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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
It’s not just New England fields that grow rocks…
Another beautiful day is promised, and I was out in it early to pull the weeds currently trying to take over my yard. Having filled the wheelbarrow with them, I started picking up some of the more ankle-turning and leg-breaking … Continue reading
Every time I poke my head out I wonder…
…why do presidential candidates hate me so much? As far as I’ve been able to tell, if you discount the old white guys the current favorite for the driver’ seat in the Democrats’ clown car is somebody named Kamala Harris. … Continue reading
This place makes me a little sad.
On my morning walkie I came to the hill overlooking what some people used to call the Claire Cabins… …not because Claire had anything to do with them. Actually I’m not sure why they called them that. Maybe Claire just … Continue reading
See, this is why I left California…
…there’s always a fee. er…fine. Tax, maybe.
Canned meat review: Keystone turkey and ground beef
These have been up in the pantry for quite a while, because they’re special and I sort of saved them for a treat. But I happened to notice last week that some packaged food Big Brother sent me a long … Continue reading
It always turns out you don’t want to stand too close.
What is it with militias and whackos? Full disclosure: For several-going-on-many years I was provisionally in favor of the militia movement. I suppose I still am, in a theoretical principle kind of way. I kept going in and out of … Continue reading
Here comes that T-storm I was promised…
The desert does enjoy its drama. I may or may not be making an afternoon chicken run today.
Whew! Warmer than expected.
Just got back from my morning walkie. I was promised cool weather and thunderstorms for today. The forecast still says afternoon t-storms, but right now it’s looking like sunny and warm. Had a lovely walkie but I’m trying to take … Continue reading
In case you were wondering why Uncle Joel is a hermit in the desert…
NOTICE – NSFW 😀 Y’all stay safe out there. I’m barring the doors to be on the safe side: Far too many bunnies around here, now that I think about it.
It only takes two to make a battle, I guess.
It’s only late mid-April, there aren’t many hummingbirds about, and it makes absolutely no sense for two birds to fight over a 4-station feeder. But they’re hummingbirds: They make chickens look like Greek philosophers. There’s probably a good reason for … Continue reading
Coyotes and badgers, living together! Mass hysteria!
I patted myself on the back too quickly. Went out to mark the wash end of the driveway this morning and found fresh coyote tracks. Checked the game camera, and… That’s something I never expected to see. I’ve have expected … Continue reading
…and wasting propane is a sin.
I was going to let this last bottle go empty, just so I could neatly refill it. But that offends my sense of frugality. I’ve left the thermostat off but the furnace pilot on for a couple of weeks now, … Continue reading
No more animal sign in the driveway…
These are the only strange animals in evidence lately… I’m still working on marking the other approaches to the Lair, to let the coyotes know I disapprove of their latest encroachments. It sounds stupid, but really seems to work. It … Continue reading
Random Gulchy Moments
Baking day, which means I finally get to try out that new sifter. Never used one in all my life, but it seemed the logical way to sort out that old lumped-up flour… And it works just fine! Problem solved. … Continue reading
Gotta climb that hill first thing in the morning if I want that picture…
Every time I climb the ridge on the far side of the wash I get a lovely view of the Lair – and it always takes a terrible picture… Because I always forget that the only time the sun hits … Continue reading
I’m just not a hunter, I guess…
I’ve been feeling a little bad about myself for the past couple of days because I did something no hunter would have thought twice about: I killed an animal that wasn’t doing me any harm and that I didn’t plan … Continue reading
Top. Men.
Though in this case it’s women. I don’t know if this is the worst headline ever written, but I believe it may be the worst I’ve ever personally read. Tourist mecca Notre Dame also revered as place of worship Really? … Continue reading
What the fork?
Most beautiful day so far this year – seventy in the shade before nine, barely a cloud in the sky. My morning walkie is becoming a tradition, but this time I did it in a t-shirt and lugging water. One … Continue reading









































