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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Sorry, gone fishing
Last couple of weeks I’ve been spun up trying to (in some cases literally) keep the wheels on – and worrying about them coming off. Back pain, social stuff, even some family stuff. I have declared today a no-nothing day. … Continue reading
She’s a small doe even for a mulie…
…and at first I thought the animal creeping up behind her was a coyote. But it wasn’t quite that small once it came into the IR flash. I’ve just grown used to looking at pictures of elk, which are to … Continue reading
Bucket Mousetrap Mk. I ready for service
I had an idea for a thing using PVC rather than coathanger wire and I still might build it to see if it works – but I also have a very bad record of ignorantly second-guessing people who know what … Continue reading
You mice are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague.
And this is the cure. We’re having a bit – more than a bit, a lot – of a mouse crisis at Landlady’s house, which is quiet and contained and safely unoccupied for long periods. We catch a few mice … Continue reading
The elk came back, …
And once again hung around the watering trough for quite a while as if they hadn’t a care in the world. It only happens once a week or so, I guess they move around a lot. It’s been a really … Continue reading
Laddie is clicking back and forth, growling at the windows…
…once in a while coming over and staring at me in my chair as if to ask, “How oblivious are you exactly?” I am ignoring him, as usual, though he clearly believes my neglect of simple perimeter security is suicidally … Continue reading
Obscure blogger fails to post, cites lack of content ideas
Story at eleven, followed by extensive CNN roundtable discussion on the dangers of white male recluses and what action should be taken to control them.
Made another shot at the mesa later in the morning…
…and all I can say about that is that a 4WD is pretty much a requirement for getting anything done around here. Most of the time you can get along without it if you’re careful where you go. But when … Continue reading
This is why I shouldn’t even read the news anymore…
I just can’t accept the wisdom of people so oblivious to the irony embedded in their own rhetoric.
Mission not accomplished…
Yesterday evening on the mesa there was a cool, fitful blustery wind and that pretty reliably announces a change in the weather, usually for the worse. So when I finished up I put the boys in the laundry/mud room with … Continue reading
He’s found something he wants to herd, for sure…
I think this has become Laddie’s favorite part of the day. Gods help us all if I change my habits. Laddie sheds constantly, fine little undercoat hairs damn near impossible to sweep up. It’s basically his superpower. So he’s only … Continue reading
Get busy with those chicken costumes, yupsters. The coast is clear.
Good news! Whew! CDC Says You Can Dress Up Your Chicken For Halloween After All It was all a big misunderstanding! According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it’s actually okay to dress up your pet chicken for … Continue reading
Finished Little Bear’s grave, finally…
Neighbor L does the flowers for the dogs she knows about. Lately she gives Boot Hill (which is due for a major upgrade, by the way. Stay tuned.) more maintenance than I do. When I buried LB my back was … Continue reading
Big Bowl of Sauerkraut! Every Single Morning!
It’s good for you! There is an element of off-grid life that under certain circumstances does sometimes seem difficult to distinguish from masochism. My cramping right calf told me all through the first half of the morning climb that I … Continue reading
I for one welcome our new lying bastard overlords.
Also I’m really starting to get a warm place in my heart for Project Veritas. In the video, Rep. Sinema says that Arizonans will “actually shoot you” if you support gun bans in an Arizona campaign. Davidson says that while … Continue reading
Those damned right-wingers and their uncivil talk…
They’re entirely to blame for political violence, always trash-talking the other side… Yeah. Stupid right wingers. Why can’t they be civil and polite like good progressives? Then everything would be perfect – you know, after they died off.
Taz is a sad boy…
I’ve been going up T&S’s mesa twice a day since last Wednesday to take care of their dogs and cats. The dogs spend the days kind of trapped in this very pleasant courtyard surrounded by the (breathtaking; I wish I … Continue reading
My little girls are growing up.
Pullets heading toward maturity eat like maniacs. My little girls are growing visibly larger by the day, their voices are changing out of those high-pitched peeps, and their combs are starting to emerge. Probably be months yet before they start … Continue reading
Your opinions might be perfectly right. They might even be righter than anyone else’s.
But you’ll never promote them by being a self righteous jerk. That’s all I’m saying.
How does a bird eat a snake?
Judging from the evidence, from the head down. Local scavengers normally seem to find roadkill snakes quite a delicacy; they don’t usually stay in place long. But this one has been in T&S’s driveway since last Sunday. It moves around … Continue reading









































