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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
I have to say this at least once this season…
I love this generator. Power enough for any tool at any time and for as long as I need, right at the worksite! What a concept. I have electricity at the Lair, of course, but the inverter is only 600 … Continue reading
Bracing complete.
I got lucky with one of my diagonal braces, having forgotten the 12′ 2X6 that’s been my “temporary” threshold for 10 years that had to come off to make room for the new porch flooring. It’s rather weathered for any … Continue reading
Progress! What a difference a fresh start makes.
Ben wins the TUAK elbow fitting of the Internet for today, with honorable mention to the numerous people who mentioned the one essential I completely neglected last summer: Diagonal bracing. I didn’t have anything at the bottom right to connect … Continue reading
Yup, there it is.
The cutting table has returned to the Secret Lair for the building season. Hopefully the last official building season, at least for the Lair itself.
So you think Spam can’t go bad?
It can, but it needs some help. By coincidence this particular can was a month past its best-by date, but that wouldn’t have mattered. The weak spot in the miracle that is Spam is the easy-open top, which can open … Continue reading
And now I’m basically tearing down the porch.
…eleven months almost to the day after I built it. The last act of the floor this morning was to hold up the ladder as I took the facing boards off the vigas. The facing boards were only cosmetic but … Continue reading
This is getting a little scary to watch…
Remember that book kickstarter that was hoping to raise $25,000 in a month? Ian is already obligated to sign almost 700 books and this is only the second day of the month. At this rate that’ll be his new career. … Continue reading
Porch, Secret Lair, Floor and Roof, One Each
Some assembly required. The delivery guy was actually early. And he called at a rational time in his odyssey into the unknown*, and so taking delivery of the materials – the porch ingredients, plus some stuff for Ian’s Cave – … Continue reading
Rushing morning chores today…
I need new bread, but also need to keep the mid-day open to meet the building materials truck. So I think I broke all records this morning. Hurried the morning chicken chores while the bread dough was rising, and the … Continue reading
Ian’s book kickstarter!
Chassepot to FAMAS: French Military Rifles, 1866 – 2016 This is pretty definitely going to happen, since it’s been in production for years now and also because it is (at this moment) at nearly $40,000 of its initial $25,000 kickstarter … Continue reading
Noted for the record…
I meant to say this earlier: With a nearly full water tank, the resting pressure at the Secret Lair’s sink is 18.5 PSI. Flow pressure is about 14 and a quarter. Now the trick will be to watch the tank … Continue reading
Ah! My whatever-it-is cactus is blooming!
I mentioned these before – they don’t bloom every year and I had about decided they wouldn’t this time, but I spoke too soon. There are several buds of which this is the first, not quite fully open. Wet as … Continue reading
Off-grid is way better.
And now I must risk oversharing. Bear with me, this is sort of stream-of-consciousness. With any luck I’ll resist the urge to hit the Publish button. Most days I think of myself as a pretty capable guy. I can build … Continue reading
The Secret Lair goes Steampunk…
This took…all the time. I have no idea why. No part of it seemed that hard. But I got home from town at 11, went immediately to work on the faucet, and I just now looked up and it’s 2. … Continue reading
Speaking of snakes…
Did you know snake aversion training for dogs is a thing? It really is, and it’s as unpleasant as it sounds. Basically they show a dog a snake in a box. If the dog shies away from the snake, he … Continue reading
Know Your Snakes
On my way home from morning chicken chores I encountered this little guy… At first glance a bull snake, also called a gopher snake, can be mistaken for a rattlesnake because of its diamond pattern. But the bull snake is … Continue reading
Oh. That was hard.
I have spent three hours crawling around under the cabin. I have a headache. I want beer and a sit-down in the shade. But I have completed the underfloor pipe insulation – now that it’s no longer winter. That was … Continue reading
Care packages! Camera lenses, Coffee, and (ahem) Curtains…
Okay, those pictures have finished uploading. Let’s give this a try. Landlady was here this weekend! And the big news in care packages was actually stuff I had ordered for various projects, often months ago. Two examples… I currently have … Continue reading
Okay, I’m standing on a hilltop…
In literal line of sight to the nearest cell tower. I’m thumbing this post out on my phone and that’s the reason for any inevitable typos. There is a care package post coming but for some meteorological reason unconnected to … Continue reading
Anybody ever use a smartphone camera lens set?
Landlady came up this weekend with care packages, including an unexpected gift from Big Brother. It has turned into a busy day but I spent a few minutes on the porch playing with the telephoto lens and it looks like … Continue reading









































