Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

“This business will get out of control.”

“It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” The pictures are funny. The reality – not so much. Those don’t just make me laugh out loud. They hint at a darker truth about straw … Continue reading

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Ah. You know what I like?

I like being done with a dreaded project, everything put away, before it even gets hot.

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Dammit, Monsoon!

I had this great morning post all laid out in my head, involving Gary Larson and the intellectual benefits of insomnia. But when I got out of bed to write my masterpiece down there was so little cell signal the … Continue reading

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Open Letter: Dear Alex at hiketraffic.com…

My god, you suck. You know, amid all the dying philanthropists and embezzling bureaucrats that make up the more entertaining portion of my daily spam, I also (for reasons unfathomable, since I’m transparently not running a conventional business here) get … Continue reading

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I opened the case and immediately got…

…a whiff of magic smoke. Some sort of big green resistor? Anyway. It’s toast. Next one, I won’t leave it plugged in.

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Anybody know anything about Kill-A-Watt failures?

Big Brother sent me that one a few years ago, and he had had it for some years before that so I don’t know how old it is. I kept it in the powershed for occasional use until a few … Continue reading

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And speaking of dogs…

…what do you think about welcoming a new Official TUAK Dog? Long-time readers are familiar with Susan Callaway, our Mama Liberty, and are probably aware that she passed away recently. I held off mentioning it here until the official Price … Continue reading

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And again I didn’t take a picture when I had the chance…

I have some new occasional neighbors, much closer than I’m really comfortable with, right on the next parcel so maybe five or six hundred yards away from the Lair. Not really happy about that, but I guess it is what … Continue reading

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The world goes mad as Joel gloats in his Secret Lair.

No, you can’t come to stay. Santa Barbara Bans Plastic Straws, Authorizes $1,000 Fines and Jail Time for Violators When Seattle became the first major city in the United States to ban plastic straws in September 2017, it carved out … Continue reading

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So naturally I picked the hottest day this month…

Muggy. Just passed a hundred in the shade briefly, which is only like the third time it’s done that this year and the first since the beginning of Monsoon, which means muggy hot. I’ve been in a muck sweat all … Continue reading

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See, days like this are why I dropped out.

Nobody would ever agree to subsidize my ammo in the employment agreement. 😉 h/t

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Busy morning, wet afternoon

A typical monsoon-pattern day yesterday, which for some reason kept things roiled up to where I had next to no cell coverage all day. D&L started a cleaning project that busied them till after lunch, so we went to town … Continue reading

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I’ve been attempting a photo-filled post…

…and it’s just not working this afternoon. Busy morning, didn’t make the Monday water run till after lunch, got back to the desert just in time to race a big storm cell that has pretty much cut off my connection. … Continue reading

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David Hogg – Holding off the reds!

Has David Hogg taken to simply repeating the mantra of the day over and over for the benefit of what he imagines is his teeming and dedicated army of retweeters? I’m guessing. I don’t know. You might be wondering what … Continue reading

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Ladies and gentlemen: The Lightbringer.

“There’s only so much you can eat. There’s only so big a house you can have. There’s only so many nice trips you can take. I mean, it’s enough.” Says the guy flitting around the world getting paid huge sums … Continue reading

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This may turn out to have been a mistake.

For the first several days the new hummingbird feeder’s customer base was limited to one or two green ones and one really aggressive red one that devoted his very life to chasing the green ones away. So actual nectar consumption … Continue reading

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See, this is why you never call the cops.

Police: Man arrested after calling 911 to find out if he had any warrants It’s not what you think. I know, I also assumed that yes, he was indeed wanted for kidnapping that busload of cheerleaders after his amazingly dramatic … Continue reading

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If you say, “Wait. I can build a dozen for what that thing costs…”

…You might be a redneck. I’ve been babysitting a neighbor’s spare AR just lately, because it gets separation anxiety and you know how destructive they can be when they’re upset. With regular care and feeding it’s been well-behaved, hasn’t snuck … Continue reading

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The Next Thing

Regular readers know that last winter cranky old Uncle Joel spent his first reliably comfortable nights since moving to the boonies, thanks to the installation of a Genuine Thermostat-Controlled Propane Space Heater in the new bedroom. Oh, yes, don’t ever … Continue reading

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“No, no. No.”

How to know you might want to look for a different blade instructor…

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