote for the Libs. I’m sure they’d be a big improvement.

*There’s a reason for that, but it reads like one of those “I was an abused child” victim stories and I’ll bet you can’t get me drunk enough to tell it. The CliffsNotes version is I Really Hate Bullies. I’ve occasionally speculated that there might be a direct link between antiestablismentarianism and emotional damage.


About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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3 Responses to Once upon a time there was this thing called the “Libertarian Party…”

  1. MamaLiberty says:

    I was actually involved with the LP, before it became a recognized political party. Even held “office” as a county central committee chair after they got the ball rolling.

    I have asked that same question of people like Bergland and Ed Clark… and got the same answer. For a long time I tried to believe they were just being pragmatic and truly meant their pledge to the non-aggression principle. And probably some of them did. By 1980, however, I came to understand that most “Libertarians” were simply nicer politicians. They meant to rule well… but they meant to rule.

    EXIT, stage right… never looked back.

  2. sevesteen says:

    Perfect the enemy of the good. I’d love to have someone who I agree with 99%, but considering recent cycles I’m just glad to have someone to vote for I agree with 50.01%. Considering the level of gun culture remaining in Massachusetts it isn’t surprising he’s an ignoramus on the subject. The key is if he’s corrected, and accepts the correction or doubles down.

  3. John says:

    I appreciate your blog Joel.

    When I was young I was a Republican, because tradition. The Libertarians illuminated taxation for the theft that it is. Spooner put the lie to the ‘social contract’. A blogger illustrated the ‘coercion by proxy’ nature of voting.

    The path leading as close as possible to libertopia looks to these eyes to be a voluntaryist one. But reason tells me Homo sapiens are tribal and predatory. Always felt single issue voters where missing the bigger picture but if the Bill Weld types of the country ever get their way and ‘declaw’ the ‘militia’, I think it is lights out in America. No Seven Samurai in this movie I think.

    I sense it as a psychological tipping point. Hole up in Silicon Valley, I see a populous well on to becoming the ‘Eloi’. A sort of slow decay. Alzheimer’s of the culture or something.

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