Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

It was a little more intellectually stimulating than professional wrestling,…

…because it apparently had rules of a sort, but they were awfully hard to figure out. I refer, of course, to roller derby. Tam’s morning post got me to thinking about this. Not that she plays, apparently, but she recently … Continue reading

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Ol’ Scientist Joel

So Ian and I are still having water problems. Not as serious as before, when the water tank emptied and refused to refill. We fixed that. Now when the tank empties it at least fills back up. But it still … Continue reading

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Listen to the voice that warns, “tyranny is always lurking just around the corner.”

Creating the Stasi American Bradshaw is less interesting than the dynamics of the hot line itself. Utterly ruthless and depraved civil servants are a dime a dozen. The more compelling question is how their policies affect average citizens who are … Continue reading

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The New Army: Now with visual aids!

Meant to post this pic a couple of days ago, just because I think it’s funny. H/T to The Travis McGee Reader, which includes an interesting and relevant historical context.

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Remember yesterday, when I said…

‘There’s not enough money to get me to fire this with bare hands.’ Well, some braver soul has really done that, at least once, and survived with fingers and eyes intact. Just saying. Oh, and…Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Alternate Headline: Cook County Sheriff Doesn’t Get Out Much

If he thinks this is new, or that licensed concealed carry actually causes blood in the streets like the anti’s always say. ‘Cause we’ve never been here before, have we? Sheriff Tom Dart proposes Cook County concealed-carry ordinance Dart said … Continue reading

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Mebbe it’s time to take ol’ Joel out behind the barn…

Sheesh. The ophthalmologist is worse than the sheriff. Every time I go for an eye appointment, they come up with some other ailment to charge me with. It seems that laser treatment a couple of months ago didn’t do diddly. … Continue reading

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Squirming is good for your cardio health, O Beloved Master.

I gotta admit, my first thought when I saw this was, “There’s not enough money to get me to shoot this with bare hands.” Hey, it’s a first-gen concept, assuming it even works at all. I assume later versions will … Continue reading

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Gotta show you something I got over the weekend…

Faithful commenter Gooch sent it, and when he first mentioned it in an email I blew him off because I don’t own a shotgun. But then I got to thinking, “Hey. Ian’s got that coach gun. I gotta see if … Continue reading

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Happy Sinko de Mayo!

Which we don’t celebrate here. I mean, here at the Secret Lair we don’t pay much attention to any holiday other than John Moses Browning’s birthday (January 23, in case you wondered) but we’re not against the very concept of … Continue reading

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Playing with pictures…

Yeah, I got nothing today. Um…except to point out that it’s World Naked Gardening Day. Not too late to drop trou and go prune the cacti, I suppose. Personally I’m going to keep my clothes on and go back to … Continue reading

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I must get to Brooklyn immediately!

Unfortunately any story that’s this too good to be true – isn’t true. But I must go and investigate for myself. Bloomberg Refused Second Slice of Pizza at Local Restaurant Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the … Continue reading

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That faint jingling sound…

…is coming from my pocket for once. Geiger Counter Guy wanted 300 arsenic caps, which took me something like 14 hours to produce. It went really well for once, but I gotta tell you the weather’s been so nice lately … Continue reading

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Hey, look!

Funny pictures!

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A very interesting – and rather harrowing – PSA on magazine capacity…

When I say “PSA” you immediately guessed it was in favor of limiting capacity, didn’t you? I did too, at first. Not so much. I saw this over at Kevin’s site, where I strongly recommend you go and read his … Continue reading

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Ah, California. How I don’t miss thee.

Anybody who’s ever lived in California Anybody who’s ever had dealings with California Hell, anybody who’s ever heard of California knew this wasn’t going to end well. Or ever end at all, most likely. Maybe it won’t ever really even … Continue reading

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Things that just don’t work…

Yeah, I know, don’t even say it. Sometimes, when the people we love are idiots, we love them anyway.

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Okay, let me get this straight…

There are two guys having a “conversation.” One guy wants to take my property by force and leave me defenseless against him and everyone else. The other guy (me) just wants to be left alone. Somehow the second guy is … Continue reading

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Chicks and guns

Got a message that the new chickens have arrived in the big city… Since they’ll need defending, I see somebody’s getting them started on firearms training early… Having no thumbs, I’m not sure how they’ll work the trigger let alone … Continue reading

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THAT’S a Knife!

I like knives. My friends would tell you I like knives a lot. This might be too much of a good thing, though…

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