Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Hoo-ray for Hollywood!

That screwy, ballyhooey Hollywood Where any office boy or young mechanic Can be a panic, with just a goodlooking pan Where any barmaid can be a star made If she dances with or without a fan Hooray for Hollywood Where … Continue reading

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“No, seriously, there is no street to my house.”

I go through this from time to time. Most of the time it’s more a feature than a bug, but every now and then I get bug bites on my ass. I got a referral for a glaucoma specialist, but … Continue reading

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Six degrees.

Can we do some sort of referendum on the desirability of winter? Or can I sue for false advertising? This is the fergoshsake desert. Who said it could get this cold? Maybe if I issued an executive order?

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Well, but of course they’re more important because first amendment.

You gotta love these people. Without them, we’d need television for entertainment or something… Newspaper decrying guns uses armed guard to protect itself Remember that New York newspaper that created controversy shortly after the Newtown, Connecticut, massacre by publishing the … Continue reading

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I’m very glad not to be in the trailer…

It was damned cold yesterday, damned cold today, and promises to remain damned cold for the next few days. But I’ll take my good news where I can find it, and the good news is that the sky was cloudless … Continue reading

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Seven Degrees. :(

It’s cold. Also, I’m a bit hung over under the weather. That was an accident. Eat, then drink. I know that, but I’m out of practice at being a drunk. Looks like it’ll be a nice sunny day, though.

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Good news/bad news on the going blind thing…

Wow, that was a long day. My part of it was very short. The good news is that the drops the Wally World optometrist gave me work great. By whatever measurement they use, the pressure in the worst eye dropped … Continue reading

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I’m off to see the wizard…

Have to leave early for my eye appointment. Thanks again to those who made it possible. More later.

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Have a happy one.

Both Click and Zoe wanted to know what the hell this was all about. Stolen directly from Claire.

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Zoe the Hell-Kitten…

…has discovered yet another very bad habit. She’s one of those young cats who gathers bad habits to herself and cherishes them like treasures. No day goes by that I don’t want to punt her across the Lair at least … Continue reading

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How to become your own enemy…

I saw this: Cornel West: ‘No Tears’ for ‘Vanilla’ Sandy Hook And since the title invoked the name of Cornel West, one of my very favorite tenured racists, I could just barely believe he’d finally popped his last brain cell … Continue reading

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Getting lost in my own driveway…

Yes, I’m a bad man. I sometimes willfully violate the civilized laws which make life better for us all. In this particular case, I actually had the effrontery to sneak into town, driving a motor vehicle sans valid driver’s license. … Continue reading

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So that’s the way you hold a conversation?

By making blanket statements about the size of somebody else’s genitalia? I find this fellow’s interest in mine … disturbing. I’ll be the one to say it: If you own multiple guns or feel the need to possess a military-style … Continue reading

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Little House Oh So Dreary…

Looking back on my seven winters in the Undisclosed Location, I realize I probably should have kept better records. It always seems to me that the last part of December is the coldest part of any winter. Actually that probably … Continue reading

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Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

Deport me? If America won’t change its crazy gun laws… I may deport myself says Piers Morgan Piers Morgan declares facts null and void, argues from emotion, makes a dire threat. Film at eleven.

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Police, soldiers, and VIP bodyguards will continue to need lots and lots of guns.

None dare call it hypocrisy: Schumer woos Bushmaster to his bailiwick. Senator Charles Schumer joined Remington officials for the announcement. He said the additional jobs locally strengthens the plant’s ability to compete for federal contracts. Schumer also encouraged company officials … Continue reading

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How you know when things have gone too far…

“Heeeere, Grannygrannygranny… In 2010, after a year in which the estate tax was zeroed out altogether, Congress passed a law that set the estate tax at 35 percent and exempted all estates under $5 million, adjusted for inflation. That law … Continue reading

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So we’re getting some details on DiFi’s wet dream…

If women have wet dreams, which I don’t know. If DiFi is classifiable as a woman, which … I’d rather not speculate about that. Away, mental image! Yeesh! Anyway, back to Gun Control. Quickly. We’re getting some details on Feinstein’s … Continue reading

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…and sometimes it’s the way you imagined.

A day or two ago I wrote about the horrors of living in suburban America, where the houses actually keep you warm. In the context of that rambling, I almost sounded like I thought that was a bad thing. I … Continue reading

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In honor of Cocaine

The cat, that is. Not the drug. This morning I read an essay by a guy about a cat, and it rang very true. I don’t agree with the writer’s attitude toward cats in general… I’m a man who doesn’t … Continue reading

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