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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Time to wash the solar panels…
Yesterday and half of today I’ve watched the voltage readouts with increasing concern – I know the voltage on the batteries running the 12-volt system is low and I think I know why, but the overall voltage wasn’t setting the … Continue reading
Well! That was remarkable…
Yesterday the blog saw just shy of 6500 visits, which slightly more than doubles the previous best day ever and proves as if we needed proof that Ian McCollum is a bigger star than Milo Yiannopoulos. And a couple of … Continue reading
Using the new water pressure gauge to spot a problem…
When I got home yesterday, three things about the cabin’s water were clear: It worked, the pressure was high normal, and the toilet valve had been leaking for quite some time. Normally that last thing would have had me worried … Continue reading
Uncle Joel’s got a talking part in a Forgotten Weapons video!
Watching it now more than a month after the shooting, I’m amused by how completely befuddled I appear throughout. I wore the Official TUAK Sunglasses so I couldn’t see to read and also couldn’t remember the names of any of … Continue reading
Visitors to the Secret Lair’s driveway in my absence…
This guy showed up the very day after I left… …and I don’t begin to know who he is, or whether he thought twice about proceeding before or after he saw the camera, which he surely did. As to the … Continue reading
Thunderstorm – early Monsoon?
We raced rain for the last 50 miles or so getting me home this morning. Things settled down for a while but boomer cells started moving around in the afternoon. Right now I’m out on the porch with a cup … Continue reading
…and it looks like all’s well.
We were chased by rain for the last fifty-odd miles so my friend dropped me off with all my stuff and skeedaddled back to pavement. With big fat drops falling around me I got TB in the cabin, disconnected the … Continue reading
An exercise in materialism before going home
My friends have returned, safe and sound though very tired from their unfortunately extended journey. All continuing well I’ll be home by this time tomorrow. In the meantime I was able to touch a couple of acquisitive bases… …a case … Continue reading
Products I genuinely didn’t know existed…
Offered without comment, except to request that if anybody knows if there’s a why to these things, please offer old Uncle Joel a clue…
Sometimes you just gotta nap, I guess…
Wow, I just spent four hours unconscious and it literally couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m happy to be of service to my friends but I won’t deny I’d like to go home now, and having that event … Continue reading
The Stick of Despair
Woke this morning to learn my friends’ return has been delayed. Only slightly, won’t really change anything, but still. “Delay” is not, at this point, good news. My cerebral function having come almost entirely to a halt, I’ve been sitting … Continue reading
Pet. Peeve.
I’m so bored. Going on three weeks here at my friends’ house, and (if I correctly recall) only a few days before I can go home. It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m drinking wine and burning up their wifi watching Youtube … Continue reading
So if you ever wondered where “crime guns” come from…
This news story suggests the chain of custody is circular. The government steals’em from criminals or “criminals.” Then somebody steals’em from the government and sells’em to genuine criminals, since the rest of us wouldn’t dare touch’em. Then the government ends … Continue reading
Things that make me want to take up needlepoint…
…because I need this sign in my kitchen… I overslept for an hour and would still be in bed if Torso Boy hadn’t reached Peak Bladder and started licking my nose to move things along. It’s after six and I’m … Continue reading
I am not a bicyclist…
I’m just an old one-legged guy trying to get to the market before it gets hot. Thought about that as I was laboriously pedaling the mile and a half to the Trader Joe’s this morning, heard “on your left” behind … Continue reading
I like this little flashlight.
Regular readers know I normally carry a bunch of stuff on my belt and so don’t normally have a lot of use for a penlight. But for the past few weeks I’ve gone with virtually nothing on my belt and … Continue reading
I’ve been trying to understand World War One…
…for decades, really. It seems, in the glorious clarity of my uneducated hindsight, to have been the most avoidable of wars. And it does seem that one of the causal factors was how few influential people really wanted to avoid … Continue reading
An innovative use for stretch film in making a bush shelter…
This Russian guy is cool. He’s a St. Petersburg lawyer who spent a few years of summer vacations building a log cabin. Here he shows how he built surprisingly long-lived temp structures with saplings and stretch film, a material I … Continue reading
Okay, this is ironic.
Indoor temperature is beginning to climb. Those linemen I mentioned the other day, who have been laying new cable every day this week, shut off the power without notice this morning. It’s only been an hour or two so far … Continue reading









































