Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Have a nice day…

A nicer day than this one’s shaping up to be, anyway. The weather outside turned frightful around two yesterday afternoon and hasn’t changed a bit since. In short, a typical day in Washington. But we’re not in Washington, and they’re … Continue reading

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First flash flood of the year!

No trips to town today, boyo! That third photo is only about a third of the wash’s width; it’s basically my driveway, or was an hour ago. Heaven only knows what it’ll be like after the flood passes. I can … Continue reading

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What is this Little Bear I don’t even…

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On Belt Kibble

I often laugh at myself over my belt kibble… I’m constantly fiddling with it. Sometimes there’s a flashlight, sometimes I leave the light in my pocket, sometimes (until I get caught without one) I forgo the flash entirely. Do I … Continue reading

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It’s already starting to get to me…

Every summer, especially after the commencement of Monsoon, the flying bugs come out. And I’ve always found it interesting that every summer one particular sort of bug is predominant, but rarely the same sort of bug two summers in a … Continue reading

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Every evil overlord needs minions…

or: More Things You Probably Shouldn’t Do With Twinkies 8D Care of my daughter…

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Can we stop talking about this now? Please?

George Zimmerman found not guilty of murder in Trayvon Martin’s death Good. I strongly suspect he acted like an idiot, but it’s been clear from the beginning he’s not a murderer. Wake me when the riots reach three ridges from … Continue reading

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“I see the signs…”

Ghost is such a smart boy. He was hanging out with me in the Lair, helping me eat lunch, while I waited for a phone call to meet D&L to go to town. And the phone rang, and I talked … Continue reading

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Oh, this is so going on the sidebar…

A riff on one of my favorite aphorisms: A friend will help you move, a real friend will help you move bodies. Stolen from Borepatch. Oh, and I’m in the middle of a flurry of emails that will eventually bring … Continue reading

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These are the days of miracle and wonder. Don’t cry, baby, don’t cry…

And I’m still posting through scattered, ragged windows of connectivity prone to end at any moment, with no notice. I tell myself there’s nothing really wrong, it’s only Monsoon, I go through this every year but normally the modem works … Continue reading

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A dream that goes on for like a hundred years, and everything goes wrong…

The Lair had somehow been transformed into this rambling warren of buildings, except the electrical system was still its current free sample of an electrical system that was trying to run the whole thing. And the electricity kept going out, … Continue reading

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We don’t want people to think we’re not law-abiding. That would be awful.

State Police Receive First Registrations For Assault Weapons; Click Here for Forms The state police have received their first applications from Connecticut residents seeking to register assault weapons under the controversial gun control law that went into effect April 4 … Continue reading

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I am the scrounging king. I can do anything.

That, my friends, is the expensive part of my cabin skirting. You’re looking at something like 3/4 of a bale of sandbags, which have languished in the loft of somebody’s barn for forever. I traded it for a very minor … Continue reading

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Oh, bother…

Monsoon is in full swing. And with it comes the part I always forget later, the annual “I can’t stay connected!” drama. I’ll be sixty years old next year, and I’ve got a lot of miles on my chassis. In … Continue reading

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I’s all sweaty…

I had a paying gig that was supposed to start last Monday, just when I got sick. I’ve put it off as long as I care to, so even though I’m not exactly well I provisionally started it this morning. … Continue reading

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After the eggs, the hatchet. You didn’t know this?

Hell, I’m from Detroit and even I knew this. Chickens are food. That’s why they call that meat in the market “chicken.” And yet…Backyard chickens dumped at shelters when hipsters can’t cope, critics say Hundreds of chickens, sometimes dozens at … Continue reading

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Lady. For the love of God. Keep your vagina to yourself.

Seriously. I’m begging. If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights, You would ride on buses and fight all the fights. If my vagina was a gun, you would treat it with care, You wouldn’t spill … Continue reading

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Private to Landlady…

The pretty chicks are hitting the bottle. The pretty chicks are hitting the bottle. The big red blocks are under water. The big red blocks are under water. All is well, message ends.

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Needed to work on the Shit-Shoveling Song…

Tam’s got her fun show song, so clearly no blog can succeed in the modern market without its own theme song. Since the management and staff of TUAK don’t get many chances to attend gun shows, this one seems more … Continue reading

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After their first night without adult supervision…

Thought I’d better go check on the new li’l chickens early. They were fine… Yes. Yes, they is so stoopid.

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