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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Gotta show you this…
So yesterday evening I’m looking for the dogs’ snacky dishes. I foolishly left two of them near the powerhouse before the wind storm, and the wind just sucks everything from there to the meadow. Found one; the other may be … Continue reading
I spent most of this morning…
…Cleaning up the mess from yesterday evening. The wind came up yesterday afternoon as expected, but toward sunset it really started to howl. We’ve had outbuildings blown right over during spring windstorms – yesterday’s was almost as bad as any … Continue reading
You really can find anything on the internet!
My landlord had a couple of storebought sawhorses that weren’t all that strongly built to begin with and have seen a lot of service. I got tired of having to stop what I was doing and screw them back together, … Continue reading
Magnus is fine
I had this great post planned which would have transformed your entire life in marvelous and transcendent ways, but the day got weird and busy in other directions today so I didn’t write it. Sorry. I’ll leave Sunday to mentioning … Continue reading
Old Dog, Young Dog
Magnus had a bad night and a bad morning. He woke me up a few times wanting company, something he never does without what he considers a good reason, and it’s usually a reason I can at least detect even … Continue reading
BOTH tail lights??
Spent the day just puttering around today. There’ve been big, messy piles of scrap lumber laying around since I de-nailed that batch of 2X12s, and I hesitated to get rid of it because…well, it might come in handy, y’know? But … Continue reading
She…Did…WHAT???
Meet Michelle Owen. Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her … Continue reading
Okay, this is just awesome.
I’ve been in and out of the scriptorium today, doing little things around the ridge. Come back to an email from my friend J.D., linking to a video which I am required by GOD to share with you now. Dunno … Continue reading
I don’t believe it.
I never, NEVER thought those people were capable of surprising me with stupidity and hypocrisy. This is crazy, even for congressvermin. Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, said the bill was “a political circus” diverting attention from why the administration hadn’t … Continue reading
Huh!
Via Snowflakes in Hell, I see…well, something I didn’t expect to see. Seems the topic is still considered radioactive after all, and the wording just shocks me.
Popcorn Sutton, R.I.P.
Marvin “Popcorn” Sutton, world’s greatest and most incorrigible moonshiner, is dead. He committed suicide to avoid incarceration in a south Georgia federal prison, after his fifth conviction on moonshining charges. I don’t know much about him, but apparently his antics … Continue reading
@#$%!!!!
It’s the simple things that screw you up. The simple, obvious things that you saw right off, thought “I’ve got to find a way around this!” and then forgot all about until you’re just totally screwed because those were the … Continue reading
Hawks in the Gulch
There was a big red tailed hawk hunting on the banks of the wash this morning while I was headed for the cabin site. Still there when I came back; wish I could have gotten some shots of him, but … Continue reading
First knives and fathers’ lectures…
I was cooking up a mid-morning snack, and while thinking of something else entirely I was reminded of two incidents, which in context and contrast are completely ludicrous. Thought I’d share. When I was a boy, I lusted after my … Continue reading
Politician: /ˌpɒlɪˈtɪʃən/ (N) See Lying, Hypocritical, Horrid Little Creature…
Back during the presidential primary campaigns I had a bit of a debate (I don’t think it ever descended to the level of a dispute) with some friends concerning the efficacy of rooting for Ron Paul. Their position was that, … Continue reading
Meanwhile, in the REAL America…
I’m supposed to be working now, but instead I slunk over to David Codrea’s War On Guns site and wish I hadn’t. It seems yet another isolated incident has occurred… Can somebody parse this for me? Because I’m having a … Continue reading
It must be spring, because…
…the cottontails are really out and active! It’s nothing unusual to flush a rabbit or two during the morning walk, but today I must have seen seven or eight. Calculate probably 10,000 I missed for every one I saw, and … Continue reading
Hail, Knight of Disgusting Practices, pt. 2
In the place where we live, the only large animals aside from deer and elk are the half-wild cattle and the thoroughly-domesticated though powerful and often ill-tempered horses. These creatures are accustomed to dump wherever they choose. This would be … Continue reading
El Neil Fans: Check This Out!
L. Neil Smith has been talking about his Pallas sequel Ceres for just forever, but couldn’t find a publisher. As far as I know he hasn’t had a dead-tree book published since The American Zone and that’s a damned shame. … Continue reading
Montana Senators: WTF?
Do they just know which side of their bread holds the butter, or are they really serious about gun rights? Because they’re confusing the hell out of me. Back in ’94, when the Dems got their collective head handed to … Continue reading









































