Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

There’s one line you don’t ever cross.

I’m off to the big town today and won’t be back for quite a while. Headlines having failed me, here’s something from a couple of years ago which I cynically put up last night to fill space this morning… There’s … Continue reading

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Yeah, okay, that’s not creepy at all…

And we’re back. Sorry about that, the host took one of its little vacations there for a few hours. Seems fine now, though. At the moment I’m on the lookout for the rodent from hell, which left me a little … Continue reading

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Any freegans out there?

Via Claire, a tale of How to live a middle-class life in New York City on less than $5,000 a year. Chapter One, in which we meet Marie the Freegan Frenchwoman. The opening scene… Marie was mixing basil for pesto … Continue reading

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I have gazed into that abyss myself.

C’mon, you know the feeling. You need to get that wheel off your car and four of the lug nuts cooperated well enough. But the fifth one, hell, somebody must have welded that thing on. And you sweat, and you … Continue reading

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Uncle Joel the beneficent, the gruesome…

A couple of years ago I piled tons of horseshit on a patch of land rumored to belong to the BLM, just because it seemed fair to give back to my great nation’s government as good as I got. After … Continue reading

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Well yer not gonna believe this…

Just got an email… “One thing I’d like to acquire soon is a reasonably good cordless drill.” The one from your Amazon wish list arrived at your mail drop on April 29. Your blog is faster than your mail, sometimes … Continue reading

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If she scores, the universe owes me about twelve brazillion dollars.

Al Sharpton’s daughter sues city for $5M after spraining ankle She learned at the feet of a master. Shakedown artist Al Sharpton’s eldest child wants $5 million from city taxpayers after she fell in the street and sprained her ankle, … Continue reading

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Earned my tuna sandwich for the day…

So yesterday there was this big spring windstorm, right? And I did what I’m paid to do, wandered over to J&H’s former hacienda to make sure everything’s still bolted down. Which, as it happens, it wasn’t. J built a greenhouse, … Continue reading

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Some days more than others…

I need one of these. 🙂

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The Door Into Acceptable Weather

Robert Heinlein opens his novel The Door Into Summer* with a vignette about a cat that refuses to believe it’s winter outside until it has satisfied itself that the weather outside every exterior door in the house is winter – … Continue reading

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Help me, Obi-Wan Pressurecooker. You’re my only hope.

What a ridiculous day. Six weeks, even a month ago this weather would have made sense. My satellite connection has degenerated from Glacial to Why Are You Still Sitting There? With the winter bedding, heavy clothes and all the woodstove … Continue reading

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Maybe I’ll just knit a better dog.

That’s from 20 minutes’ work on one-half of Little Bear. His undercoat is coming out in chunks and he really needs to be brushed at least once a day, but he hates it and has learned that once he’s under … Continue reading

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Working myself out of a job…

Yeah, go ahead and have a good guffaw. Uncle Joel is cleaning stuff…like that ever works out well… Somebody said, ‘if my job gets taken by a black box, I’ll get a job making black boxes.’ The horses are gone … Continue reading

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Our new squatters…

A heavy preponderance of calves including recently-weaned steers. A lot of these little ones are still sucking.

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“Did you chase those bad cattle? Did you bark and bark? Yes you did! Yes you did!

Okay, I’m not really encouraging this – in fact I’m doing everything in my power to discourage it. But let’s face facts here: I’m just happy he came home afterward without coercion. The Lair snuggles into the crotch of a … Continue reading

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Painful incrementalism

A favorable court decision from Ohio, concerning open carry… The police eventually arrived, ordered Northrup to stop, demanded that he turn over the gun, handcuffed him, and kept him handcuffed in a police car for 30 minutes. Eventually, they let … Continue reading

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Swell. I’m in a Joel McCrea movie.

I was one of the indians watching from that mesa over there. No lines, no camera time, but “I know they’re out there.”

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Hey, it’s just the dance of the low-sloping foreheads* anyway…

Sorry about that. Yesterday was a gray day, and Wildblue is messing with me so I need to exercise extreme patience if I want anything to happen. Today has dawned sunny and not very windy – so far – and … Continue reading

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When you keep having the same problem over and over, no matter where you go…

…it’s possible the problem is you. George Zimmerman injured in Florida shooting: police Been around guns most of my life. Competed in the late seventies and early eighties. You know how many ‘shooting incidents’ I’ve been involved with? Zero. My … Continue reading

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You know the best thing about poverty?

The pleasure you get from moments of plenty. I’ve spoken before about my Scrooge McDuck moments. They’re really quite pleasant, in a possibly-sinful way. This morning I cleaned and prepped 200 .44 cases, which I can fill with primers, powder … Continue reading

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