Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

That’s disconcerting.

Cold, cloudy and windy today. It snowed this morning and I pretty much expect it to snow tonight. Landlady came up to visit her property, unloaded, loaded, and headed right back to the city: Who gave it permission to still … Continue reading

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Essential skills for life…

Today’s lesson: How to Wash your Chicken. Sentences I never expected to hear, ever ever: “A lot of people write in asking how long before the show they should wash their chicken.” And petroleum jelly? Really? Taking notes, Landlady? Actually, … Continue reading

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Ol’ Hard-Knocks Barack

If this shitepoke didn’t exist, it would be necessary for The Onion to invent him. Obama: We didn’t have “the luxury” for Michelle to not work The Big O’s version: And once Michelle and I had our girls, she gave … Continue reading

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After a while it just gets too weird.

I still owe M a lot of dirt-moving on his Dome, and it’s past time to get back to it. But that slope was scaring the life out of me. It wasn’t so much the ascent, because Gulchendiggensmoothen has no … Continue reading

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Please, oh wise one! Explain to me, your humble servant…

How does taking everybody’s money away “grow the economy?” Is that a new thing buried in a Keynes book somewhere, and just recently unearthed? And who came up with that dumbass phrase “grow the economy,” anyway? And what is that … Continue reading

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I’ve found something nice to say about Obama.

So Mitt the Wonder Romney is going to give a speech at the NRA convention, it says here. Well, they deserve each other. “we have all the laws we need” in regard to gun control “I believe in the second … Continue reading

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QoD: “You’ve got it backward” edition:

As I work on my taxes, that half of Americans don’t pay Federal income taxes becomes less abstractly and a lot more viscerally wrong. I see that a different way.

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A sign of the season

It’s been a couple of weeks since water froze here overnight. Afternoons have been positively hot. The boys are seeking shelter under the Lair. Clearly it’s time to put up their automatic waterer. If it seems a little, um, chewed, … Continue reading

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“My god! It’s full of geeks!”

Okay, so it seems there’s this photography-related fellow who, apparently never having visited any other sort of forum, became distressed at the tone and trajectory of many a thread on camera forums. He wrote what he thought was an over-the-top … Continue reading

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For a second there, Lady, I thought you were going to tell me something profound.

Seen here: This isn’t the big news I’d hoped to find when I followed the link. Seriously, my big problem is that I can’t overcome 50-odd years of muscle memory and learn how to comfortably shoot a rifle left-handed. By … Continue reading

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This is why we must leave science in the hands of trained professionals. Like politicians.

See, this would never have occurred to silly ol’ me. Arizona bill declares women pregnant two weeks before conception That’s a little overwrought, but not completely inaccurate. On page eight of the proposed amendment to H.B. 2036, lawmakers lay out … Continue reading

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Is today a “day of action?” Not holding my breath, but whatever.

Aw, Jeez. Bring it on, Huey Newton. Slightly NSFW, completely full of shit: Went through this bullshit back in the sixties, in Detroit. These two haven’t even filed the serial numbers off the old rhetoric. It makes me very tired. … Continue reading

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Here’s a sign of the times I could have done without…

Proper Etiquette for When You’re Under Arrest Maybe they should teach this in high school. It’s amazingly easy to be a criminal in the Brave New World – I do it daily, and so do you.

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Things that make you go “I need a new job.”

Florida police pose as giant bunnies to catch illegal drivers “Patterson!” “Yo!” “Here’s your assignment for Easter. The city’s short of cash, which means we’re short of cash. Go out there and get us some cash.” “Um…Sarge?” “Seat belts, Patterson. … Continue reading

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Oh, great. Now I’m hungry.

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A trip down memory lane…

Many, many moons ago when I was a vocational ed teacher, I had a bootleg VHS copy of this little gem. I used to play it on the first day of my four-week class on automatic transmissions as a break … Continue reading

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You might have wanted to check the history of that phrase, Senator. You’re being too honest.

I’m not a weather expert, but I’m pretty sure I could find historical evidence that cars don’t cause tornadoes. Lying senators*, on the other hand, can be proven to bring on all sorts of evil. “Your money or your life” … Continue reading

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Returning borrowed things…

Last fall I was looking for something in Landlady’s barn, and came upon these brackets somebody had tossed in a corner. And at first I couldn’t quite figure out what they were. Took a minute or two before I realized … Continue reading

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Introducing, um…

Officially, her name is Alexandra Anastasia, or possibly Anastasia Alexandra, I can’t remember. If they don’t come up with an everyday name before long, I’m just gonna call her “Double-A.” Six days old today, and quite a cutie.

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