Things you’re not likely to hear around here…

“This just can’t be happening to me.”

As Kevin Wilmeth correctly points out, ‘Yes it can, Bunky.’

Those are the words of someone in Condition White. … They were not prepared for this emergency, mentally: “[t]his just can’t be happening to me” announces with crystal clarity that the speaker did not really believe it could happen to him at all. They had a tool available (not the most failsafe one, certainly, but still, a tool), but apparently did not even keep it ready for emergency use! Further, they did not keep their heads when they most needed to keep their heads, but rather did the very worst thing they could have done to provoke a predator to give chase.

As to the specific threat of bears, we don’t see a lot of them here. But just last month, thanks to a forest fire to our south, we suddenly found ourselves up to our armpits in bear reports. And some of the bears were criminally impolite.

Imagine this: It’s evening. You’re at home, nothing at all is wrong. You’re doing whatever you do while relaxing at home. Suddenly a six-hundred-pound bear comes through your glass door. What do you do?

A neighbor and casual friend found himself in this exact position last month. What he wished to do was run for his rifle, but he determined that if he did that his best-case scenario was a destructive bear actually in the house with him, something he still had a moment to prevent. So instead he attacked the bear with the weapon he had at hand, a 9mm pistol loaded with hollow points, admittedly not the first choice he’d have made given time. And instead of suffering further damage or becoming a casualty, he drove the bear off. Not an optimum solution, granted – now the neighborhood had a wounded bear to deal with. But it was an imperfect situation. I sure don’t recall hearing anybody criticize the fella afterward. Point is, even in his own home with no reason in this world to expect trouble – except that it’s always around the corner – he wasn’t in Condition White. If ever in the same circumstance, I hope I do as well.

Did I mention the guy who did this wasn’t exactly Conan the Barbarian? Size doesn’t matter. Attitude matters. And staying close to your equalizer.

One thing life in the boonies will teach you is that the wolf is always at the door – or the bear, coyote pack, mountain lion, rattler, lightning strike, flash flood, stranded vehicle, killing freeze, you name it – or at least you’d better behave as if he is, because he might show up at any time. These kids were walking through Grizzly country without so much as OC spray close to hand? Their adult supervisors should be whipped. Contemptible.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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One Response to Things you’re not likely to hear around here…

  1. Tam says:

    Wait, there are people who go around unarmed?

To the stake with the heretic!