Random Gulchy Moments – “Failures in boony life” edition

Drove up the wash to replace that target stand that was falling apart when it was wood…

For some reason I’m pulling all my shots left all of a sudden. Keep meaning to take a paper target to the regular range and figure out if it’s me or what. Probably me: I’m having this optical issue lately where I can see in the distance really well and close up okay with glasses, but right about where my front sight is…not really so much.

Speaking of being a boomer…I’ve got this smartphone, right? Landlady gave it to me: It’s the only way I’m connected out here. Had it for several years now, and the only way I can hear it is with a Bluetooth earpiece. And since cheap ones tend to fall apart quick, I actually have like three earpieces in various stages of decay. And this morning they all simultaneously decided they didn’t want to connect with the phone. No idea why. I rummaged around and found the old headset I bought first when learning about Bluetooth … and wouldn’t you know that works just fine with the phone. So now I don’t think it’s something I’m doing wrong. Confusing.

If I had a VCR, the clock would probably blink 12:00 at all times.

There’s a nice shower at Ian’s place these days, I’ve spoken of it before. It’s heated with propane, in little 20# bottles. And the line between the bottles and the water heater is hundreds of feet long so it’s vitally important not to let one suck dry. So I figured, this would be a good place for a bypass regulator, right?

Uh huh.

Bought one online. Didn’t buy hoses with it, because I already had a perfectly good set of hoses in the powershed. Of course the fittings don’t match. I expected that. The fittings NEVER match.

So Monday I took the regulator and one of the hoses to the hardware to find a connector. They’ve got one of those huge confusing displays, with a million different little brass fittings all nearly alike.

All except the one you need.

If I hadn’t cheaped out, I could now be showering without worry. But noooo…

I also bought Tobie a new collar, a stout one with a handle. He’d previously been wearing a harness, and he didn’t really object to the harness but it didn’t keep him from pulling on the leash. And also it was going to get really hot this summer. So I got him a slip collar*, and also this khaki one with a handle that pretty much serves the same purpose as his harness.

Well, I got it a size too big because he’s still growing. And this morning on the way to the Jeep from Neighbor L’s house, he decided to bypass the Jeep to explore L’s yard. (we were experimenting with expanding his “no leash” privileges.) He let me get close enough to grab the handle on his collar, and then with a deft shake he slipped it off his neck like he’d been practicing that move for weeks.

Tobie lost his “no leash” privileges. And I tightened the collar to the smallest stop, which is still pretty loose.

It’s just about summer, and I don’t really wonder why people so often ask if I was in the army. I wasn’t – I wasn’t in the military at all, lost my leg while suddenly leaving a motorcycle when I was 17, plus my appalling vision probably would have kept me out anyway. And I never wanted to be. But for some reason OD and khaki really are my favorite colors, and people keep sending me camo BDUs for free so I can’t quit them. 🙂

Neighbor D laughs at me over it: I just point out that he always dresses like a cowboy and he was a white-collar Californian before he retired. We’re living the dream, and the dream is a little weird.

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*Called them choke collars when I was young, but I guess that’s problematic now. He quickly learned that he wouldn’t get “slipped” if he’d just stop charging against the damned leash. Amazing how quickly that worked: A shock collar was no help at all.