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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Oh, man. Now I’m bummed.
Earl Scruggs dead at 88 This is the first guy to get me interested in the five-string – and also the first guy to discourage me in it. If I couldn’t play like that – and I sure couldn’t – … Continue reading
Oh, stop blaming Obama.
The first time I ever got on an airliner, I was going to spend the summer with my older brother. No way I was going without my most prized possession: Yeah, it was a piece of crap. But it was … Continue reading
In other news, Charles Manson tapped for lead in Ghandi remake…
Seen pretty much everywhere I looked… Jane Fonda to play Nancy Reagan in ‘Butler’ As far as I can tell, it’s a movie about a White House butler. Seriously. Can’t wait to see who they’ll cast as Ronnie – Al … Continue reading
Seriously?
Trayvon Martin’s mom files trademark papers SANFORD, Fla. – The mother of slain Florida teenager Trayvon Martin has filed papers seeking to trademark two slogans based on his name. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office filings by Sybrina Fulton are … Continue reading
It’s Also the Definition of Crazy.
I did not make this up. (scroll down a bit.)
Took a vacation from the internet…
Early Saturday, Landlady and M showed up at the Lair. They’d come up together on Friday night, so they appeared just as I was beginning to clean up the Lair so people wouldn’t (have evidence to) know what a slob … Continue reading
Sometimes you just gotta lighten up.
Brava, Claire! Love and Freedom Yes, our freedom is imperiled. Every person reading this is well aware of that. We could all list hundreds of threats to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And of course, if we actually … Continue reading
It’s legal to kill people with flying drones (if you’re a government) but nobody is allowed to deliver tacos with them.
Top of the world, Ma!
Fresh air, sunshine, what else can a guy ask? Oh, yeah, being done with this dumb job. And today I’m done. Got all the way to the top of West Mesa, one back-breaking rock at a time. What’s best, I … Continue reading
How can I find effective lightsaber training?
Because this isn’t it. Daughter sent me this. Apparently she’s not over the Star Wars bug quite as much as I hoped.
We need more effective finger control.
Finger “gun” lands dad in jail This is how it starts, you know. First you’re pointing fingers, then your kids are drawing pictures of guns in school. Next thing you know, you’re mainlining religious slogans and mowing down Frenchmen. The … Continue reading
Let’s hear it for South Side values!
Michelle Obama: ‘South Side of Chicago’ Values in WH No, seriously. I think. Michelle Obama: For us, it’s the values. The thing that we try to do is make sure — the residence is on the second and the third … Continue reading
Fast & Furious never boils, but continues to simmer.
At least some repubs are using it for fodder to harass the admin. I doubt we’ll ever see justice in regard to the actual ATF, but at least it hasn’t completely disappeared. Agents appeared to have probable cause to arrest … Continue reading
Saved by the email…
So this morning, while I was eating and getting myself bolted together I figured I’d head right out and finish that road so it’d be out of my life. Last night it was hurting me in the shoulders, this morning … Continue reading
Wanna know when you’re having a good day?
You write a post criticizing a lesbian Buddhist. It turns out one of your most faithful readers actually IS a lesbian Buddhist. And she’s not offended. Bullet. Dodged. 🙂
Don’t know where we’re going, but there’s no point in being late.
A long time ago, like damn near three years ago, I wrote a post bitching about that old David Grossman metaphor of the wolves, sheepdogs and sheep. Once in a while I still get comments on it, since it comes … Continue reading
Now if they’d gotten Neil Young to stand in the middle there, THAT would have been cool…
Brazenly stolen from KurtP.
Oooooh…
“Four or five hours, it’ll take,” he said. Right. I spent five hours on the road up the side of that frickin’ hill. How much did I cover? I clocked it on the way down. 0.3 mile. There are a … Continue reading
And what a surprise! It always is.
When an officer kills an animal, the Police Chief reviews it to determine if it was justified. At a minimum, a fatal Rule 4 violation. Not that it matters when you’re an Only One. H/T to Balko.
Today I am a man…
Finally got linked on Uncle. What’s next? Blogmeets? T&E samples sent to my door? Mother will be so proud. I’m going straight to the basement and tell her!









































