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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Oh, my. That’s disconcerting.
Look what I got in my mail… I guess I should click that link immediately, huh? But how did I keep getting emails after receiving this one?
Okay, I’m going to go ahead and consider this a plus.
Regular readers know I have gone without indoor running water for the past couple of months. A week or two ago I repaired the broken valve at the base of the tank on the top of the ridge, but the … Continue reading
Brazilian officials ask, “What did this whale know about Hillary?”
Dead humpback whale discovered in Brazil’s Amazon jungle puzzles researchers Biologists were baffled to discover the body of a huge humpback whale being picked at by vultures in the midst of trees and shrubbery in Brazil’s Amazon jungle in late … Continue reading
…and they branded “Luckiest dumbass on the motorway” across his forehead…
h/t 90 Miles From Tyranny
Housekeeping, and some Gulch history goes up the stovepipe
Spent a little time updating the TUAK blogroll this evening, and wow have I fallen out of touch. Maybe it’s true that the blog is dead: Certainly a lot of the blogs on my list were. Some of the deletions … Continue reading
The Eloi were small soft creatures who couldn’t tie their own shoes.
With the final passing of the Morloks who did their coding, they swiftly starved into extinction. I genuinely didn’t know whether to laugh or cry… $350 self-lacing sneakers don’t work with Nike’s official Android app. Nike users are experiencing some … Continue reading
That’s it. I’ve had enough. I’m posting an immediate complaint with the weather board.
It’s late February. I don’t demand Spring, I’m not unreasonable, but this is early January weather. Actually today and the next few days are supposed to be quite nice. The mud is going to be epic, it was already getting … Continue reading
Maybe we’re on the other side of Suck Valley…
Today’s supposed to be clear and cold, and then things are supposed to get more seasonal which here in late February means not that bad. I can dream. Yesterday we got about five inches and the sun never peeked through … Continue reading
Note to lefties: Don’t threaten sheriffs on Facebook.
This morning I got a link from Landlady suggesting that the Washington state legislature might have problems getting useful effect from their recent ginormous anti-gun law I-1639… At least 20 county sheriffs in Washington state – more than half of … Continue reading
I got lost in the wash.
It’s been snowing a lot since daybreak… …and around the time TB needed his morning walky I started worrying about the chickens’ top cover so I cleaned off the Jeep and headed out to Landlady’s early. Before I left the … Continue reading
The “storm” arrives…
And we have got some snow, though I wouldn’t call it a storm… It seems almost unnatural to see snow falling straight down. Doesn’t snow normally fall sideways? But the wind has dropped to nothing at all. I don’t know … Continue reading
I was told there would be storms.
I waited and waited, finally went to bed, and the morning dawned on the not-as-unpleasant-as-possible side… But the forecaster assures me that snowmageddon is coming, I just need to be patient. It’s certainly windy and cold enough on the ridgetops. … Continue reading
St. Famine’s Day
Last winter, the ten pounds of frozen cut-up pork I stocked with Landlady’s help outlasted the winter. Mild winter, and I really only use it for a mood brightener and also to heat up the cabin on bad days without … Continue reading
C-c-cold day for a promised midday chore…
D&L have to spend the day in the big town about 50 miles away for a doctor’s appointment, so something like two weeks ago I promised to take care of their horses while they’re gone. The weather wouldn’t have made … Continue reading
And this is why, if I catch you dumping a dog in the desert…
…I will at least consider doing something to help you remember why that’s bad and evil. To be honest I don’t know how this dog got lost out here; maybe he was dumped, maybe he strayed on his own. He … Continue reading
Cold, windy, expensive morning…
Monday morning water run on what should have been a mild day, the temp is in the middle thirties but the wind is absurdly unpleasant. And we basically had to do everything… 520 pounds of wood pellets for D&L. 20 … Continue reading
Dammit! Do food allergies become more of a thing as you age?
Because I don’t remember ever hearing that. But I do remember noticing, several months ago, that I seem to have become allergic to almonds. They upset my gut, causing weapon-grade gas and – well – explosive diarrhea. So I regretfully … Continue reading
Oh, grumble…
Yesterday afternoon I wasn’t feeling well, something’s upsetting my stomach for some reason. So I sat inside watching a movie and almost missed the fact that the weather had completely socked in and it was snowing about as hard as … Continue reading









































