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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Bear? I know you’re out there.
You got some s’plainin’ to do. This is deeply disturbing. Little Bear is bugging me to check the miscegenation laws in the state we’re in, lest a certain photo be misinterpreted.
Right, this is going to take some getting used to.
H went off to the city this morning with my two favorite of the horses. Comet’s just off for some sort of training, but Alexandra the foal won’t be coming home. She got swapped for something I’ve never bothered to … Continue reading
The real reason I left the city…
Worth a thousand words. I remember telling Daughter that when I left Socal I was going to tie a traffic light to my front bumper and drive until someone asked me what the funny-looking yellow thing was. There I would … Continue reading
If that’s true, we’re pretty much doomed.
But then I’ve said for a long time that the NRA is to gun rights what Jesse Jackson is to racial equality. If they ever won what they say they want, they’d be out of business. So I wouldn’t just … Continue reading
Wow. So I guess the Big O got schooled last night.
I didn’t follow any news about the debate. Duh. But when I run into this, with Barry’s biggest fans having to dig this deep for excuses… What? Did he burst into tears or something?
For all our troubles, some people still do cool stuff.
There’s this thing called the land speed record. You can build planes that go really fast, jet- and rocket-powered planes that go really, really fast, and spacecraft that go even faster than that. That’s all pretty cool. But you don’t … Continue reading
Here’s a reason to watch the debate!
I’ve never actually played a drinking game in my life, but this one looks like fun and it’s guaranteed to hospitalize you with alcohol poisoning. Prior to the debate, put a loaded shot glass on each square. When you hear … Continue reading
“The end of the matter, everything having been said, is…”
…that there’s always something more to be said. Particularly in a matter with a very long, very complex history. And I got an email this morning from an old and very valued friend of the blog, gently taking me to … Continue reading
Well, concubines never seemed like such a completely bad idea…
Via Claire, it seems that Chick-fil-A guy’s mouth found another way to get him into the news. “We support Biblical families, and they’ve always been a part of that.” Claire wants to know just what he means by “Biblical family.” … Continue reading
I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a LOT, but…
Convicted TSA Agent: Stealing from passenger bags is “very” common Brown says he was never asked about suspicious behavior, including a time when he walked out of a security checkpoint with a Nintendo Wii in his hands. Now he says … Continue reading
And while we’re talking about dangers…
Let’s not forget the very real threat that’s a lot closer to home than Egypt.
And now a word from the other side.
Yesterday I posted a piece (gently, I hope) critical of people who spend a lot of time being fearful of efforts to impose Islamic standards on them. I suggested that such efforts are no danger, and that indeed they would … Continue reading
Death in the Desert
Off to the east of Landlady’s place, if you follow the wash upstream, you come to a branch that splits into two long canyons. The smaller one that goes to the north can be kind of an eerie place, and … Continue reading
Giving Allah rent-free space in your head…
Via Codrea, here’s a Matt Bracken manifesto for people afraid of Islam. He clearly worked hard on that. Which leads me to speculate that he lays awake nights worrying about somebody imposing Sharia law on him. Can you imagine anything … Continue reading
Getting ready for my new career in Hollywood…
There’s a new video out at Forgotten Weapons, and one shot contains a background Jeep you may recognize. Because the cameraman’s a doofus. I’ll disagree with one thing Ian said. He said he found the carbine enjoyable to shoot. I … Continue reading
I don’t know why this surprised me.
When I posted a video a few days ago, featuring an unbearably shrill Obama supporter who touted “free phones” as a reason to vote for the Big O, I assumed she was talking out her ass. Free phones? Never heard … Continue reading
Sunday. In which Joel gets to play the hero.
In the endless fight against evil that is our neighborhood’s life here, I’m one of the good guys. I don’t think anybody here disputes that. When a crowd needs to get together, they know they can count me in. But … Continue reading
Ayn Rand would have at least considered dynamite.
During his weekend visit, Ian brought up a copy of Atlas Shrugged Part I. In telling me about it, he said something like: “I got the impression the people involved were very concerned about making it faithful to the novel.” … Continue reading
In the future, all air travelers will be required to staple their pistols to an iPad.
That way the TSA won’t miss finding it. Just another itsy-bitsy oopsie on the part of our beloved but sadly undermanned masters protectors at TSA. Nothing to see here. Move along, citizens. But what always gets me about these stories … Continue reading
Saturday, in which Joel learns a new way to start a fire
So today a stranger showed up at J&H’s with a dump truck to pick up a load of manure. If only they knew where to find someone with a loader. Of course J had asked earlier if I wanted to … Continue reading









































