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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Three Point Nine Seven
And holding. Verizon tried to tempt me into mortal sin yesterday, when the gauge went to zero and stayed there for a while, then suddenly swooped back to 3.97. But I was a gooboy. Kind of miss the Internet. Things … Continue reading
Thermal Mass: A Parable
(Yeah, I typed this offline and then logged on just long enough to squirt it onto the blog) People talk up thermal mass as if it’s the answer to keeping warm in winter. And it certainly has its charms – … Continue reading
Three Point Seven Five, and so I must leave.
The little gauge on the hot spot said 3.75 last time I looked so on a starvation diet of the Internet, being very careful to turn the damned thing off when you’re not using it, one can get by with … Continue reading
Ah.
There’s still a lot of work to do, we’re no way done. But the part that required us to move right frickin’ out is complete, and well done.
Little Bear has been a very sad puppy…
…these past few days, as in his life with stick-in-the-mud ol’ Daddy he has grown to expect his routine to remain more or less dependable. Then when Crazy Daddy showed up and started doing terrible things to LB’s Lair, culminating … Continue reading
Success!
Ah, late monsoon weather. I’d have sworn it was going to rain and drip all afternoon. But the rain stopped and by 2 the sky was clearing. By 3 there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Which is good, because … Continue reading
Dammit!
Well, the weather didn’t cooperate. You’d ask why that matters, since the tiles are being set indoors – and whatever other flaws the Secret Lair may incorporate, the roof does not leak. Yeah, I wondered the same thing, until I … Continue reading
Okay, well, I guess there won’t be photographs after all.
Having left my broken camera’s mem card at Ian’s, I rummaged around in the drawer for another this morning but it doesn’t now contain any pictures so I guess – surprise! – I made a mistake. While scraping thinset I’d … Continue reading
If you want to make LB very, very sad…
Just tell him, “Buddy, the first thing we have to move today is you.” and then do that, and then throw his bed out of the cabin, and then shuffle all the furniture around, and then start doing something bad … Continue reading
I know, I know. We’re drifting apart.
I’m spending very little time online, this will probably continue for…well, until October. Because bandwidth limits somehow become more stringent when you’ve got 4 gig than when you’ve got 750 meg. I dunno: This modern logic, it escapes me. Also … Continue reading
Ah ha! Well! That’s a problem.
It seems, thanks to Big Brother who thought to go look, that my emails are going out just fine: They’re just landing in spam folders thanks to the joelsgulch.com tag. Pee pee. Ca ca. Other expressions of disgust and dissatisfaction … Continue reading
Joel’s never-ending narrative battle against entropy
It’s a cool and cloudy September day, which would have been perfect for cutting wood. Really wish I hadn’t blown myself out doing it yesterday in the sun. Be that as it may I did, so I scheduled today for … Continue reading
Private to correspondents…
I’m beginning to suspect I have an email problem. Since switching email addresses I have sent emails and received emails, but I have never received a response to an email. This makes me suspect there’s a setting I left unswitched. … Continue reading
QoD: “It doesn’t matter what comes out of my mouth” edition
Ladies and Gentlemen, Senator Harry (excuse me, I landed on my head) Reid: “It’s hard to believe in America today an FBI terror suspect not allowed to fly on an airplane can walk into a gun story in Las Vegas, … Continue reading
Joel the Sweaty
So today I went from this… To this… And of course this… And I still didn’t make it to the top. But I’m not going to worry about it for a while. Maybe I’ll get a wild hair and cut … Continue reading
Slo-mo: The best thing that ever happened to gun videos
Busy day today, just how busy I’m not yet sure but I’m currently obsessing over a pile of old splintered wood. Plus there’s a trip to town I probably ought to make even though I don’t want to, and I’m … Continue reading
Gotta slack off on this “Internet” stuff…
It’s September 17 and according to this really cool hotspot I’ve been using for the past two weeks… …I’ve somehow used up 3 gigs of my 4-gig monthly bandwidth limit. I don’t really see how that can be, since the … Continue reading









































