Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

“How old are you, Uncle Joel?”

I’m old enough to remember when the presidential campaign started in the same year as the election.

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The Foxinator

The Adaptive Curmudgeon has cooler stories than I do. Or at least funnier. “Right between the eyes? Perfect!” Hmm… This seemed to bear attention. More words from the other end. Mrs. Curmudgeon replied excitedly. “You dropped him where? … What? … Continue reading

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Release the Hounds! A Comedy of Manners

Tourists get on my nerves, but most of them have simple manners. I’m currently on the lookout for an exception. It was a quiet afternoon and I was nodding over my book, thinking of going up the ladder for a … Continue reading

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Usually America does it the other way around, but…

This time we lost the war but may be slowly winning the peace.

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Koch Brothers’ house located!

Heh. In a secure communication from my hidden Secret Lair I have assured them I’ll keep the exact location to myself, in exchange for…

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Little pockets of crazy, hidden here and there

Got an email from a friend, “Some links about a guy as crazy as us.” And the first link turned out to be this youtube vid that’s been going around about a guy who claims to have built a cold … Continue reading

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How much is habit and how much physical need, he refuses to say.

For all his vaunted independence and his demonstrated preference for spending weekends elsewhere, Ghost is still a dog. And dogs are froods who like to know where their towel is. Ever since he moved in with me, Ghost has always … Continue reading

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Ol’ Photographer Joel blows it

Remember that little prepping fail I mentioned over the weekend? Well, yesterday at the big town I was in Lowe’s with D&L, where to my pleased surprise they sell battery clamps. So I dug out my soldering iron this afternoon … Continue reading

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This is frickin’ amazing!

Just got back from shit-shoveling. Two days after lens-replacement surgery on my left eye, which has been my good one for several years. The result of surgery on the right eye was a definite but not gob-smacking improvement. The cataract … Continue reading

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In fairness to the wimp, Himalayans are to housecats as Chuck Norris is to humans.

And a cat once gave me a wound that took months to heal. Crushed the cartilage in the joint of my thumb right through a welding glove, and believe me it didn’t feel minor at the time. So yeah, Puddytat … Continue reading

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Acclimation…

Woke this morning to 23o outdoor temps, which is rather chilly by the standards of the past couple of weeks. And as I reached for the down vest and kindling I laughed at myself, because two months ago this would … Continue reading

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Owie! Sending good thoughts to Bear…

Who’s hobbling around on a blown-out knee these days. And thinks I’m all stiff-upper-lip macho and stuff. Hey, I’ve got forty-odd years practice in hobbling, Bear. And you’ve heard how piteously I whine when frozen water falls from the sky, … Continue reading

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Flash: Diane Feinstein is a fourth-amendment whacko!

…all of a sudden… Feinstein has sent a letter to the CIA asking by what authority are they claiming to be able to search the Senate committee’s computers. They have not responded. She has “grave concerns” the search violated the … Continue reading

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This is an interesting experience…

You know how sometimes a poorly-maintained tool’s performance degrades so gradually you don’t notice until there’s a chance to compare it to that of a better one? I’m going through that right now with the eyes in my head, and … Continue reading

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Gotta go…

Early-morning follow-up to yesterday’s eyeball sculpting, and this time I won’t get back so early. Following that, I’m already a day behind on shit-shoveling. So I don’t know when I’ll get to play with the ‘pooter. In the meantime, here … Continue reading

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And now I wait and see.

Well…maybe not see exactly… With new lenses in both eyes, I should actually be able to use both at once instead of only one or the other. I’m I was so myopic that after the first lens replacement my eyes … Continue reading

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I’m off to pay somebody thousands of dollars to drive sharp objects into my remaining eye.

What could possibly go wrong? Stay tuned…

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Okay! So…test your preps, then. Got it.

Extremely Generous Reader Frederick sent me a tire inflator I’ve wanted to buy for myself for quite some time… Upon opening the box I learned that it comes with a nifty nylon case, so it really will be practical to … Continue reading

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Dharma went home.

Hours ago. Ghost is still recovering. He loves it when Mom comes for a weekend. He loves it so much he’ll even put up with Dharma the Really Obnoxiously Hyperactive Pup for the chance to spend the night at her … Continue reading

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Hokey politicians and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Question for the Geriatric Old Party faithful: If Charlton Heston demonstrated how edgy and up-against-the-wall he was by posing with a flintlock… And Mitch McConnell demonstrated…whatever he was trying to demonstrate by posing with a caplock… …will some small(er)-government geezer … Continue reading

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