Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

I won’t freeze this winter.

A worrying expense has been resolved today, and I don’t think I could have made a better deal.It’s been on my mind for some time. I need a chainsaw, because I need to be cutting wood for winter. Heaven knows … Continue reading

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The Object of the Game

In the Detroit public schools I attended during the sixties, gym teachers had a sadistic little game that they liked to watch boys play. The game was called Dodgeball. You might remember it. The teacher would divide the class into … Continue reading

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*YAWN* It’s not corruption when WE do it.

Here’s another denizen of the Obama inner circle who got caught “forgetting” certain matters the IRS considers important… WASHINGTON — A former top official for a huge New York union who is now the White House political director failed to … Continue reading

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J&H lost a horse yesterday…

Roxxie, H’s favorite saddle mare, suffered a terrible accident yesterday and had to be put down. H took her for some sort of training, leaving the trainer with specific instructions not to work her in the round pen because Roxxie … Continue reading

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Next up: The Robert C. Byrd Ninth Circle!

Oh, the legacy this great man leaves! It’ll take decades to replace all those signs! In his over forty-eight years (!) in the United States Senate, Senator Byrd has achieved a pork record that is second to none. From the … Continue reading

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And now, a word from those who cry for the children…

Heh, heh… Violence Policy Center Legislative Director Kristen Rand issued the following statement: “People will die because of this decision. It is a victory only for the gun lobby and America’s fading firearms industry. The inevitable tide of frivolous pro-gun … Continue reading

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Please don’t let it be about race.

Hey, look. I’m a white guy from the East Side in Detroit. When I was six we moved to the deep south where I got to soak up some Jim Crow attitudes, and then we moved back to Detroit when … Continue reading

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Poor Little Bear

He left me a major odoriferous gift this morning, but it wasn’t his fault. Twice during the night LB woke me scratching on the door screen and wanting out. Since he never ever does that, I really should have listened. … Continue reading

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One Thousandth Post!

I’ve been meaning to clean out some duplicate drafts, because the thousandth post was coming and I didn’t want to miss it. Darned near did, too: According to a newly-accurate count, the Nissan Cube post was #1,000. The ‘pooter and … Continue reading

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TSA scores another PR coup!

So this lady’s trying to get through security to catch her plane. She’s struggling with a fussy 4-year-old. Also she’s an amputee. In these days of “heightened security measures, what could go wrong? Regular TUAK readers know that I am … Continue reading

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I’ve got a new “ugliest car I’ve ever seen!”

Yes, forget the Pontiac Aztec. That’s just got an unfortunate sense of style. Now comes the Nissan Cube! I can only assume that in Japanese, “Cube” (no doubt pronounced “Koo-Bay” means “exciting, dynamic shape.” Because otherwise, why would you give … Continue reading

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I’ve got to go to town today…

So in lieu of the enlightenment and wisdom for which you came, here are some funny pictures.

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QoD

“Truth is, I’m not specifically interested in an armed society. What I want is a free society.”– George Potter Amen. And we agree that the latter is impossible without the former.

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“Are we all supposed to carry around guns now?”

Here’s a guy who has filed a $10M lawsuit against his local police department, because they didn’t prevent him from getting shot. No, no, I know what you’re thinking – “the police aren’t obligated to protect individuals,” and all that. … Continue reading

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“You don’t need a gun to protect your kids.”

Leaving us with the nagging question of what you do need, because these ladies are loaded for bear. And apparently quite deranged. I watched it twice. I still don’t know what they’re trying to tell me. Seen here, via Tam.

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Every Teenager Has Moments Like This.

Part of reaching adulthood is growing out of it. Peter Singer doesn’t seem to have managed that. In the June 6 NYT, our world-famous philosopher and infanticide proponent asks the question that at least occasionally crosses every 16-year-old mind: Should … Continue reading

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A License to Live

I start my day in the land of the formerly free to the news that Fremont, Nebraska has awakened to the dire threat of aliens among us. They’re taking our jobs! They’re … I don’t know, ogling our women or … Continue reading

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Of the strange ways I find to make women mad at me…

Landlady: “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” Me: “Uh oh. What’d I do?” Landlady: “When I come up here with (a guy she sometimes catches a ride with), I have to listen to Tom Clancy books on tape. … Continue reading

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YOUCH! How to abruptly end a military career!

When you’re the General-Who’s-Going-To-Save-Us-All du jour, there are things you don’t say in public. Hint: Whispering it down a well at midnight is too public. Especially “with a president who puts a premium on message discipline and loyalty.” One of … Continue reading

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Well, the cat’s out of the bag now.

Here at TUAK Central I often speak of my neighbor W. I must now confess to you that I made W up. There is no guy named W. W is not a guy. My neighbor is actually the well-known-in-certain-circles writer … Continue reading

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