Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Okay: Imagine for a moment you’re the Deputy Mayor for Public Safety and Justice…

And from your mouth you utter this pronouncement: “You’ll heal.” Seriously. That’s what he said. Along with ‘It’s better to be scared, robbed and even injured than to be armed. Because otherwise somebody could get hurt.’ No mention in the … Continue reading

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The most important post you’ll read today!

Just kidding – I never click on it when they say “I’ve got nothing.” It’s a cold, blustery day, and even the boys don’t want to be out in it. Nice and sunny, though. Here’s a funny picture. I’m going … Continue reading

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F-f-freeeezing…

This is the fourth day of howling wind, and this morning it seems to be finding every little crack in the Secret Lair, or possibly making new ones. Fire’s been burning for four hours, and only now my fingers have … Continue reading

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It’s a point I’ve occasionally tried to make myself. Usually goes right over their heads.

If they really thought we were the dangerous whackos they say they think we are, they wouldn’t be so abusive. We’ve got all the guns. H/T to Jay G.

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I’m sorry he’s dead and all…

He never did me any harm. Never really gave him much thought, to tell the truth. But the only one with any real post-Monkees chops was Nesmith, as far as I’m concerned.

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It’s hard to be all that sympathetic…

A “Farm-to-Fork” celebratory dinner gets shut down by the “health department.” Amazingly despicable officious inspector does amazingly despicable and officious things. Victims submit, whine, make video. Honestly, you’ll get the message less painfully if you go to the link and … Continue reading

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I’ll say this much for word verification…

It has been keeping a lot – a lot! – of really lame spam at bay. I’m suddenly up to my ears in it, every morning. But so far it has all landed in the spam locker, which is where … Continue reading

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Our pistol, which art on my belt, Springfield be thy name…

Well, Bill, sounds like you’ve already figured it out. If guns are a religion, it’s natural to love them. I don’t recall kissing one, but certainly metal objects should be polished from time to time. Especially in a dusty environment.  … Continue reading

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Sentences I never expected to see or hear, when I was growing up…

The overall video quality is the best of any phone I’ve ever seen. You kids today.  Why, when I was a boy, telephones were big, blocky things that required their own tables. They were installed by highly-trained professionals, and the … Continue reading

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Exclusive to TUAK: Obama’s Secret Second-Term Plan

Suddenly the republican syphilitic camel doesn’t look so bad…

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Boy, I’m really glad all those republicans got elected to congress, because things like this are impossible now.

Via Claire, Introducing!  For your rotting in federal prison pleasure! The Federal Restricted Buildings and Grounds Improvement Act! Yes! The new, improved FRBGIA, which is nothing at all like the Alien and Sedition Acts, because nobody in congress wears wigs … Continue reading

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Hee. Words you may want to avoid in future…

If you’re into “social media,” that is. I’m sure you can blog away in as incendiary a manner as you wish. Or, um … (AHEM) …Maybe not. Via Unc, here’s a list of the words our beloved protectors of the … Continue reading

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Graddatter Learns About Pet Tricks…

Look, Mommy! Kitty’s going round and round!

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Hoplophobes are dangerous and they need to be outlawed immediately.*

Even when I don’t read the news, I know right away when there’s been another mass shooting. The blood-dancers come out to play. But this one’s GunControl-fu is not strong. Think about it. What is the purpose of a gun? … Continue reading

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Good karma or good luck?

This is embarrassing for a self-described hermit to have to admit, but lately other people have really been coming through for me. Most of the following has to do with last Friday’s chimney fire, but it’s more than that. I’ve … Continue reading

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8^() Uncle Murphy gets me coming and going!

So all night it stormed, right? Lots and lots of wind, constant light horizontal rain. Around five the sky cleared, allowing the temperature to crash. Along about sunup we got heavy clouds. The wind continued to howl. Snow expected. So … Continue reading

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Rick Santorum: Schmuck or Putz? We report, you decide!

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On Comments not getting posted…

Blogger has been no help to me at all. Yesterday I did the only thing I could see to do, I disabled that horrible new “word verification.” This morning I had two new bits of Russian spam – and to … Continue reading

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Why. Do. They. Do. This.

I am not a computer geek. Never was. I used to be a more functional computer user than I now am. Had to be – work depended on it. Loading new software didn’t used to strain my ability. But now … Continue reading

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Why yes! I am a redneck. Why do you ask?

Laundry day was much less complicated when there was water on Landlady’s Ridge. It would actually be simpler if I just washed my clothes by hand, and I suppose I should. I’ve got a double sink and running water now. … Continue reading

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