Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

It’s sounding scary out there, folks…

Use your time wisely to prepare for the continuing Endarkenment because there is no stopping it. Consider this a pause to gather your family, increase your preps, continue training, refine your armory and get ready for the path ahead which … Continue reading

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High Desert Usenet

Unless we’re walking off one of our usual routes, there are particular bushes LB always insists on stopping and nosing around, sometimes for as long as a minute or more. He sniffs them at various places, never hurried, and usually … Continue reading

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Old man, lying in the shade…

Lordy it’s a beautiful day. All sun all the time, mid-seventies, no wind. Perfect. Ghost is spending the week through Thursday. He was out helping me work in the yard earlier.

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Things you’re almost certainly not allowed to do, even if you’re a cop

Maine State Prison bra-removal policy reversed after women visitors object Personally I hide the heroin in my…uh…never mind.

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The Fortress of Attitude, back in business

I’ve been held up by my re-injured shoulder and inclement weather in the form of spring gales. The shoulder still hurts but today was the first really pretty day we’ve had in a couple of weeks, so I needed to … Continue reading

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Private to somebody who emailed me…

John, for some reason my replies keep bouncing. Do you have an alternate email address I can try?

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I need help with something, if you’re interested…

I’ve put off writing this post, because (believe it or not) I really hate blegs. But I’m running into an issue there’s no local way out of. A bit more than two years ago, a Generous Reader turned me on … Continue reading

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Sometimes the song in my head doesn’t let me down.

In the seventies the three greatest voices in country music were Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton, in any order you like. They all worked together often and any time you get two or more of them on a … Continue reading

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Hm. Obama’s Watergate? That would be fun…

I haven’t been following the Trump/antitrump shenanigans with any serious attention for the same reason I don’t know the latest news in the French election. But it’s becoming pretty damned unavoidable even for your friendly neighborhood desert hermit. And wouldn’t … Continue reading

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A chicken on your shoulder can be funny or even heartwarming, but…

…when it jumps up there and then immediately takes a gigantic dump… …it’s neither.

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Dogs and cats, explained

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Okay, that didn’t work…

Upon cleaning out the yard at the Fortress of Attitude I learned that the coop needed a new ramp. The old ramp was improvised from a piece of an old doorframe, wrapped with baling twine. It worked (better than expected) … Continue reading

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Remember, Citizens: It is a federal crime to shout “help, rape,” during your comprehensive physical screening*…

U.S. Airport Pat-Downs Are About to Get More Invasive While few have noticed, U.S. airport security workers long had the option of using five different types of physical pat-downs at the screening line. Now those options have been eliminated and … Continue reading

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Government regulation causes Salmonella in eggs

I just made that up, but it could as easily be true as not, given the confusion about the regulations surrounding commercially-produced eggs. This is a good, brief article on the subject: Why Americans Refrigerate Eggs Hint: Because government. Government-free … Continue reading

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And the winner of the “Embarrassing Ways to Die” competition …the envelope, please…

This guy! Lonely Japanese man who amassed a SIX-TON pile of dirty magazines died when it collapsed on top of him… and his body wasn’t found for six months Now that’s lonely and pathetic.

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Oh, man, that shoulder is singing soprano today…

I overdid it with the spading fork day before yesterday. Didn’t hurt at all at the time, but I sure didn’t sleep well last night. (What is it with torn rotator cuffs, that they mostly bother you when you’re horizontal? … Continue reading

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The closest I’ve come to a winter holster…

Every winter for the past few years I’ve fiddled with a holster on a separate belt, for wearing over my coat. This year, with the help of a belt gifted by longtime reader MJR, I finally sort of got it … Continue reading

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I begin to believe it might be vaguely possible that the NYT isn’t totally in favor of DJT.

Dig this crazy bit of ironic hyperbole… First as a candidate, and now as president, Donald Trump has drawn fire for promising the moon and stars without giving the slightest hint of how he intended to obtain them. In fact, … Continue reading

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When Cap’n Joel retired from piracy he sank his earnings into a chicken farm…

…only to learn that chickens just aren’t crew the way parrots are…

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Tip jar acknowledgements…

In the past couple of weeks two people hit the tip jar, and I tried to acknowledge them privately but both my emails bounced. Maybe it’s a problem on my end, maybe it’s a coincidence, don’t know, but I don’t … Continue reading

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