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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Poor rifle range…
Actually the backstop is fine. That spot hasn’t washed out since I’ve lived here. The 25-yard range marker even survived. I tried a number of shooting stations here and they all washed away. Finally I just pounded some rebar really … Continue reading
South side, ready for caulk and primer.
Told you that last piece would be the work of minutes. I raced the storm down to the last possible bit of working time yesterday, putting tools away while cringing at thunderclaps. Yesterday I was supposed to have finished the … Continue reading
Rescue party
LB and I were out the door by 5:15 to go belatedly take care of Ghost. He’s a very old dog and there’s no way he held it for seventeen hours, plus he missed supper. I did go out at … Continue reading
I got my plans changed for me…
It’s a little after four and I should have been on my way to tend Ghost and the chickens some time ago. But as the rain tapered off I heard that peculiar rushing noise that only happens when… It didn’t … Continue reading
Almost!
I got a solid six hours in today before the storm. Between baking, building and running over to S&L’s to tend to Ghost’s excretory needs, I almost but not quite finished the rough work on the addition’s south side. Yeah, … Continue reading
Taking care of Ghost again. Good thing I’m not in New York.
Because I don’t have a license. 😀 Pet lovers are barking mad over a little-known city rule that makes dog-sitting illegal in New York. Apparently there’s a new dog-sitting app that’s gotten popular, and somebody in the city gov dusted … Continue reading
Have you ever had a strong negative reaction to something…
…you couldn’t testify you’d ever experienced? I had a weird childhood. Much of it is lost to me, I just blanked it out. In general I know why I’m such a maladjusted mess, but the details are mostly gone. And … Continue reading
Oooh. It’s early, but I may be done for the day.
I really wanted to get the long wall done, but… You know what I didn’t do? (Long-time readers will be shocked! to hear this) I didn’t do my homework. Clearly there are different grades of plywood and pressboard siding, and … Continue reading
Lady, are you sure you’re not, you know…
…intentionally trying to mislead people? That sounds really bad. Things like that aren’t supposed to happen. Right? A person might get to wondering, though, what happened between that first thing and that second thing. America’s courts aren’t above imposing the … Continue reading
I’m only asking because I want to understand…
…how things work in this strange new world. If I walk into a Starbucks, say, and it’s a little dark, and everybody there is holding something but I can’t quite see what they’re holding… How many of them is it … Continue reading
New habits to learn…
So yesterday around five I fed Little Bear, then went out the front door and around the new addition to the chicken yard to tend the ladies. I opened the back door where I’ve been stashing the sunflower seed bin … Continue reading
Holy cow, guys…
For some months I’ve had this weird thing with Paypal: Any time I try to log on it not only crashes Firefox, it crashes the whole damn computer. I don’t know what that’s all about. But what it means is … Continue reading
The Secret Lair is officially a 2-room cabin.
Obviously a lot of trim work* before the doorway is complete, but there is an official doorway where the window used to be. I have violated Little Bear’s safe space in a major and tragic way, and he’ll need some … Continue reading
The Lair’s looking hillbilly now, fer shur.
But not for long. Everything went amazingly, suspiciously smoothly this morning. Took a long time, of course, and now I’m sore and tired and covered with sawdust. But also very excited. The addition is enclosed! And after lunch and a … Continue reading
You kids get off my lawn, and take your dystopia with you.
Here’s a brief, sad, only slightly exaggerated view of the world from an aging man who has fallen out of the habit of carrying a pocket knife. Times Change Out From Under Us And maybe I only see it as … Continue reading
This person probably votes.
I gather numerous people have pointed out the, er, problematic nature of the flick Dunkirk, with its triggering lack of women and people of some color other than white. I’ve a feeling the British troops waiting to be slaughtered on … Continue reading
Front window!
Got a late start because of the Monday morning water run falling on Tuesday this week. Also I questioned the wisdom of starting at all because it looked as if I’d be racing storm clouds. But the clouds held off … Continue reading
Bad news. Terrible news. We’re all gonna die.
Remember when Al Gore said the ice caps would be gone by 2013? You do? Well, forget all that. What the hell is wrong with you people? Aren’t you paying attention? Science! No. Now you should panic over this… Earth … Continue reading
Note to self…
Having installed a new window on the windward side of the cabin, and seeing a big rainstorm coming, you might consider closing the damn window. Wow, we got an early gullywasher. For about 20 minutes beginning around 12:30 it came … Continue reading
Got the rear window in…
And it’s a cautionary tale. It took two and a half tense, sweaty hours and this was the easy one. The other two will require another set of hands. They’re just too heavy and too high off the ground to … Continue reading









































