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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for the year 2009…
…when men were men, ATF agents were heroes, people were buying the bullshit about American guns flooding poor Mexico (without U.S. government help, that is), and SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE!!! Success on the front lines of a government blitz … Continue reading
Chew it slowly! This is the good stuff.
I’ve been spending the morning, off and on, trying to bring some order to the very messy pantry. I needed to swap lids on a bunch of pails, and I hate dealing with the lids. About half our pails have … Continue reading
Wow, guys. Way to be non-judgmental.
8^D So I’m surfing a bit at Claire’s, and she recommends this essay at Get Rich Slowly called “What Do You Care What Other People Think,” a question always dear to my heart. It’s not a bad piece, I recommend … Continue reading
Harbinger of Monsoon
It’s been hot – really hot – for days. Afternoons above a hundred according to the nifty digital thermometer Landlady gave me, which is hotter than usual. Yesterday broke cloudy and hazy, breezy and much cooler. Around two the storm … Continue reading
Al Gore to Women: Put Out Less.
I didn’t exactly make that up… “One of the things we could do about it is to change the technologies, to put out less of this pollution, to stabilize the population, and one of the principal ways of doing that … Continue reading
Six years in slam for doing the right thing?
Remember when it was America’s pride to be able to truthfully say it had no political prisoners? Me neither.
Is it paranoia when they’re really out to get you?
I’ve been seeing these talking points (sure wouldn’t call them “arguments”) quite a lot. Maybe they resonate with somebody. Somewhere. I hope not to meet those people. The ATF’s woes are entirely the fault of the gun rights lobby, concerned … Continue reading
Apparently so. Apparently so.
Tam, quite logically, asks Seriously, have we reached a point where we, as a nation, are so pants-pissingly scared of a bunch of self-immolating neolithic goatherds that we are willing to inflict any indignity on any citizen at any time … Continue reading
Hm. Everything about this job seems to be gross…
Working on the last tweaks to the septic system before I start burying stuff. I pulled the pipe out of the first barrel for a little adjustment, and caught a really foul odor. That seemed premature. Looked down through the … Continue reading
Corned Beef Hash (with complications on the side)
I love corned beef. And potatoes. And onions. It therefore follows logically that I should love corned beef hash like life itself. Instead, for most of my life the mere sound of the three words made me actively nauseous. Seriously, … Continue reading
Forgotten Weapons
This looks like a good place to plug my friend Ian’s site Forgotten Weapons. I’ve mentioned it here before. He covers a lot of old, obscure designs, provides scans of old manuals, that sort of thing. Lately, though, he has … Continue reading
Oh, brother.
Hiding in the Scriptorium and waiting for the heat to fade. The boys and Click are sacked on the shelves, everybody’s safe, everything’s coollaid-back, and I’m aimlessly surfing the afternoon away. I should be more careful where I surf. From … Continue reading
I won’t be packing it on any camping trips…
The thing weighs a ton. But after the ninja bear incidents of a couple of weeks ago I thought I’d better upgrade my lighting situation, which I never took very seriously. I’ve got a fairly good belt flashlight, but nothing … Continue reading
Anybody who says pictures can’t lie…
…hasn’t seen a professional news editor at work. Let’s play “Spot the Lies.” View more news videos at: http://www.nbcchicago.com/video. Are all Chicago newsies this dishonest? Are all Chicago viewers this stupid? H/T to Black Sunday.
Maybe this is why Helmke quit: The “question-that-must-not-be-asked seems to be spreading.
Editorial: Was Fast And Furious A Gun-Control Plot? Not the sort of question I’d expect Investors Business Daily to be worrying itself over. Scandal: Rather than a botched attempt to catch criminals, was the ATF program actually an attempt to … Continue reading
But who will we pick on now?
Say what evil you will about Paul Helmke, we must also praise his virtues. He has been tirelessly self-promoting, ubiquitously visible, and a wonderfully available punching bag. His talking points – I’d never dignify them with “arguments” – don’t have … Continue reading
Just because it can’t be said too often…
Welcome to the brave new world, citizens! Feel safer now. That’s an order.
And that’s what I like about this place…
There’s always so much to bitch about! Seems like only yesterday I thought I’d freeze to death. Got so cold the snow never melted off my boots overnight. So cold the drinking water froze in its bottles. So cold … … Continue reading
Meditations on a Free Market
This is a reprint of something I wrote over two years ago. Almost nobody read it back then, of course, because back then almost nobody read the blog. What the piece says about web articles concerning the free market may … Continue reading









































