Wow, telephone crisis narrowly avoided…

My whole online life revolves around my smartphone. Since sometime in 2017 I’ve been using a secondhand iPhone that was getting pretty worn out and I was getting worried. Then early last year Big Brother texted me out of the blue and said he was sending me his old iPhone, which was still substantially newer than mine. I said “okay.”

And all was well until this morning, when the phone just bricked for no apparent reason during an update.

When it comes to electronic gadgets I have become the classic clueless old man. Maybe there’s a well-known procedure for getting out of this, and if there is I do hope a Helpful Reader will tell me what the hell it is. But as far as I know right now my newest and best phone is a paperweight.

Ok, no panic, everybody knows my favorite mantra is “Have a Plan B.” And I had a good one – my old iPhone. And it was right here in my desk, in the ammo drawer…

No, it was not. The drawer contained a whole bunch of other spare gadgets – and roughly 50 pounds of pistol ammunition plus a bandolier of AK ammo I forgot I owned – but no spare iPhone. I then proceeded to tear the place apart. The one thing I certainly knew was that I had carefully stored it. Exactly where I had stored it was an increasingly vexing question.

Well, obviously I found it. In what should have been but wasn’t the second place I looked. And while it was charging, I looked at this mess on my floor. Good lord, when it came to my .44 I took hoarding to a very effective level. After the ammo drought ended I spent WAY too much money on ammo for a gun I was planning to replace, and there was absolutely no reason to continue keeping it in a desk drawer.

While I rampaged through the cabin Tobie followed me around with a really concerned look on his face: “Uncle Joel, what the hell are you doing?” But he must have been tapped in to my brain telepathically because as soon as I concluded that I needed alternative storage for the .44 ammo he got that “JEEP RIDE!” look and his rear end started oscillating.

And he was right: I needed an ammo box, and they’re not here. So we drove to Ian’s powershed and found an empty…

…and now I have more space in my ammo drawer.

While all that was going on, the old iPhone had been charging up and the new(er) one continued to show that same “I’m dead now” screen. I can’t even turn it off. So I swapped the SIM card, and am happy to report that Plan B worked. But I do need a new phone. If all goes well the timing on that will work out pretty well, even though I understand they’re pretty expensive.

What I don’t know is – How do people actually buy iPhones?

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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11 Responses to Wow, telephone crisis narrowly avoided…

  1. Ben says:

    Don’t give up on Plan A so soon!

    (From the Internet)
    What to do if your iPhone is bricked?
    (1) Try and Force Restart your iPhone EXACTLY as shown below and see whether that resolves the issue:
    Press and quickly release Volume UP button.
    Press and quickly release Volume DOWN button.
    Press and Hold the SIDE button until an Apple logo appears and then release the Side button (Can take up to 20 seconds.

    If that doesn’t work (and after trying the other suggestions that you are sure to get) mail it off for repair.

  2. mikemcdowell3006 says:

    Tree Mike
    Isn’t it fun, being old enough hide (store) stuff from yourself and then at some random time, for some specific reason find VALUABLE STOOL (good shit)?!?
    I’m 3 years and 2 months older, so I can tell you, with confidence, the answer is a resounding YES!
    Good luck with the fone. I have actually touched smart fones on several occasions (my wife’s), so I am several levels lower on the “how to fix it” scale than you. Just to blow my own horn, I DO know how to text on my flip fone.

  3. Mike says:

    “…the phone just bricked for no apparent reason during an update.”

    Sounds like it’s an IOS 17 issue. Here’s what to do.

  4. Judy says:

    Since my 30-something daughter and I live in the same house, it is her responsibility to keep my smart phone semi-functional.  I have no clue how to set one up, much less fix a problem. I had her turn off all features except for texting and calling. I bought mine through the web site for my carrier, which is Tracfone, because they forced me to upgrade from my 3G flip phone. Good luck!

  5. RCPete says:

    My one and only iPhone quite literally swelled up and died; the battery didn’t burst, but I was able to clear the memory, after which the phone sat in a covered bucket by the burn piles until I could dump it. Damn phone got to 3/8″ thick. Had to hold it up in the air outside to clear it (lousy location for cells; why we count on a landline), since it insisted on having a signal before it would clear the memory.

    I was able to get that iPhone as a refurbed unit from the Tracfone people. The replacement is a low end Samsung smartphone, since I don’t have a happy history with Apple products. (tracfone dot com will get you there.) Looks like they have 12s, 11s, and something called an iPhone SE. Prices ranging from about $200 to $450. Not sure if you have to get a plan, but once you have the phone, you should be able to swap SIM cards.

    (I’m still on a flip phone, but it might be 4G. The Samsung is a separate line because I have something that needs an app that the flip phone doesn’t support. Arggh.)

  6. Anonymous says:

    The new iphone models don’t use a physical SIM, eSIM only. So there goes that convenience.

    The last model with physical SIM is iphone 13, still available new from Apple, unlocked, $600.
    If I was going to buy an iphone, I would go to an Apple store. The other option is through the various carriers, which will be locked to the carrier for a length of time.

  7. TP in SC says:

    I bought a refurbished, unlocked iPhone X off Amazon. About 250.00 and it has been faultless.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I bought a Motorola phone on the Walmart website. It was great. Zero human interaction. Activated online within minutes. I only use the hotspot, camera and sms.
    But then, you need a credit card. A loved one could have that in your hands tomorrow if they drone you.
    In the future, when we say “they droned him”, will there be a way to distinguish goodtouch and badtouch droning?

  9. Anonymous says:

    back market website

  10. Anonymous says:

    The iPhone X was released in November 2017. That’s getting pretty old, especially for battery operated electronics.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I have an I phone 7, battery lasts 2 days.

To the stake with the heretic!