Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

She lives!

The Rhode Island Red pullet I’d given up for dead is alive and well and living in a juniper thicket across the ditch from the chicken coop. And refusing to let me within ten feet of her. The net’s hopeless: … Continue reading

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So Saturday there was carnage in the chicken coop.

(Sunday too, but we already talked about that.) The Saturday carnage differed in that it was planned. Two of the Brahmas went to meet Chicken Jesus, their fates having been determined more than a week earlier: “If you off them, … Continue reading

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The GOP: Still Stupid Today.

What’s the definition of crazy again? Which Side Are You On? If you don’t care whether Republicans win, care that Democrats lose. …though I reject the notion that Mitt Romney wasn’t good enough for true-believing conservatives, let’s say, arguendo, that … Continue reading

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Obey your President.

Don’t put it off any longer: #GetCoveredNow. http://t.co/Zgg49sTKe6 The deadline is March 31st. — Barack Obama (@BarackObama) March 30, 2014 You wouldn’t want to disappoint your President, though it says here you may have difficulty refraining from doing so. Also, … Continue reading

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It’s like Days of our Lives meets Green Acres around here.

To quickly sum up: Friday evening, Landlady brought five Rhode Island Red pullets to the Fortress of Attitude. By Sunday morning one was dead, one missing and presumed dead, and the remaining three were so traumatized they decided en masse … Continue reading

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Update on the missing children…

Two of three have returned to the fold. Considering the condition of the second one I no longer have a lot of hope for the third. The wound is bloody but not life-threatening unless her sisters peck her to death. … Continue reading

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Three of my little girls ran away from home!

Well, we’re certainly proof-testing the wire on the Fortress of Attitude. I was out at my garden spot working on the fencing when I heard the chicks crying for mercy; Littlest Hen has taken it upon herself to chase them … Continue reading

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Thanks for the donation!

Somebody just dropped $30 in TUAK’s tip jar. Appreciate it, I’ve been wondering how I’m going to pay the Internet man when he shows up.

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QoD – “Baby baby it’s a wild world” edition

“The judge told me that if I would have made them aware of the law before he made his ruling he would have dismissed the ticket, but since he already made his ruling, the only way to overturn it was … Continue reading

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And then there were more chickens…

It’s been a stressful day for chickens around here. UPDATE: Went out to close up the coop around 7:30. Found one chick sound asleep all alone at the Fortress’s gate. Picked her up (which she did NOT appreciate) and carried … Continue reading

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If he were going to have a headstone it would probably read…

“He was a sucker for sunflower seeds.” There’s a problem I didn’t anticipate about catching chickens with a fishing net: They seem to have an instinctive aversion to them. I can enter a chicken yard filled with birds that could … Continue reading

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Joel’s Dysfunctional Garden, Pt. 2

Boy, it’s been windy the past couple of days. Not quite as bad today as yesterday but not quite as warm, either. Still, I want to get this done. Yesterday I tore apart a neighbor’s old porch. Most of the … Continue reading

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“Gah! How horrible!”

I was wasting time in front of the ‘pooter when apropos of nothing I came on this photo… …and at the sight of that street I practically flung myself back from the desk. “Ah!” It was the nastiest thing I’ve … Continue reading

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I got nothing but wind damage…

They’re saying we had 65 mph gusts yesterday. Not as bad here in the hollow where my minions and I keep the Secret Lair, but bad enough to have thrown some unlikely things around. All those snippets of rigid insulation … Continue reading

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Look who’s back!

My ol’ buddy Comet’s here! And he seems, er, relatively glad to see me. Actually he didn’t act like he was all that happy about it, so I didn’t insist on renewing our acquaintance. He’ll be three next month and … Continue reading

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That would mean the Mandarin classes would have to stop, though.

On the sidebar of this WSJ page I have open, I can see five and a half articles I could click on if I were that bored. (Five most colorful navel lint balls!) Three of them have to do with … Continue reading

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It has been said, only partly in jest…

That for a chicken to be given a name on TUAK never works out well for the chicken. So far the only exception to that is Agnes the Red, and that was a close thing. I’ve decided to name him … Continue reading

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I should implant a camera in my forehead or something…

Wanna watch Ghost take off like he’s two years old again? So do the pair of ravens who are hanging around outside. Ghost either hates ravens or just enjoys chasing them around, I’ve never known which. But he will launch … Continue reading

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Shit-shoveling day in more than one way

Monday morning – shit-shoveling day. I got a call early from D wanting to know if I wanted to go to town with them today. I said I certainly did, but it was dependent on whether I got paid. Monday … Continue reading

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When I was in business headcount reductions almost never involved actual severed heads, but…

…In this case I could get into that. Got an email from Landlady a few days ago, saying she wanted to reduce the Brahma flock by two this coming weekend. I said okay. She said one hen and one cock. … Continue reading

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