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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
It’s not that cold!
So how come I’m so cold this morning? Maybe it’s just a subconscious reaction to the date. Winter isn’t the physical ordeal it used to be, what with incremental improvements in the Lair finally achieving real-house-like standards. But I still … Continue reading
20+ psi
Just sayin’… …and also I need to wash it with vinegar again.
It works!
Okay: as of just after noon today, the water tank is absolutely as full as it can be*. One more molecule would fall right out the overflow pipe. I just took this picture: The pressure is higher first thing in … Continue reading
I watched this, and my main question was…
“What the hell is wrong with all the people standing around photographing this?” Insert chest-thumping drivel about what would happen if anybody behaved this way (bravely facing down a little old lady with a walker!) around here…
And that’s why, even if I had a Christmas card list…
…Uncle Murphy wouldn’t be on it. Had a few move-it-around chores to knock out this morning. First I had to move the cutting table from the Lair to the woodlot so I can chop up some knocked-down pallets for firewood… … Continue reading
“Going for a ride?”
Another reason I don’t get as much use out of the bike as I should, given the changing season… …I’m a soft touch.
A hundred miles.
I took a trip to the dollar store with D&L this morning, and before I even went home to put the groceries away I took the bike out for the specific purpose of taking this picture… We’ve crossed a hundred … Continue reading
Bridge over occasional water…
I have a bridge over the drainage ditch for the gully behind the Lair. It used to be for the burning barrels, and now it’s for the woodshed. Since I traditionally knock them together out of whatever’s lying around, they … Continue reading
Here’s a sad mark of the season…
The Lair is down to just a couple of die-hard hummingbird freeloaders, everybody else presumably having headed south for the winter. And after they’ve sucked this last feeder-load dry I’m going to take it in, clean it up and store … Continue reading
A Day in the Life
If it seems as though I’m not posting very much or with any real enthusiasm lately, it’s not because of any loss of interest in the blog. It’s just that nothing really happens here most of the time, most of … Continue reading
The things I do to get stuff done…
So now I’m sitting in D&L’s pickup outside the surprisingly well- attended physical therapy joint in the little town nearest where we live, waiting for Neighbor D to finish up, and it’s likely to be quite a wait because I … Continue reading
All day and most of the night…
…it rained. Although several gullies ran into the wash, there weren’t any cloudbursts up on the plateau so the wash proper never ran. Would have been surprising, given how dry it’s been overall. Lots of mud on the road but … Continue reading
Slow brain day.
The monsoon season, which is normally over by now, almost entirely gave us a miss this year. But it has rained all day today. Never especially hard and sometimes only a drip; the gully to the east of the Lair … Continue reading
Giving the Monday morning water run a miss today…
…for the first time in years, I think. The very first thing most mornings, Torso Boy waits politely for me to signal that I’m officially awake before presenting his list of demands. This morning he pounced the moment I stirred, … Continue reading
Landlady’s house gets a deck…
A big deck. It covers half the side of the house twelve feet deep… …and the whole front eight feet deep. Plans for how we’ll build a ramp/stairs to get on the thing are still pending. Landlady and Neighbor S … Continue reading
That is exceedingly annoying.
I just spent over an hour on a bummed ride to the big town about 50 miles away for an appointment that lasted less than 15 minutes, because the doctor isn’t here and hasn’t been in all week. So I … Continue reading
Putting my wheels on my wheels…
I tried transporting the new ebike on the Jeep’s trailer one time and it was a disaster. The trailer is so light it spends half its time airborne, and the banging and bouncing scratched up my nice new bike. I … Continue reading
A Modest Proposal: Anyone with a Twitter account shall be banned from any legislative office.
Because even I know the Babylon Bee is a parody site, and I don’t even read it much. Exhibit A: Liberty University Criticized After Unveiling Stained Glass Window Depicting Donald Trump The window is featured prominently in the chapel, allowing … Continue reading
“Beto” O’Rourke, AR-15s, and the Streisand Effect
I have often mused that when powerful elements in government make serious threats about banning certain firearms, and sales of those firearms immediately skyrocket, it probably isn’t because the new purchasers simply wish to have something they can righteously surrender … Continue reading









































