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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Hail hail LED
I did it again! Left that damned powershed light on all night. In the days of 2-battery power storage and CFL lighting, this was a serious and possibly even mortal sin. Now it’s rather more venial, probably worth no more … Continue reading
I wish I knew how to make a .gif file…
…because this would be hilarious. I got a kick out of this – I do believe the Official TUAK Gamecam came within two bull synapses and a bull neuron of being obliterated. I’ve got like 32 frames of this bull … Continue reading
The next election is always the most crucial in history.
Conservatives love to go on about how liberals/progressives keep beating the same old rhetorical drums, never noticing how worn their own drumheads have become. Case in point… [#Nevertrump’s] mission is to destroy Trump, reverse the gains made over the past … Continue reading
Patreon! You guys are going to make me work, huh?
Okay. When I reach $100 per month, I’ll repair the Jeep’s shock absorbers! Landlady will be very surprised and proud. I can do that. Can’t honestly say I’ll get right on it, not all at once, since the shocks’ll cost … Continue reading
Wind damage at the Big Chickenhouse
The one specific thing I was a little afraid the wind would do, the wind did. When the wind gets strong across Landlady’s ridgetop, it blows directly against the front door of the Big Chickenhouse. The door is cheap pressboard … Continue reading
The Secret Lair has died and gone to Michigan…
When I let LB out at 5:30 there was no light – I could tell it had snowed but not how much or whether it was still snowing. It was still snowing. It is still snowing. Big fluffy bundles of … Continue reading
Lots of weather. Winter returns, dammit.
So yesterday we were promised low fifties temps and damaging wind. We got low fifties temp and damaging wind, even down in the hollow… Afternoon saw me out with my brush saw, clearing a big piece of the juniper grove … Continue reading
Congress must disarm all the sane people who didn’t lose their shit and kill a lot of people!
Right, I’m just going to turn the Jeep radio right off for the duration, so I don’t need to hear any more admiring paeans to the clueless schoolchildren currently being bussed around to repeat words placed in their little mouths … Continue reading
Cows are calving…
I set up the game camera next to a well-used cattle trail last week. Turned out to be a mistake in terms of wildlife, but I got hundreds of pictures of cattle placidly strolling back and forth. Including these from … Continue reading
Weatherman says we’ve got one nice day, so I must use it for something not nice.
Yesterday actually wasn’t all that bad, but muddy as hell after Thursday and Friday. This afternoon the wind will come up – in fact that’s already started – and it’s supposed to get wet again. Tomorrow is scheduled for cool … Continue reading
Advice from chicken experts needed.
These are the four ladies I currently have at the Secret Lair. There are nine more just like them, from the same batch, at the Big Chickenhouse at Landlady’s place. Until Autumn these chickens have been exemplary. They don’t fight, … Continue reading
That escalated quickly…
Really didn’t even want to go to town this weekend. I’ve had all the “town” I want to see for a while, to be honest, and I have enough drinking water for another week. But it’s bad practice not to … Continue reading
Clouds went away overnight…
So the morning turned colder, of course. Not real cold, expect it’ll warm up pretty well once the sun comes up. Hopefully the place will dry out enough it’ll make sense to clean the mud off my boots. But right … Continue reading
Still raining…
The mud is worse this morning than yesterday, if that’s possible. Off-and-on light rain. I’m regaining dormant driving skills and haven’t stuck the Jeep anywhere, though it does occasionally proceed sideways. This morning I broke out a piece of kit … Continue reading
Oh, boy. Where’d all this mud come from?
I had this great thought that I could spend the day indoors. I put on my favorite hoody and even broke out this dumb pair of “lounging pants” I brought home from when I cleaned out J&H’s stuff back in … Continue reading
“What’s that sound?”
I’ve been up since 4:30. Woke up trying to identify that constant rushing noise, that didn’t match anything in my head’s catalog of noises-the-cabin-makes. There was the clock ticking, check. Little Bear grumbling in his sleep, got it. But what’s … Continue reading
Okay, so more like nine and a half hours…
Nothing went wrong, in fact it was a relatively stress-free trip. Just took forever is all. I had my eye appointment, which ground on and on, and then we had a 45-minute lull which was just enough for a lightning … Continue reading
I hate this part.
The only bad part about being a hermit? Sometimes you have to step out of the desert, and it’s always a big scary deal. Once in a great while somebody will throw a compliment about how I’m not really afraid … Continue reading









































