Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Ha ha! Oh, that’s rich.

Apparently the fourth amendment, a dead letter for you and me, is still supposed to apply for the benefit of the rich’n’famous. Was it legal for the FBI to expand the Weiner email search to target Hillary Clinton’s emails? If … Continue reading

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Milestones in the journey to a hermit’s life: The New Office

That morning, shown his new workspace, Joel got the idea that possibly the boss was sending him a subtle message. It wouldn’t have been so bad, had the building boasted more than one bathroom…

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I went to sleep and awoke in Bizarro America…

Or, “At last! Somebody finds a use for Twitter!” Dare to dream, baby. H/T to Claire. ETA: Biden reacts…

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Remember, Mr. and Mrs. America, as you die of once-curable diseases…

…set your own bones, lance your own boils: 1. Boil ditchwater before drinking. 2. Blood-letting does not actually purge bad humors after all, that was a typo in the last heal-it-yourself booklet and should be disregarded. 3. Obamacare is fine. … Continue reading

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Hey, I’ve seen some California McMansions where this would be a big hit.

Went through a period, in the wreckage of my Mr. Suburban Man period, where I got gas money and (on a good month) helped pay the rent on my borrowed bedroom by delivering food in the evenings*. This was a … Continue reading

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Yes, the jokes write themselves in the New America…

Comey Praises Brave F.B.I. Agents Who Had to Touch Anthony Weiner’s Computer “These agents have performed far and beyond the call of duty,” a visibly angry Comey said. “I know we’re eleven days away from an election and tensions are … Continue reading

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I can’t resist…

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Lots of running around this morning…

D&L mentioned yesterday that they wanted a dump run this morning, so I hitched up the trailer (learning to my pleasure that I can, with effort and a little discomfort, now hitch up the trailer. My shoulder continues to improve, … Continue reading

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You ever notice how the first thing commies do after gaining power…

…is to start bitching about the “free rider problem?” Which wasn’t a problem before they came along? The second thing they do is start shooting people in gulags. Also, any society that would put a putz like Jonathan Gruber in … Continue reading

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5,000 units of coffee infusion administered intravenously, stat.

If you set up your coffee cup and filter, boil water in your teapot, then at the last moment catch yourself about to pour boiling water into your coffee grinder instead of the filter cone… …you might need a cup … Continue reading

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…you might live in the country.

…If you have a .22 pistol target in your front yard… …If you paid far too much for it to support some guy at the local gun show*. And also you happened to be personally upset with a squirrel that … Continue reading

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Uncle Charlie? Is that you?

My first thought was, “I grew up around these guys! These are my uncles, and my “uncles,” and their scary friends!” I laughed a lot. Mechanics enacting Renaissance and Dutch Masters paintings… It’s like Dogs Playing Poker, but with really … Continue reading

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Various updates

Slowly and perhaps not very steadily, my shoulder is improving. I’ll be going along fine when out of the blue something extremely quotidian will happen followed by “OW! AH, [insert vile blasphemy of your choice] what did I do?” Ah, … Continue reading

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All Along the Watchtower…

(This went extremely long. Sorry.) Go read Claire’s latest think piece… The role of the Outlaw in the betterment of society I’ve been sitting here contemplating it – Claire’s riffing off another writer who’s riffing off Dylan’s All Along the … Continue reading

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getcherself to a Wendy’s, quick!

“On second thought let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”

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Attention veterinarians and retired doctors: Employment boom ahead!

Huh. Looks like before long lots of lucky Americans will be just like me. Obama health plan hit by double-digit premium hikes This is an AP story and the writer is contorting with all his skill and might not to … Continue reading

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Most of us do look better with clothes on.

But a Rhode Island man will probably keep that self-evident fact to himself next time… “To all yoga pant wearers, I struggle with my own physicality as I age,” wrote Alan Sorrentino, 63, in the letter published by the Barrington … Continue reading

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…so it doesn’t work at all.

I followed this breathless article about advances made by DARPA and a whole bunch of other people who shouldn’t be in the energy business, throwing other people’s money at a breakthrough in the development of a gadget to make those … Continue reading

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Sorry guys. Learning new lessons, and everything takes too long.

I cannot go back to one-handed hunting and pecking, and even using a mouse left-handed means abandoning muscle memory set over decades. This morning’s challenge: Dish washing. Should be exciting. And by exciting, I mean painful. Yesterday I swallowed my … Continue reading

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Yeah, it’s that kind of day so far. More later, maybe?

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