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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Oh, let’s just put some randomly-chosen school children in charge of the government.
It would be cheaper, and I can’t see how the results would differ. Two pull quotes from an article I couldn’t even bring myself to finish… The White House’s outrage over Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s plan to speak before Congress … Continue reading
I sympathize with my own cause but question my technique.
My anti-mouse experiment needs work. I put four traps under the hood last night, got two confirmed kills and two missing traps. Searched till my fingers were freezing and couldn’t find them anywhere. Also got a third packrat in the … Continue reading
Granddatter’s First Rifle!
After all, she’ll turn four this year. Woke to an email from daughter, announcing that Ari the Husband had decided he was sick of waiting. No word on Kaelyn’s reaction, but I’d be surprised if she’s not cool with it. … Continue reading
Come one, come all…
I’ve genuinely lost track of how many packrats I’ve killed in the little space between the Lair and the woodshed. Got another last night which makes at least six… And every time I put a mouse trap under the Jeep’s … Continue reading
America’s Mystery Miracle Meat!
Courtesy of commenter MR, The history of Spam! Complete with recipes! I didn’t know the bit about its part in WWII (“It’s why war is hell.”) but am not surprised that Spam has recently become a part of ironic hipster … Continue reading
Says here I’m not poor…
No, indeed. I “feel a responsibility to choose another path that is as life-affirming and as sustainable as [I] can make it while still remaining connected and participating in [my] native culture.” Get a load of this shite. Voluntary Poverty … Continue reading
In an episode of my ongoing dispute with Ghost over who owns the Lair’s only chair…
I bought him a bed while I was in town. And then I put his blanket in the bed, so it would smell right.He’s not convinced.He’s not entirely unconvinced…Well…okay. For now. I got back home just in time for the … Continue reading
Not actually calling for a fatwa against Ian here…
I personally think a simple whipping would be sufficient. But then I’m a moderate M1A shooter. Also, anyone who’d hang that much rail farm on an M1A is clearly an apostate from the true Church of the Immaculate M1A*, and … Continue reading
Off to the Big Town…
My neighbors D&L go to the big town about 50 miles away once or twice a month, and normally I just give them money and get them to pick up my glaucoma meds. More and more I find the experience … Continue reading
Mess not with Uncle Joel…
For lo, he is annoyed with your entire species. The War on Rodents marches on. That’s the second from the powershed, for eleven in total. Gone are the days when I thought these things had substantial non-negotiable territories and that … Continue reading
All righty, then…
The etymology of the word Derp is beyond my means or interest to track down. I believe the person responsible for applying it to gun accessories is Tam, though I can’t defend the opinion. Nor am I prepared to offer … Continue reading
Every silver lining has a cloud…
An absolutely gorgeous day today. It’s already mid-fifties at noon and there’s talk of sixty. Which makes it a great day for light-hearted off-grid hijinks, like… Neighbors D&L have this incredibly high-tech wood stove. I have never figured out the … Continue reading
Hey, cool.
Spent some time in the reloading shack yesterday afternoon, and have to say – Cool! There were 170 once-fired .44 Special cases in that care package! The box of bullets is valuable, thank you very much, but the cases are … Continue reading
Technically it’s not a luxury item, it’s just a more upscale tool.
I got care packages today! A generous contributor sent me an email a few weeks ago saying that in cleaning out his reloading shack recently he came upon some .44 Special components he didn’t need, and today they found their … Continue reading
“I sympathize with Ahab’s cause, but question his technique.”
There’s a discussion shaping up at Claire’s place over two wildly disparate interpretations of that I-594 demonstration in Washington last week. Personally I can’t wholeheartedly sign on to either view. I disagree with one side’s compromise and the other side’s … Continue reading
Um…yes?
It’s possible Caleb meant the question ironically, though in context he sounds serious… Yes. If the law is idiotic, and it’s in your way and you find it obnoxious, then the proverb for the day is “Screw’em if they can’t … Continue reading
Gorgeous day…
Second in a row! The mud is drying! Tellya what, since this winter I seem to have kicked the chimney fire phobia that plagued me for the past two seasons, I like it clear and cool. I’m charging through my … Continue reading
Wait, what? Holder did this? ERIC Holder?
Stop messing with my head. Holder limits seized-asset sharing process that split billions with local, state police Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. on Friday barred local and state police from using federal law to seize cash, cars and other … Continue reading
Too many midichlorians in his diet, perhaps?
As if millions of brain cells cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced… An Irish actor best known for portraying an American vigilante murderer, commenting on an Islamic terror attack in France (where even the police are unarmed), decides … Continue reading
Score!
He/she came to the well one too many times. Both underhood traps had victims this frosty morning. Also, I keep getting kills in the corridor between the Lair and the woodshed. Fully half my dead rats come from the trap … Continue reading









































