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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
“Critical thinking is unpatriotic.”
This piece from Popehat is worth your time. In fact, quite aside from what it has to say on the WoD, it addresses a major way I’ve always found so many conservatives annoying. But patriotism, as defined by modern law … Continue reading
Contact has been made…
Got a call from a person. In a place. Soon the satellite dish and modem will be professionally moved out to the Secret Lair, which means I don’t have to confine the dogs, drive a mile, and sit in a … Continue reading
Sometimes good things come in gurgling packages.
Hey, kids! Do you know what happened on this date in 1933? Here’s a hint… That’s right! Everybody wore hats!
Cold, with a side order of colder.
The nasty weather hasn’t really been all that nasty so far, but the weather forecast remains adamant that it’s gonna go out with a memorable bang. So far nighttime temps are mid-twenties, but Monday night it’s still supposed to head … Continue reading
SayUncle has “Gun Pr0n.” TUAK has M.
From M’s Forgotten Weapons: If that’s all it takes, I could get a job writing sales labels for European battle rifles – since I know next to nothing about them, and that seems to be a qualification. M’s at the … Continue reading
“Uncle Joel, …”
“It’s snowing. Make it stop.” LB loves the snow – in a perfect world he’d have been born to a sled team. Ghost isn’t nearly as enthusiastic, and holds me responsible. Hasn’t actually snowed much here so far, I woke … Continue reading
You know that vile weather I said was inevitable?
It’s rolling in. Supposed to be single-digit temps in a couple of days, preceded by snow and rain. Of course it was supposed to rain today, with 15 mph wind. Instead it was clear all morning with wind scouring the … Continue reading
I don’t spend a lot of time admiring McDonalds’ lawyers, …
But when you got it, you got it. San Francisco’s ban on giving away a free toy with a child’s meal containing a certain number of calories, salt, and other particulars is set to kick in [today]. McDonald’s, the clear … Continue reading
Somebody on this side of the pond should try this!
Heathrow has never been more efficient! Passengers’ glee as border agency strike SPEEDS UP passport control Passengers who had been warned of lengthy delays at Heathrow due to striking workers today said border controls were ‘better than usual’. As Border … Continue reading
You may have noticed…
…that posting here is getting a little spotty. I still shoot for every day, but right now it’s more of a guideline – my internet access is over a mile’s drive from the Lair, and if the weather turns nasty … Continue reading
Introducing Basie the Wonder Dog!
I took a bunch of pictures with M’s Mom’s new dog Basie and the boys, but the lighting was terrible and they didn’t come out. And anyway…well, this is a family blog. They play dominance games in ways that could … Continue reading
Remember, children. Mr. Policeman is your friend.
Michael, stop kicking Mr. Policeman. 5-Year-Old Boy Arrested At School STOCKTON, Calif. (KCRA) — Earlier this year, a Stockton student was handcuffed with zip ties on his hands and feet, forced to go to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation … Continue reading
The Chain of Obedience
I don’t endorse everything these guys have out there because I haven’t seen it all. But what I’ve seen is interesting.
Rule One for wood stove users: Don’t run out of wood.
Since moving into the Lair I’ve barely cut any wood at all. My chains are all fairly dull from cutting at D&L’s place for their use, I had one session since then and now I’m reluctant to use the chainsaw … Continue reading
I didn’t see that coming…
So now something unpleasant seems to be going on between Click and Little Bear. Long-time readers know that LB may as well be the issue of Click’s own womb, as far as she’s concerned. She has, I’m happy to say, … Continue reading
This is a genuine disappointment.
Ol’ Embarrassing Barney isn’t going to stay in Congress. But who will we find to laugh at now? Seriously, it’s like an era is ending. First Teddy dies, and now this! UPDATE: Whew. On further reading, it seems this will … Continue reading
“Here’s to red pens!”
Once upon a time I sort of inherited a company department with a stable of tech writers. Prior to this I’d always worked alone and this “promotion” marked the beginning of my career’s downward slide, because I’m really no damn … Continue reading
The internets are over here, and the Lair is ‘way over there…
Spent part of the morning installing Click’s new cat door. Sometimes I think she damaged her head in transit or something: She’s been using cat doors since she was a little kitten, she’s very far from a little kitten now, … Continue reading
I’m having fun.
Sorry, busy day yesterday. M’s Mom is visiting, she made it for Thanksgiving – which we don’t particularly celebrate, but still it’s a long weekend so everybody shows up. M’s M has a dog that makes Little Bear look cute’n’little, … Continue reading
Move along, citizens. The bad man is gone now.
Crazed terrorist abuses bicycle, authorities react authoritatively, danger is averted. Scotland Neck Police Chief Joe Williams said they received a call Monday night about a man who fell off of his bicycle and injured himself in the parking lot of … Continue reading









































