Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Well! That was bracing.

We’re getting our first taste of winter here at the Secret Lair. The sky’s been all socked in, lots of snow flurries. The mud hasn’t frozen hard yet but there’s ice in the puddles. It’s only November so we’re not … Continue reading

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TUAK delayed on account of rain

More heavy overcast this morning, capping a lovely wet weekend. I keep looking over my shoulder to see if Landlady is lurking anywhere. Actually in fairness Saturday was the prettiest day we’ll probably see till May, but it’s a faded … Continue reading

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Today’s Task…

J&H may have sold their house, but J didn’t sell his little Plan D RV trailer. So, today’s task is to move it somewhere else. Simplicity itself! The Jeep may have trouble stopping a heavy load, but it has no … Continue reading

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Terrorists and the lure of collectivism

Like approximately 100% of my countrymen, when I heard about those terrorist attacks in Paris yesterday I immediately jumped to the conclusion “Moslems*.” And of course, reading this morning’s hysterical post-mortems, I was completely right. I don’t know about you, … Continue reading

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New & Improved Wall’O’Pots

The cookware in the Interim Lair was a hodgepodge of stuff, either abandoned there by previous occupants or acquired at the local dollar store. Little of that made the trip to the Secret Lair. Landlady gave me grazing rights to … Continue reading

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My firewood – and possibly my hatchet – is a victim of gun violence!

I was cleaning up inside and around the Lair’s woodstove when I saw this odd-looking thing. It apparently flew off while I was splitting kindling… Pretty sure I know how that happened. In the summer I broke up Ian’s old … Continue reading

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It may not be much, but it’s all mine.

Woke this morning to an email from my older brother with a link to this article, appending it with his own headline: Sentenced to Eight Years in Prison for not having a penis Prosecutors say 25-year-old Gayle Newland went to … Continue reading

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So you’re bouncing down this steep bumpy trail, when suddenly…

The Jeep’s ride changes abruptly. And you look behind you. And you know that heavily-laden trailer you were hauling a minute ago? Oh, yeah. This is great. It’s almost five, the light will be going soon, I’m tired and footsore, … Continue reading

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Other people’s stuff

It is often and truly said that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and I have no doubt that if I took every bit of the stuff I dealt with this morning, buried it in a cave, and came … Continue reading

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How enlightening! Until this very morning, I was completely unaware that Thomas the Tank Engine is problematic.

I just thought it was one of those insipid, boring things you have to sit through when you’ve got a little kid. All that time I was microaggressing against my daughter, and missed the fun of knowing it. By way … Continue reading

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Hey! You! Respect that dog’s authoritah.

Police Probe Alleged Raiders Player’s Taunting Of K-9 At Heinz Field “We were immediately notified about the incident, and we immediately initiated a criminal investigation into the matter. Sheriff’s Office supervisors interviewed witnesses and reviewed video surveillance recordings at Heinz … Continue reading

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That went well…

Just spent three hours over at Former Neighbor J&H’s place with D&L, for the second episode of the “Give All J&H’s Stuff Away” show. L, having been closer to H than I ever was, looked at a lot of this … Continue reading

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I used to rather regret never having gone to college…

When I was in my teens I used to hitchhike for hours to get to Ann Arbor, just so I could hang out at this wonderful, magical place I knew I’d never actually attend. They all seemed so focused, so … Continue reading

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You can tell when the weather’s gonna change…

And especially you can tell when you’re at J&H’s hilltop home. Traded some texts with J this morning concerning stuff that needs to be shipped east, then headed over there to get work done. Everything was fine, simply fine, until … Continue reading

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Things that make you say, “I should just think about other things now.”

The song in my head is Mandolin Wind, which is one of my favorite old Rod Stewarts, except it seems to be about a guy living out on the prairie where winter can kill you, and contains the line “Except … Continue reading

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You’ll have to speak up, I can’t hear you over my tinnitus.

Via the Captain’s Journal, this fine “past hunter and active skeet shooter” skools us on what we don’t need… [W]hat is the actual benefit of making that noise less audible? Is it to avoid hurting the shooter’s ears? Is it … Continue reading

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Warm inside and out…

A fellow likes to have a good supply of the things he depends on. Rarely eat oatmeal in summer, but in winter it’s pretty much a daily thing. And I don’t mean that library paste they sell at the supermarket. … Continue reading

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A celebration of sudden but brief affluence

Was never so happy to get poor again. Went to town this morning, bummed an envelope from D&L, stopped at the post office and paid much money for a skinny little money order, which I then put in the envelope … Continue reading

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The secret life of watchdogs

The boys only have two functions: Pretend to listen respectfully while I expound deep philosophical musings at them, and keep the bad critters at bay. The first duty is purely ceremonial. Except for Ghost’s undoglike tendency to walk away unbidden … Continue reading

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Hm. What an odd sensation…

Do you guys remember when you were kids and were promised some toy, or a trip to Disneyland or something, but it wasn’t going to happen for a month? All that anticipation, delicious and excruciating at the same time, as … Continue reading

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