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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Mailing address change
Private to anybody with my maildrop address: It has changed. So before sending anything at all to that address, please drop me a line at the email address found on the Send Joel Stuff page.
Stupid winter…
Today’s supposed to be cooler than yesterday and less overall apocalyptic. It’s off to a great start, but supposedly the dusting of snow is a fake-out and it’ll be mostly sunny. Supposedly.
Miserable gate valves…
The temperature, if not necessarily the weather as a whole*, has moderated a lot in the past week or so. Therefore I really ought to spend some time outdoors figuring out what went wrong with the water. Trouble is, my … Continue reading
Huh. Here’s another ugly Joel video…
They’re popping up everywhere!
Well, now. That is ugly.
Grumble. Temperature fell 10o in an hour. Could barely see to get back from chicken chores in the Jeep. Winter sucks.
Exasperated grunt, and also an unexpected laugh
Most of yesterday was very pleasant here. Then in mid-afternoon the wind came up and I knew the predicted change was arriving. This morning… Warm for the season, but windy and raining and yuck. Of course it isn’t supposed to … Continue reading
No one could be more surprised than me…
…to report that that went well! This is easily the nicest day we’ve seen since Christmas. Full sun, temperature tickling the low fifties, light breeze. I thought I was going to regret not diving into this project yesterday, but that … Continue reading
I may be jinxing this by saying so…
… but it’s almost one in the afternoon and the sun is still shining. The road mud is drying. My driveway is still a quagmire but that’s going to go on for some time since the gully behind the Lair … Continue reading
In the event that you’re an AK operator, operating operationally, …
…you will want to just skip past this. But for the rest of us, this is what the inside of a loaded 75-round drum looks like… As expected, there are approximately 1,789,652 Youtube videos eager to explain how to load … Continue reading
Here’s something kind of amusing…
The Leghorns aren’t babies anymore… …and they’re starting to produce eggs. Small eggs and their production is still sporadic, but I believe I can officially stop buying eggs at the store now… But like all new hens they haven’t gotten … Continue reading
Good news about the Jeep
Looks like I’ll be able to fix it without waiting for mail order. I can get a radiator for about $135 from the local auto parts store, and that and a couple of hoses should set me right. There’s even … Continue reading
My song to the sun
The sky finally lightened enough for me to see what I already knew: No sun today either. And it’s about that time that I realized the sun has left me forever, it has dumped me for another hermit. And I … Continue reading
You know how I’m always harping about the importance of neighbors?
Well… The poor neglected Jeep has had a very small coolant leak since, basically, forever. Ironically, only a few weeks after I actually gave the cooling system a little care and feeding it got a lot less small. The engine … Continue reading
Busy, muddy day.
Landlady and I made a trip out to the county dump today since every garbage can in three households was jammed full. I had left the trailer at Ian’s since he’s got this big wheeled thing I knew had to … Continue reading
(grumble) Stupid Murphy…
So naturally, instead of socking in and snowing as promised, the sky cleared in the evening. Which meant it got kind of cold overnight. This actually would have been good news in a way, since both Landlady and I need … Continue reading
You never know what’s going to happen on Care Package Day.
Landlady came up this afternoon, and since the road is just miles of mud I met her at the gate. Rather to my surprise, since I wasn’t expecting anything but Big Brother’s monthly care package, there was a whole bunch … Continue reading
…and the mud is epic.
Another dreary overcast day. On top of the mud we already had, add a couple hours of hard overnight rain. The main “road” is barely passable in 4wd. I know this because I just this minute got home from town, … Continue reading
Back to morning walkie
I feel as though all I’ve done for months is sit. I’m bored and stiff and getting crankier by the day. But when you’re a broken-down one-legged old reprobate who has already taken some damaging falls in the past couple … Continue reading
Snow load on a desert cabin’s roof, revisited
A year and a half ago when the bedroom addition’s roof went on there was some discussion about the pitch, which is barely noticeable, and how it was going to behave with heavy rain and snow. We’ve really just finished … Continue reading
“You like corruption and incompetence? I’ll show you corruption and incompetence.”
Ah, California. How I don’t miss thee. I’m starting to warm up to the idea of a border wall – just not between here and Mexico. I truly can’t imagine ever being desperate enough to want to escape to California.









































