TUAK going dark for a while.

A month, maybe six weeks. This is due to technical difficulties, not personal – although I do admit I’m pulling the plug a week or so before I absolutely have to, so maybe kind of personal.

The vast TUAK online empire is powered by an elderly iPhone 6 whose battery has been failing for a year or more and which lately is getting more than a little scary: It heats up till the phone is uncomfortable to hold, and this week it swelled enough to pop the screen right out of the frame. I really shouldn’t have waited this long – the phone needs service bad and no such services are available around here. So it has to go to the Big City for repair and in the meantime there’ll be no Internet (or email, or anything online except a burner phone) at the Secret Lair. I’m out of the blogging business until it comes back, and visits from the BC have been more-or-less monthly lately.

So I’ll be getting my news exclusively from the Jeep radio, which means Sean Hannity in one ear and NPR in the other. My two sides will probably be at open war with one another before the month(ish) is done. I may build a police station and then burn it down.

And that brings me to the ‘personal’ bit…

Man Who Just Reads News And Social Media All Day Unsure Why He’s So Depressed

I honestly don’t know how you guys do it without flipping your collective lid. I’m a frickin’ hermit in the frickin’ desert and even I feel like I need to unplug from all the lunacy for a while, to the small extent I was plugged in to begin with. I don’t fear mobs, I’m not trapped indoors, I only have to put the stupid mask on like once a week and nobody’s going to arrest me or mace me or something if I refuse, I don’t do ‘social media,’ I get along great with all four of my full-time neighbors and regularly go days at a time without seeing anybody: In terms of dealing with outside madness my life is great, and even so the small amount of news I absorb from my laptop is beginning to depress and frighten me. I’m going to take this opportunity to walk in the wilderness and revel in the quiet.

But barring some unforeseen disaster, never out of the question, TUAK will return. And by then I hope to have stories to tell, since the laptop still works fine and I expect to keep writing. Though since my camera is going to the BC with the phone, they won’t be illustrated.

You guys stay well. Deep, calming breaths.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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22 Responses to TUAK going dark for a while.

  1. Jeff Allen says:

    “a frickin’ hermit in the frickin’ desert” has no Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).
    so, like, whenever…

  2. Claire says:

    I will miss you, Joel! And I’m sure many others across your vast media empire will join me in mourning the loss of you and TUAK. Please return soon, but meanwhile enjoy much peace.

    And oh man, do I get what you say about how modern, media-saturated, ever-in-crisis, crazy-thinking life can be too much even for a determined hermit.

  3. Wayne Dygert says:

    Enjoy your quiet time. Must admit I enjoy your posts and will miss them

  4. Bear says:

    What happened to that old digital camera? Dead pixel or two, but should have still been useful.

  5. You will definitely be missed especially since you are a bright spot in my day. I hope you enjoy your time off and will eventually look forward to getting back to TUAK. Hugs to you and TB!

  6. dilligaf says:

    Do not bother taking phone in for repair. They will not do it, they will just be more then happy to sell you a new one.

  7. Teh Terrapod says:

    If your laptop has a SD card reader, you can use the old dedicated camera, take all the pictures you want, then transfer them to the laptop. If your laptop does not have such a slot let me know and I will send you a USB plug in SD and other memory reader. They are dirt cheap and very handy.

    What carrier are you on out there? Verizon, T mobile, Sprint ?

  8. Ben says:

    Dilligaf, Apple lists iPhone 6 battery replacement for $49. You can also get it done at Apple authorized places (Best Buy), or at an infinite number of independent shops. Doubtless, all of those places would rather sell you a new phone.

    AFAIK, all Apple stores are presently closed.

  9. Joe K says:


    Looks like the ipone 6 wont get anymore security updates. Putting any money into that old phone is a losing proposition think about doing a bleg for a newer phone.

  10. czechsix says:

    Well, take care Joel. Come on back when and if you can, and if we don’t hear from you again, stay safe and enjoy life.

  11. SoCoRuss says:

    Joel, you should qualify for the class action suit settlement for the battery. Ck it out online when you can.

  12. TRexDad says:

    Seriously – what provider does your phone run on? – Let us know!

  13. Mark Matis says:

    How are your funds these days? Will you need a tip to be able to afford a decent replacement???

  14. Zelda says:

    I wondered about the lawsuit too, worth checking out. IMHO your batery is in a rather dangerous condition. Please use full PPE around that phone. OK, JK, sort of. What Joe K said about replacing the phone. Looking forward to your return and all the stories. But don’t use that phone and don’t carry it in your pocket. An explosion proof container would be better.

  15. Kentucky says:

    Do what ya gotta do. We’ll wait.


  16. SLee says:

    You and TB enjoy the quiet. We will be here when you get back.

  17. B says:

    I too can help if you need a new phone.

    Let us know

  18. Paul Joat says:

    You did a nice job on the video work on Gun Jesus’s last video.

  19. Congrats to Torso Boy for his guest appearance in Ians latest video

  20. Kentucky says:

    Yep. And he seemed quite calm with the whole thing. 🙂

  21. Anonymous says:

    Hopefully you won’t try to reprise this:


    when you get it running again!

  22. Getting lonesome. Are we there yet?

To the stake with the heretic!